I’m Tired – Lost My Joy

Pain and suffering are gifts nobody wants.  I’ve come to understand and embrace the fact that life is bitter and sweet.  If we never experience pain or loss, we never really experience joy.  If we never learn how to cope with difficult times, we become hard, cold, afraid, self-centered, defeated, hopeless, overwhelmed and insensitive to the pain of others around us.

We all experience seasons of pain,suffering, delays, loss, discouragement and change.  You may be overwhelmed with your own issues of poor health, financial stress, divorce, unemployment or worry.  Or you may be overwhelmed because you are a caregiver for a loved one living with autism, addictions, mental illness, cancer or in prison.  It’s enough to steal your joy and sap you of your patience, time, energy, faith and finances.  Only those who have a mustard seed of faith, a remnant of hope and strong in their resolve to press on, will survive tough times. Conquering your giants requires you to live with the realities in your life and then empower yourself to take action.  In your exhaustion and suffering, I pray you find a fresh reason to hope and hold on to your faith.   Recognize the need for healing and strength to endure.   For us to receive the healing of emotional wounds, we must first acknowledge that we are hurting (Matthew 9:10-13, Revelation 3:17). Many of us have lied to ourselves as well as to others. We have said, “I’m really O.K.” or “It really doesn’t matter that much.” Or “I am ashamed and don’t want people to know.” Denial can become a habit, your unconscious defense mechanism.  Denial wants to reduce anxiety, pain, thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously too difficult to face.

Sometimes life is not turning right, it makes a left turn.  Sometimes your life doesn’t feel just fine (like Mary J’s song says) and you want growth, stability, progress, love, abundance, joy, health and peace.  Awareness and acceptance are the first place to start if you want to be delivered from pain into peace.

What issues in your life are you trying to avoid? i.e. weight/health, debt, loss, anger, abuse, poor choices in your relationships, family secrets, the pain from your past, bad habits that have become addictions, disorder and clutter in your life, employment, your age or fear of being alone?  Assess your stress! You may be asking, “Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes? How do I break this cycle of depression, worry or self-destructive addictions?” Why do I try so hard to get people to love me and understand me? How do I find some peace in my life instead of always falling to pieces? Why am I always comparing my life to others?

If you don’t honestly look at your pattern of behavior and beliefs, your mind traps will become stronger.  You may realize in this season of your life that you are caught up in an emotional and mental trap. You may realize that the source of your unhappiness and stress is your inability to free yourself from the traps.

As you begin to fully acknowledge that you are often ruled by a protective emotional mask and caught up in a trap to cope with life, your transformational process can happen. Do you genuinely want to make your emotional health a priority?  You can learn how to break the toxic cycle of poor emotional health which is destroying families, children, marriages, careers and even communities.

As you decide and commit to assessing, admitting, and reducing your emotional wounds, you will experience “aha” moments, breakthroughs, and new insights to free yourself from self-defeating mind traps. You will feel more clear, focused, alert, motivated, decisive, calm and centered.

The joy of sharing this information cannot be measured. I discovered so much about the mind and emotional traps through study, self-discovery, counseling, prayer and the courage to find my voice.  I began to discover some common mental and emotional traps.

     Rescuer Trap– Because of a parent’s weakness, absence orpush for excellence, a child can grow up fast and become the “little adult” and feels responsible for other family members’ welfare and comfort, and “keeping the family together. This trap makes one feel they must protect their caregivers and siblings because no one else will. This hinders the child from experiencing normal childhood development.

The need to help others even at the expense and risk of your own well-being is the mind trap. You can never say, “no” to someone’s requests. You receive emotional satisfaction playing the hero and the fixer role. The trap of a caretaker is feeling responsible for compensating for their personality-disordered loved-one’s behaviors, cleaning up any messes created by their actions and fixing any problems arising from their mental or emotional issues. Soon resentment, exhaustion, financial stress, poor health and isolation happen because of burnout.

     Martyr Trap– The Martyr refuses to indulge or enjoy even thesimple pleasures of life. As a result they are always victimizing and punishing themselves. The martyr type’s giving is often totally selfish, it’s not heart orientated giving, because the martyr is simply trying to get your attention by victimizing themselves – it’s an attention seeking strategy, selfish and dangerous. Martyrs are people who recognize they are being taken advantage of and choose to remain in the situation. Martyrs often seek sympathy for their plight. They seek support, advice and help from others.

The trap is believing you are stuck in a situation and seem to be unable to resolve it. Martyrs often believe it is their obligation to remain in their position in life. They would feel guilty if they let go of the current situation. They fear taking the risk to change the situation.

Martyrs are “professional” help seekers. They make the rounds of paid and volunteer helpers, advice givers, counselors/consultants–anyone willing to listen to their tale of woe. Unfortunately, they usually ignore the assistance, advice or direction they are given.

      Victim trap – People who are taken advantage of but areunaware of being treated as such. Victims are individuals whose rights are ignored and abused but were unaware that they would be treated in this manner before they entered the situation. Victims often suffer silently for long periods of time before they are able to verbalize the unfairness of their life situations. Victims frequently never seek help. They are often frustrated and lost as to what needs to be done to get them out of their current situation.

      Procrastinator Trap–This person is caught in a cycle ofavoidance. Their mind trap convinces them they more time or that they should wait until everything is perfect before starting. Or the mind trap will collaborate with your inner critic to convince you that you should wait until you are perfect before starting something new. This mind trap causes you to postpone unpleasant responsibilities and situations. This emotional trap is costly because you lose time and opportunities, your health deteriorates, your money, credit, integrity and peace of mind suffer. The procrastination habit is a thief!

get your e-book “I’m Tired But Still Inspired” so you continue reading about the other emotional traps- click here     Take a prayer break and listen to a great song to lift your head click here

RECESSION PROOF YOUR FAITH

What life lessons have you learned from this recession? How has your faith kept you pressing, believing, surviving, stretching, giving, going and standing in spite of it all? Here are a few of my lessons…

1. I’ve seen how God has been faithful even when I wasn’t.

2. I truly grasp now the idea of “God’s grace”.

3. We learned to communicate more with each other. When you have more than enough… you become too independent. When finances change, you learn to be more interdependent and less independent.

4. I love to shop but I learned to wear what I already have in my closets.

5. I have learned to trust the Lord like never before. Downsizing is teaching all of us to be smart with your dollars so I had to have courage and trust in the Lord to lower some of my products and services so people could benefit from the knowledge.

6. This economy will sensitize you to the needs of others. Everyone around us is fighting some type of battle. There are so many opportunities to show compassion, patience and prayers for others who have much less than me.

7. I understand more and more how to be thankful for everything. I realize how important it is not to take my life, home, health, marriage, family, my experiences and blessings for granted. Everyday my heart is full of gratitude and peace in spite of my circumstances. Everything and everyone is temporal. Count your blessings everyday. Let your loved ones know you love (show them, tell them).

8. I see more acts of kindness. I see more people around me bartering, connecting, helping each other to find jobs, helping students in college, helping single parents, sharing their homes, carpooling to save gas, etc. People are seeing the need to swallow their pride, ask for help and to help others in need. After losing their jobs, I see people finding joy because they are using their gifts, talents and skills to generate income and serve their community.

9. The word Habakkuk in the Bible means “hug”. When you read Habakkuk 3:17-19 you will receive a hug from the Lord. God is our Comforter, Redeemer, Provider and Strong Tower.

10. I see how critical it is to my emotional and spiritual well-being not to engage in negative, fear-based, gossipy, criticizing, limiting, bitter, complaining or small thinking conversations with people. I limit my time of watching too much news. The constant stream of negative and fear based news will weaken your faith and feed your fears.

11. I’ve learned how important it is to guard your heart and your health against the shifts, shaking and storms of life. I cannot control everything and everyone, but I can control my anger, frustration, fears and reaction to stress. Good health is wealth. I’ve learned to lighten up more, breathe, get my rest, take vitamin/herbal supplements and let go of stress.

12. I have learned to stand on God’s promises and NOT lean on my own understanding

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:19

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” ~ Isaiah 26:3

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “. ~ Psalm 46:1

“Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? “And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!“Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 26-34

13. I have learned not to procrastinate or isolate when life becomes challenging. When my faith is tested, I’ve learned not to just pray with my hands and heart, but with my feet…take action, follow God’s guidance and get up each day so the enemy can say…”DARN, she’s up again!” My income has been downsized. My son’s car was stolen. The bills keep coming. Many of my loved ones are “going through”. I’ve had speaking engagements cancelled. My blood pressure tries to steal my joy. I will NOT give up or have a pity party. I”M STILL BLESSED.  I”M GRATEFUL.  I’M RESILIENT.  I’M CREATIVE.  I LOVE THE LORD!   I BOUNCE BACK EVERY TIME. I’M EXCITED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES AND PROMISES GOD HAS FOR ME!  I AM DIVINELY CONNECTED TO THE INFINITE SUPPLY OF GOD’s STOREHOUSE. I   DON’T LEAN ON MY OWN POWER OR UNDERSTANDING.   I PRESS. I know how to SHOUT in a DROUGHT.  I BELIEVE GOD CAN DO A NEW THING!   I PRAISE GOD!   I BELIEVE.   I REMAIN ACTIVE AND PROACTIVE.   I AM OPTIMISTIC!   I AM LOCKED AND LOADED WITH GOD’S WORD AS MY ARMOR AGAINST ANY ATTACKS OR LACK. I AM BLESSED.   I AM VICTORIOUS. My spiritual warfare keeps me from falling and being a victim of recession, depression or rejection when I don’t get the outcome I want. God’s grace is sufficient and I have learned to be resilient because the bad news is…Things are going to change. The good news is…Things are going to change. Hallelujah! (This message is an excerpt from the CD “Get Your Life Back” by Jewel Diamond Taylor click here for your copy.

25 Causes for Procrastination

      What is stopping you from being, doing or having what you desire in your life?  I confess…I am  a recovering procrastinator.  Because of my desire to break the avoidance habit, I began to study and interview countless people about their procrastination habits.     I have discovered 25 reasons why people allow the thief called “procrastination” to rob them of success, peace of mind, the fulfillment of their destiny or have self-imposed pain, limitations and lost opportunities.   One of the strongholds that perpetuates procrastination is allowing the critics/naysayers/haters/”straw people” to suck out all of your joy, faith, confidence, passion and fire.

      If you want to be successful in life and stay in the game, you have to be mentally tough to take the hits, criticism, rejection, insecurities, fears and nonsense that will surely come your way when you are bold enough to go after your dream.

     A few years ago I hosted a Mother/Daughter Cruise with over 100 women to the Bahamas and spoke at Rev. Myles Munroe’s Church during our port stop.  On the return cruise home one of the ladies complained about every little detail of the trip.  I really believe she had a manipulative/con spirit and simply wanted a refund.  I received so many letters, calls and emails from the other ladies telling me how much fun they had and how some of them had healing breakthroughs with their estranged mothers or daughters.  But for some reason I focused on that “one” critic who sucked out all of my joy and gratitude and I forgot about all the positive feedback while focusing on the negative.

     I learned a lesson from this about procrastination.  People often avoid making decisions, taking action or making changes in their life because of past trauma or negative feedback. You may be procrastinating on your dream because you want to avoid pain (i.e. fear of rejection, criticism, failure, embarrassment or loss).         I reveal the other 24 causes of procrastination and some awesome and “do-able” solutions to help you experience progress, satisfaction, results, fulfillment and success on my CD “Who or What is Stopping You?” (Stories, Strongholds and Solutions to Arrest the Thief Called Procrastination – click here to order your own copy)

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt, Speech in Paris April 23, 1910 

Meet Me for Breakfast

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I have many regrets in my life.  But I do not regret following my heart, my dream, my purpose…what I think is my spiritual assignment.  I’m glad I did not stop.  I’m glad I learned how to turn my passion into a paid profession.  I have been stuck many times.  I have had shifting, shocks, sorrows, stumbles, success and surprises in my life.   I wish I could impart to everyone that I cannot motivate anyone.  All I can do is inspire others with my testimony, not just from my lips, but from my life lived in spite of the shifts.  Perseverance and remaining teachable are key.  Getting out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be stretched to cultivate the seed of greatness within you can take you to higher heights.  Association and decisions determine your destination which means the people in your life help or hinder your progress.

I will be teaching, mentoring and hosting my next “Purpose2Passion2ProfitMentoring Breakfast at the beautiful Long Beach Renaissance Hotel by the ocean, 111 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach, California.  Saturday, August 25, 2012.  I only accept 12 reservations so we can have an dynamic, up close and personal time for guests to ask me questions and for me to share my pearls of wisdom on how to turn your passion into a paid profession …especially for those in the public speaking business.

In my 25 year span of being self-employed as a conference/motivational/inspirational speaker and trainer I have gained many insights to help others shorten their learning curve.  I find many people desire to make money from their gifts, talents and passion but end up frustrated, distracted, discouraged, broke and unfulfilled.

“A note to let you know that Saturday was incredible.  On the way home I began listening to  your Pursue Your Purpose CD. I couldn’t believe how much instruction is on there.  I had to take it out of the car immediately and start over with my journal, taking small bites of the buffet of knowledge that you were offering.   Look forward to seeing you next time.” ~ Bonnie

As a Success Life Coach I have mentored hundreds of men and women on how to experience breakthroughs, clarity and success.  Here are some signs you would benefit from attending my next mentoring breakfast:

  • you’re not happy with your current life situation, but aren’t sure what to change (feeling stuck)
  • you have goals, but find it hard to keep on track, succumbing to procrastination
  • you have a passion/talent/ideas/gifts and want to be paid like a professional
  • instead of hearing me at a large conference without any contact, you prefer the personal setting where you can ask me questions and learn more
  • you are isolated and lack accountability and strategic information for growth
  • you have something important in your life that you keep thinking about, but never take any action
  • you are ready to take your life to a new level of income, creativity, purpose and super intention
Jewel speaking in front of audience
  “As one of the first women of color to speak in a male dominant speaking arena, I had no one to mentor me.  No one was willing to share or answer my questions.  I purposed in my heart that whatever mistakes I made and whatever lessons I learned, I would reach back.
One ticket $50 per person, click here to purchase your ticket
Space is limited to only 12 guests.  To register by phone call 323.964.1736 , ticket includes:
  • full delicious buffet breakfast
  • Purpose2Passion2Profit” teaching CD,
  • mentoring round table interactive teaching and Q&A with Jewel Diamond Taylor
If you have any questions call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Power of Believing

This is the magnet you will receive (2 each) when you order the convenient and power-packed e-book “I’m Tired But Still Inspired to Press On” by Jewel Diamond Taylor
This e-book promises to justify your faith,
magnify your possibilities,
glorify God’s goodness and promises and,
horrify the enemy because you will be
energized  to press on and NOT give up in spite of your circumstances.

click  here to order your copy today 

No More Shyness

Are you feeling shy, socially awkward, nervous in social settings and lack meaningful connections with others?  Are you more comfortable sending a text then talking with someone on the phone.  You may be spending too much time alone on the computer or hiding in your cave called home.  You may be more comfortable with a computer and your iphone than actually having a conversation face-to-face with someone.  You can learn to overcome this social handicap.

