ReEvaluate Your Relationships

evaluateYou know it’s time re-evaluate and sometimes separate from people in your life…

 . When the people around you question your assignment and they are jealous, insecure, instigate drama and can’t celebrate your success.

 . When the people around you shake your ladder of success instead of holding it for you.

. When they blow things out of proportion, exaggerate and dramatize every situation.

 .  When your friends become territorial and jealous of your mate, children, friends or your personal drive for success.

. When you have a “high maintenance” friendship (e.g. too needy, requires too much time, attention, compliments and reassurance because they are easily offended, they have no boundaries, they need you to co-sign all of their drama, gossip and poor decisions.)

 . When they smile in your face while trying to take your place.

. If they rather talk about your past instead of your possibilities.

. When they help you decorate for your pity party instead of encouraging you to get up.

. When their drama filled/toxic relationship is influencing your marriage/relationship.

.  When small thinking people try to speak fear into your big faith.

. When they think like a chicken and stay on the ground floor but you think like an eagle and you are ready to soar.  It’s time to re-evaluate or separate from people they don’t want to see you fly and try to pull you down from the sky.

 Your associations determine your destination.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, http://www.DoNotGiveUp.net

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Frozen

     frozen in fear
      A childhood memory, hurt, mistake, loss or disappointment can become so frozen in your mind that it becomes a huge blockage to your joy, peace, loving relationships, healing and success.
     I remember  hearing some mean and harsh words from a family member which caught me off guard.  The words hurt like a bullet in my heart.  I was in shock.  I was hurt.  I was frozen for days.  Then I remembered something I learned.  An emotional wound has the power to hurt like a physical wound.   Our brain is hard wired to remember the negative interactions more than the positive ones.  So if we keep remembering, ruminating and rehearsing in our minds the hurt, financial struggle, messy divorce,  hurt, rape, abuse, betrayal, car accident, social rejection or argument …it’s like the wound is happening all over again.  We give the negative more power and a stronghold on our mind, heart and soul.  I had to stop rehearsing in mind my default thinking and that hurtful conversation.
     My objective in speaking, teaching and coaching others is to help them experience an epiphany of awareness.  It’s that aha! moment of connecting the dots to realize your self-destructive patterns and erroneous thinking, stronghold, e.g.
.   Are you overeating to comfort your pain of loss, rape, betrayal, divorce or abuse?  No wonder dieting doesn’t work.  Until you can reconcile your past, the yo-yo weight and endless diet crazes will frustrate you.  You may feel unworthy, ugly, unwanted or unable to handle the attention of sexual flirtations if your healthy body emerged.  It’s time to thaw out those frozen feelings.
. Staying in a fruitless and futile relationship, job, organization or church could be a sign you suffer from people pleasing.  Abuse, dysfunction, secrets and guilt can cause you to be frozen and paralyzed suffering in fear and little or no faith or hope.
     Fear sells!  Abusers, manipulators and even advertisers use fear to keep people frozen or to buy their products or buy their lies.  If you believe in scarcity, you will remain stuck.  If a manipulator or messages from society have filled your head with fear, lies and doubt, you will become frozen.  Faith and trust in the Lord brings liberty and abundance.   It’s time to thaw out those frozen feelings of fear.
     If you have internalized shame, betrayal, abandonment, guilt or fear, you become wired for; alcohol, drugs, risk-taking behavior, procrastination, overspending, overeating, gambling, obsession, perfectionism, zoning out (disassociation), controlling, drama, anger, exhausting combat behavior and addictive relationships.
    A frightening experience can leave a tattoo on your soul.  It can freeze your faith, self-esteem, joy and sense of hope.  In order to thaw out those frozen bad feelings and restore your joy, it takes repetition.  If you have my CDs and books, read them again and again.  Read your Bible and other spiritual materials again and again.  Re-visit your notes and journals.  Repetition rewires your thinking.  Your new thinking changes your behavior.  New behavior produces new outcomes.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr.