After a long season of loss, betrayal, bitterness, abuse, divorce or loneliness one’s heart can become either too hard or too fragile, too closed or too open.
I find in my travels, speaking and counseling that far too many women suffer extreme heart issues. The emotional pendulum swings from one end of extreme hardness or being extremely needy, desperate and naive. There are those extremely independent (“I don’t need any one)…all the way to the other extreme mindset of being too dependent. If you are afraid of being alone or think a relationship validates you and makes you whole, you could have a relationship addiction. Unfortunately I see this all too often.
When your self-esteem is healthy, the emotional pendulum swings in the middle because of healing, balance, prayer and self-awareness. Open your eyes and see your real worth and beauty in the mirror. Get balance in your life. Seek advice help from the wise women in your life. Pour all that misguided and untapped passion into your goals, purpose and dreams. Begin to transform your thinking to believe you can take care of yourself. If you think a man can save you, you are setting yourself up for an unhappy, abusive and dominating relationship. You can do good all by yourself until the Lord sends the right one baby!
When you both bring something to the table, your chances for harmony, respect, love and common goals are increased. But if you get into a relationship feeling empty and expect some one to fill your cup, you are giving away all of your power, value and self-worth.
I write in my book, “Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain With You” that the scent of a woman is powerful. Dogs can smell desperation, neediness, immaturity and weakness. A woman with self-esteem has the aroma of confidence, faith and self-worth.
When your heart is smart you can avoid the pitfalls, problems and pain of living in a chaotic, drama filled, sitting by phone, life on hold and stressful world.
You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life,” you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Don’t allow other people to control, manipulate or validate your existence. Value your dreams, body, goals, time and peace of mind. If you don’t… no one else will. Learn how to discern between lust, like and love. Learn how to love smart. Don’t allow your heart to be attacked by abusers and losers.
As you heal your heart of illusions, grudges, fantasies, desperation and bitterness, your opportunities increase to have a righteous relationship.
As the Self-esteem Dr. I have performed many heart makeovers and CPR to help women breathe again.
Read Proverb 23:7 and remember that as a man(woman) thinketh, so is he(she). This powerful teaching reminds us that right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves. If you think in your heart that you are not worthy…not pretty…not loving…not blessed…not qualified…then you will have more that in your life. Begin to speak and think in your heart that you are qualified, beautiful, divine, blessed, grateful, anointed and loved. Wear the sweet aroma of self-esteem, confidence and a daughter of the Most High God. “Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” – Proverbs 4: 23
by Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr., Author, Conference Speaker, Women’s Retreat Leader, Life Coach, Founder of Women on the Grow
To contact Jewel or call 323.964.1736
e-mail – JewelMotivates@gmail.com