Surround yourself with people who have the qualities you wish to have. Their positive influence can give you courage.  Be inspired by their examples of being extroverted, social and adventurous, but still honor and acknowledge yourself.

Self-improvement implies there is something wrong with you. There is someone around you who admires your qualities and strengths.  Love yourself just the way you are and strive for growth not improvement.

Start accepting invitations to go to lunch, the movies, a party or on a trip.  Grow outside your comfort zone one step at a time.

The next time you are at a party, whether it is a small get together, a wedding, a social event at school, etc, look around for someone who seems to be even more shy than you and go talk to that person. Approaching someone who seems more shy will help you feel more confident and less alone.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t be too self-absorbed. So often our ego makes us think everything revolves us.  The ego will make you too self-conscious, when in fact everyone else is really focusing on themselves, not you.  Perfectionism will keep you stuck and shy.  Don’t strive to look and speak perfect…strive for progress.  That is too much pressure, very unrealistic and unhealthy.

If you feel invisible, insignificant or incompetent…develop your strengths.  If you are lacking in some skills i.e. writing, reading, speaking, computer skills, math, stuttering, image issues, dancing, dating, etc., seek opportunities to take classes.  Competence = confidence.  Once you feel more competent in something, the more it will reduce your shyness.  Don’t suffer or procrastinate, take a class, ask for help, sharpen your axe.

Don’t take life too seriously.  Don’t over analyze every conversation, new experience, rejection or a disappointment.  This was a big lesson for me.  I learned to develop a sense of humor and lighten up.  People and life are funny, crazy, different, unpredictable, amazing, wonderful, painful, beautiful, loving and scary.  Learn to enjoy and appreciate the diversity of life.

It’s also essential to let go of bad experiences. When you dwell on a bad experience, it grows into something much more frightening than reality. Don’t do this to yourself! The more you think about a bad experience, the more power you give it. Think about something constructive. The more you can fill your mind with positive memories of speaking up the easier it gets.

Give yourself a reward when you overcome a habit of shyness and practice confidence and courage.  Honor and celebrate your self-esteem and self-worth.  Each step of courage will introduce you to a new world of love, possibilities, awareness, joy and inner strength.

Saving yourself a little embarrassment doesn’t amount to much in the long run. By overcoming shyness, you give yourself the chance to be recognized and promoted. You create opportunities and open yourself up to forming meaningful relationships.

If you suffer from severe shyness, the root cause could be from a painful hurt from family, friends, job, childhood or rejection issues.  The pain and trauma can paralyze you because your mind believes the ugly words and lies from others spoken into your life.  Issues of abandonment, rejection, criticism and low self-esteem are possible triggers for shyness.

I welcome the opportunity to support you if you wish to have another level of support.  I am a life coach/counselor who can teach you wonderful ways to break the limiting habit of shyness.  Call me 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

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Did You Know This About Relationships?

  1. If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy.
  2. Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for other women because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.
  3. Sometimes rejection is God’s protection.  Guard your heart.  Protect your heart from futile, abusive, neglectful, dishonest, immature, unequally yoked relationships void of God, respect, mutual goals and values.  Heal your heart.
  4. When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.
  5. If your mate falls asleep and you feel the need to look through their phone to see who has been calling/texting… if you look on their Facebook page to see who their friends are…if you look through their wallet for phone numbers or condoms…look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why am I in this relationship if I can’t trust him (her)?
  6. Real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he’s got her.
  7. Sometimes you’re not meant to make up after a breakup…it could be your wake upcall to show you that you are not meant to be a couple.
  8. The only three things a guy should want change to about his girl is her last name, address, and her viewpoint on men.
  9. Stop going back to the one who brings you more pain than happiness. It’s not worth it to continue to invest your feelings into somebody unworthy of your love.
  10. When you get in a fight with her and she starts crying, just stop and hold her.
  11. When a girl says, ‘I’m done’, it really means ‘fight for me’.
  12. Love when you’re ready… not when you’re lonely.
  13. There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page or just closing the book.
  14. Every woman’s heart has different instructions. They’re written through her eyes, in her smile, through her actions and in her tears. She just has to find someone who cares enough to read them.
  15. Whether the man in your life is a friend, lover or husband, men like women who like themselves.  Women who have a very low self-esteem are dangerous.  Men think they are hysterical, stalkers, whiners, weak, clingy and needy.
  16. Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again…
  17. Marriage is a ministry and covenant.  You both come into the marriage with baggage and wounds.  Pray for the strength, courage, forgiveness, wisdom, sense of humor, compassion and faith to help unpack each other’s baggage.
  18. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
  19. Choose the guy that takes you to meet his parents and not his bedroom.
  20. Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.
  21. Don’t cry over a guy. Let a guy cry over you, cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.
  22. Don’t let past relationships ruin your future happiness, scars remind us of where we’ve been, not where we are going.
  23. A boy will tell you that he loves you but a real man will show it.
  24. You can’t see your next if you’re too busy looking at your Ex.
  25. A EX should stay an EX. They’re the EXample of false love and an EXplanation for why you deserve better.
  26. If someone constantly makes you unhappy, then you must build up the courage to let that person go. Your memories will always live on, but it’s time to move on.
  27. Don’t take a good woman or man for granted. Someday, someone will come along and appreciate what you didn’t.
  28. Don’t search for a man that will solve all your problems, he won’t. Find one that won’t let you face them alone.
  29. Lust and love can make you blind.  When someone shows you who they are, believe it.  Take off your “pink” sunglasses.  Notice the red flags waving that warn you he or she is not the one.
  30. Follow your heart…but take your brain with you.   If you are attracted to the unavailable, “bad boy”, selfish, controlling or player type, you won’t be with a prayer.  Don’t just ask for a “good man”…seek a God man.
  31. Make your home a castle, not a hassle…and your mate will come home every time.
  32. True love doesn’t mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes.
  33.  Carry yourself like a Queen and you’ll get your King. Carry yourself as a “ho” and see how far you go.
  34. Rushing into emotional or sexual intimacy causes us to fast forward and skip over the real process of building a relationship based on time, dating, communication, trust, asking qualifying questions, honesty, disciplining our hormones, shared values, boundaries and friendship.
  35. Never underestimate a woman’s ability to find things out. It is always better to be honest because whatever you did, she will find out sooner or later. Trust me.
  36. Before you give up, think of the reason why you held on so long.
  37. If you cheat on a woman who is willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself out of true loyalty.
  38. Anyone can make you happy by doing something special, but only someone special can make you happy without doing anything.
  39. If you’re having relationship problems, confess to God not Facebook.
  40. If your girlfriend gets jealous it’s because she’s faithful. If another girl has your attention and she doesn’t get jealous, it’s because someone has hers.
  41. Don’t date the most beautiful girl in the world, date the girl who makes your world the most beautiful.
  42. Don’t stress over what could’ve been, chances are if it should’ve been, it would’ve been.
  43. Giving too much to your man can make him too lazy and he loses interest or he will take, take and take.  Why?…because he has gotten used to being the receiver and loses interest in pursuing and providing for you.
  44. It’s better to be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie.
  45. Once they see that you’re doing better without them, then they decide that they want you back.
  46. A woman tends to center her life around relationships while men tend to center their priorities around work, money, power and status.
  47. If you love someone, you better PROVE it. Because LOVE is not a noun to be defined, but a verb to be acted upon.
  48. If your relationship has more issues than your magazine, you need to cancel your subscription.
  49. When you say ‘I love you’, you are making a promise with someone else’s heart. Try to honor it.
  50. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want but it won’t go.
  51. If your parents were physically or emotionally absent or if you witnessed abuse, neglect, infidelity and reckless sexual behavior, you were NOT provided with good examples to know what healthy love looks like.
  52. Don’t base your relationship decisions off of the advice of people who don’t have to live with the results.
  53. Its time to move on if you aren’t getting as much attention as you desire. there’s nothing worse than feeling lonely in a relationship.
