Confessions from a Wife

confessions from a wifeIn the earlier days of my marriage I focused more on my husband’s flaws. My parents divorced when I was seven(7) years old. My mother’s second marriage was troubled also so I never had a real model of how a husband should take care of his wife. My Mother, Grandmother and significant mentors that could teach me how to grow as a wise wife and mother passed away early in my marriage. As a younger wife I didn’t realize the inner qualities were so much more important than the looks, sweet talk, hot sex, gifts, etc.  My husband John has proven to me how a real husband should treat his wife. Once I stopped focusing on the flaws, I began to see how favored I am to have a husband who is stable, honest, unselfish, dependable and always has my back.  I’m thankful to God for showing me how I needed to change me instead of trying to change him.  He is not perfect and neither am I.  We both made our share of mistakes.  But I’m so grateful I really “see” his character. He never complains. He loves our sons. He doesn’t easily stress or worry. I’ve seen the good, bad and the ugly in men. I’ve seen the unfaithful, the lazy, the selfish, the prayer and the player, the deceiver, the hard worker, the provider, the priest, the protector, the immature and my awesome family that I love so muchthe mature all around me.  I thank God that my heart and eyes see his character and the treasure I have in my husband. He doesn’t like too much attention or accolades. But I feel so compelled after seeing him tirelessly press, provide, care, sacrifice, serve and believe in me and my sons day after day, year after year (43), without complaining or hesitation. In spite of my mistakes and lack of understanding, wisdom and wife-mentoring, I can truly say, “God has smiled on me and our marriage to see better days.

I now choose peace instead seeking a perfect marriage.  It took too long for me to figure out his love language and let go of my unrealistic fantasies informed by movies, TV, magazines and the music from the Whispers, Jeffrey Osborne, Will Downing, etc. God’s grace, provision, guidance and redemptive love is reflecting in our REALationship. It’s a REALationship where we are both secure without games, mistrust, foolishness or selfishness.  In sickness and health, for richer or poorer…John has shown me how a REAL man treats his wife and family.  Because I learned to pursue my purpose and have such wonderful sisterfriends in my life, it takes the pressure off him having to make me feel complete.  That’s my job.”

Ladies I counsel and coach so many women who pass over the “good ones” because they are seeking the ones with the swag, good looks, shiny cars, big wallets, position, titles, power and sweet talk. Take it from me…don’t miss your good thing by only looking at the external and overlooking his character. So many women will settle for the one who will show them a good time in bed, in Vegas, at the club, or concert but he is not there for them when the holidays or hard times happen. This kind of man reminds me of Cherelle’s popular song…he just wants to be your “Saturday Love , never on Sunday, Monday’s too soon, Tuesday and Wednesday just won’t do, Thursday and Friday, we can begin.

If you can’t find him…if he doesn’t answer the phone…if he is abusive emotionally or physically…if he doesn’t come home…if he is selfish…if he doesn’t respect you and your children…STOP in the name of love. I see far too many women lacking in their self-esteem, relationship IQ, patience, faith and wisdom.

Now I play the role of elder and mentor to women because I believe in being transparent, available, honest and dedicated to empower other women to avoid some of the choices I made and learn how to love smart with their heart. ~ The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor, author of “Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain With You”


     Ask Seek Knock – The Power of Asking

ask seek knock     What do you need?  Do you need help caregiving for a loved one?  Do you need to ask for job or close a sale?  Do you need help with your studies, web site or housework?  Do you need support in achieving a goal or a life coach?  Do you need a ride to the airport, your job, church, class or doctor’s visit?  Do you need parenting support or find a good lawyer, dentist or mechanic?  Do you need to ask for help in building your business or ministry?  Do you need to ask for a raise, a loan, an extension, scholarship, ticket to the game or concert?   Do you want to overcome an abusive relationship or ask to be apart of the team, choir, road trip or panel of authors?  Do you want a promotion or inform your mate that you want to select the next movie, restaurant, or vacation spot?  Do you want someone to stop disrespecting your dreams, talent, space, body, time, or money?
    There are many reasons why people are afraid to ask for what they want or need…
1. pride or shame
2. low self-esteem
3. fear of rejection
4. ignorance, lack of awareness
5. lack of faith
6. superwo(man) syndrome – I can do it myself
7. not specific, uncertain and poor communication skills
I write the year in the front page of the books I purchase.  This morning as I pondered what my topic would be today, my eyes fell on a book I bought and read in 1996 The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.  The book warned readers that we pay a price when we don’t ask for what we want.  This book told story of how the University of Chicago received a grant from Mrs. Fields (Marshall Fields Department store fame and fortune).  The administration at Northwestern University was shocked to learn that she donated a million dollars to the University of Chicago.  How could this be?  Mrs. Fields lived in Evanston, Illinois the same place where Northwestern University is located and she had been a supporter in the past.  When the university officials called Mrs. Fields to discover why she had given the money to the University of Chicago rather than to them, she replied, “The people at the University of Chicago asked.  You didn’t.”
ask seek knock

     What is stopping you from asking, seeking and knocking on doors of  opportunities?       Sure, you may not get what you want the first time.  Don’t stop there.  Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking.  

Keep the main thing…the MAIN THING.  

     Clarify your expectations.  The video below is a humorous and good example of the importance of being 

clear and specific when you are making a request of someone.   The more clear and specific you are …the more you will increase your chances of success.

by Jewel Diamond Taylor,

Be Not Weary

Galatians 6:9

      “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Gal 6:9

Sometimes fear sounds louder than your faith. You may think God has been silent, deaf or blind to your situation.  You need wisdom and direction for the days ahead.  Even when it seems that there is no place to stand where you can feel sure and stable, and when the world seems to be crumbling around you,  rest in the assurance that the great I AM is with you.

 Your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard, nor has your mind begun to conceive what the great I AM is able to do for those who believe. (1 Cor 2:9)

Listen for the still small voice of the Divine, and you will hear God speak and restore you. Your steps will be guided.  New doors and opportunities are opening up for you.  You must rise above the circumstances that have created a place of despair in your heart.

Every word you speak…every step you take…every thought you think and good deed you do…is a prayer.  Cheer up, get up, think up and do not give up!

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

One-on-One Coaching/Mentoring with Jewel Diamond Taylor

One of the reasons I’m passionate and good at life coaching is because we need people to help us SEE what is not obvious to us. Life coaching is objective. Your perception of your situation and possibilities are subjective. Sometimes you are too close to your “story”, your pain, your old way of thinking, low self-worth, your anger or your impatience that you don’t SEE the obvious right in front of you. My style and expertise in life coaching empowers women to SEE more than the obvious. Do you SEE all the squares below? The answer is obvious to some and NOT to others. We all have blind spots and that is why personal life coaching/counseling can be so powerful and heart opening.

how many squares

“My particular style of counseling/mentoring/coaching offers;

. relief from isolation, procrastination, self-defeating behavior and frustration

. release off your brakes

. recognition of your gifts

. re-energizes your focus, confidence and purpose and

. reboots you into positive action.

Encouragement and accountability helps you to engage and trust your own possibilities, power and potential. Sometimes you are unable to see your own blind spots or your possibilities.

Some of the deepest longing in you is the voice of your purpose and gift. It calls you to follow a path of action, courage, integrity and humility. Call me 323.964.1736 to set up your one-on-one coaching with me (via Skype or phone)  or email” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

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