You Cannot Change People


paint people change     “It’s our ego, fears, values, personality and desires that cause us to want to change people.  Because we can’t change people and make them think, live, love, give or behave the way we desire…it can become a big source of your stress.
When you spiritually and emotionally mature, inner peace happens because your expectations or demands from your spouse, family, friends or groups, church, or job diminishes. Maturity teaches you not to take offense or praise too seriously.
People cannot give you what they usually CANNOT give, DON’T KNOW HOW to give or DON’T WANT to give. Unrealistic expectations and assumptions are a setup for resentment, anger and a reactionary mindset 
Pain, loss and suffering invites you to learn that you cannot control, explain, fix, change or understand all things and all people. You can pray for your children, parents, friends your “ex” or your boss, but you can’t change them.  You lead by example, but you can’t change them.  You can accept them or draw boundaries, but you can’t change them.
     We get frustrated with other people, because they don’t act the way we want them to act. Maybe it’s our kids, our spouse, in-laws, our coworker or boss, maybe it’s our mom or best friend. But we have to realize that they are acting according to their personality, according to what they feel is right, and they are not going to do what we want all of the time. Peace and maturity comes from accepting that we can’t control or change people. It’s not easy, but we can learn to communicate and adapt.  Yes, it takes practice, especially when they are family or people you work with daily.  Here are 7 things to think about…

1.  Sometimes people don’t change.  Their mask just falls off.
2.  You can’t change people.  You can lead them with guidance, love and example.
3.  Consider how hard it is for you to change and you’ll soon realize how exhausting it is to try to
change others.
4.  Everyone wants the gift of acceptance.
5.  Change is always met with resistance.
6.  You cannot change the people in your life. But you can change the kind of people you choose to
be around.

7.  Learn to have boundaries for the people who create drama, chaos, pain or conflict with your values, goals, personality and lifestyle.”

Jewel Diamond Taylor, Conference motivational speaker, life coach, emotional wellness educator, author and Founder of Women on the Grow…read more on her popular web sites http://www.DoNotGiveUp.net and http://www.JewelDiamondTaylor.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s