  54. It’s not about being what everyone wants you to be, it’s about being yourself and finding someone who truly loves you for what you are.
  55. Be the one who everyone wants, not the one who everyone’s had.
  56. Forgive someone because you believe they are truly sorry, not just because you want to keep them in your life.
  57. Pride attracts the girl. Courage approaches the girl. Wisdom gets the girl. Strength puts up with the girl, but loyalty keeps the girl.
  58. If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority
  59. When hugging her, lift her off her feet and spin around …she’ll love it.
  60. .Are you one link in a chain of fools?  Are you living with hopeless devotion, waiting and waiting in a one-sided relationship?  Your head probably knows it doesn’t make sense to keep trying, hoping, crying, waiting and wasting your time on someone who can’t return your love.  It’s your heart that needs to see the truth.  Your heart will keep remembering the good times and keep you in denial about the bad times.
  61. Females these days really need to search for a man with goals, faith, integrity and ambition because 10 years from now ‘Swag’ isn’t going to pay your bills.
  62. Sometimes, you end up losing yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you.
  63. If he misses you, he’ll call. If he cares, he’ll show it. If not, he can’t be worth your time because you’re obviously not worth his.
  64. Don’t waste your time loving someone who isn’t willing to love you.
  65. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you, a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…seek someone complimentary… not supplementary.Don’t expect to find the right person if you aren’t willing to let the wrong one go.
  66. Don’t be a woman that needs a man, be the woman a man needs.
  67. If you leave someone at least tell them why, because what’s more painful than being abandoned; is knowing you’re not worth an explanation.
  68. Relationships fail because of trust issues, commitment issues and communication issues.
  69. Without respect, love is lost. Without caring, love is boring. Without honesty, love is unhappy. Without trust, love is unstable.
  70. Never tell your friends all of your relationship problems, a relationship should only be between two people.
  71. Constantly comparing your old relationship to your new one is the quickest way to find yourself single again.
  72. When a woman stops crying over you, that means someone else is making her smile.
  73. Flirting is a single person’s way of saying ‘I’m free!’ but for those in relationships, it’s their way of saying ‘I’m bored.’
  74. If someone truly loves you, then they shouldn’t make you feel like you have to constantly fight for their attention.
  75. When women are unconsciously seeking a Daddy, “someone to watch over me, protect me, love me and provide for me.”…she could potentially find herself in desperate situations where she is being controlled and treated like a child instead of a cherished adult.
  76. Just like dogs can smell fear, anyone without virtue will recognize a weak and needy person and take advantage of their vulnerability. Dogs only go where they are fed.    Maintain your self-respect and self-esteem. If you keep answering the phone and opening the door to your bedroom even though you are being mistreated, you are opening your heart and spirit to trouble, pain, more disrespect and abuse.  Once you stop feeding a stray dog, they stop coming around.  Unless he’s a puppy, have him tested, you don’t know where he’s been. Don’t handle aggression with aggression. Always compliment good behavior.  Understand that men are territorial.  Puppy love fades – they pant and beg when they don’t get what they want.  If his pants are drooping like a diaper and he calls his place a “crib”, you’ve got a baby…not a man.  If he spends most of his time playing games (i.e.video, play station, sports)…you got a boy…not a man.  If his eyes still roam and he can’t resist flirting with other women or won’t delete the phone numbers from past relationships…he still wants to play…not stay.
  77. Jealousy in relationships is actually quite normal. A little jealousy is one way of showing how much we love our significant other. On the other hand, however, too much jealousy signifies a lack of trust in our partner and may break a happy union.
  78. Protect her like a daughter, love her like a wife, respect her like your mother.
  79. Sometimes, all a girl wants is for you to fight for her. Make her believe that you may want this relationship more than she does.
  80. Don’t give up on love, because there is always someone who loves you. Even if it’s not the person you were hoping for.
  81. If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, then they deserve to be with you through your good times.
  82. The worst way to leave someone is without an explanation.
  83. Don’t be someones down-time, spare-time, part-time or sometime. If they cant be there for you all of the time, then they’re not even worth your time.
  84. There’s no sense in leading a person on if you already know it isn’t going to work out.
  85. Staying with someone who doesn’t appreciate you is like standing in quick sand, slowly sinking in sadness.
  86. If she worries about you, don’t think that it’s annoying because it only means she cares about you. When she stops caring, that’s when you should be worried.
  87. Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person you want most, is the person you’re best without.
  88. Touch her heart….not her body. Steal her attention…not her virginity. Make her smile….don’t waste her tears.
  89. The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends.
  90. Fall in love with someone who deserves your heart. Not someone who plays with it.
  91. If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that. Don’t take her for granted.
  92. Read more of these pearls of wisdom about relationships in my e-book
    Love Smart with Your Heart” – click here for your e-book now to be downloaded to your computer or ipad to read.
  93. If you have a good guyfriend, don’t make him pay for the mistakes that other men made.
  94. Don’t give someone all of your time if they’re only gonna give you half of theirs.
  95. If someone does you wrong, keep in mind that everybody makes mistakes. Forgive and forget. No one wants to be around someone who constantly makes them feel guilty.
  96. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
  97. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
  98. Some people come into your life as blessings and some come into your life as lessons.
  99. You may fall in love with some one’s personality but it’s their character you really live with.
  100. Wonderful, healthy and lasting relationships are possible. Don’t give up.

These pearls of wisdom about relationships are excerpts from the book “Love Smart With Your Heart” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

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40 Ideas to Help Others

1.       Plant a tree to help the planet.
2.       Rescue a pet.
3.       Volunteer as a teacher’s assistant.
4.       Donate sturdy shoes, thick socks and winter coats.
5.       Give warm biscuits to people living on the street.
6.       Start a food drive with your family and friends.
7.       Donate blood, plasma, and/or platelets.
8.       Join or create a support group.
9.       Console someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.
10.     Help someone find a job.
11.     Help clean or cover-up graffiti.
12.     Volunteer as Santa or an elf.
13.     Read books to children at your local library or bookstore.
14.     Bring your pet to visit the elderly or disabled.
15.     Donate books to the library.
16.     Contact a homeless shelter to see what assistance you can provide.
17.     Volunteer to comfort sick people in the hospital.
giving back

18.   Smile and speak to people you don’t know.
19.   Forgive someone you’ve held a grudge against.
20.   “Adopt” a senior citizen to visit at a nursing home.
21.   Say “I love you” more often.
22.   Use canvas grocery bags instead of paper or plastic.

23.   Offer to babysit for friends so they can enjoy a break.

24.   Be kind to someone who makes kindness difficult.
25.   Help a senior citizen with household chores and errands.
26.   Recycle.
27.   Send E-Cards to friends just because.
28.   Bake homemade cookies for local volunteers or service workers.
29.   Sign up to be an organ donor.
30.   Switch to natural cleaning products.
31.   Teach love and respect to your children by example.
32.   Use a water canteen instead of purchasing bottled water.
33.   Send Get Well balloons to a children’s hospital.
34.   Acknowledge and respect the homeless, even if you have no money to give.
35.   Be a sounding board for someone who needs to vent.
36.   Send a letter or care package to a soldier.
37.   Help an illiterate adult learn to read.
38.   Hug as many people as you can each day.
39.   Write a Thank You card to someone who touched your life in some way.
40.   Encourage young people to help out in their community instead.