Jewel’s book “Thank You Lord I Don’t Look Like What I Have Been Through”

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EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK

Helplessly watching my son fade away in pain from cancer so quickly, I know we were all in a battle to save his life. We were stressed, weary, in shock, sad and felt helpless and disoriented. These are the same symptoms that describe what military soldiers feel when they return home from battle, especially when the events felt unpredictable and uncontrollable. Their anxiety is called Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I don’t look like what I have been through.  Because of God’s grace I have “post-traumatic strength.”

The amazing gift of grace that I have experienced and want to share with you is that…even though I went through the most stressful and painful battle in my life (my son dying from cancer), I have not experienced post-traumatic stress. God has given me post-traumatic strength! I am resilient. I’ve been able to remain productive through my tears. Yes, there are overwhelming moments of feeling empty, nauseous, sad or bewildered… but I’m still standing. My faith was not robbed. I realized that the Lord can be with us where family and friends cannot. When you have grown in God’s grace through a spiritual battle you receive the gift of spiritual transformation. You begin to realize bad things do happen to good people. We will suffer in life. Strength comes from realizing you don’t have to suffer from your suffering. My spiritual transformation and feeling raw in my vulnerability revealed some insights which gave me strength instead of stress.

Through the bitter and sweet, the joy and pain, the bad and the good… we must learn how to ACTIVATE our faith in and out of season. We must learn how to MOTIVATE ourselves so the enemy does not overtake our gratitude, joy, health, peace, faith, hope, praise and trust in God. We must learn how CELEBRATE each day with thanksgiving, love, service to mankind and forgiveness. ”
Each time that I’ve been stretched to grow beyond my comfort zone, God was there. Each time I was stretched; I tapped into my power of creative problem solving, my flexibility, my sense of humor, my intelligence, my ability to let go, my inner strength and yes, stretched to give, be and do more than I ever knew was possible. I don’t look like what I have been through. And you don’t have to look like the abuse, dysfunction, grief, stress, sickness, struggle or heartache you have been through.

Life circumstances may be pressing you right now. Are you going to allow your challenges to stop you, stress you, strengthen you or stretch you?

Life circumstances may be pressing you right now. Are you going to allow your challenges to stop you, stress you, strengthen you or stretch you?
Miracles happen every day. Don’t let the spirit of defeat, depression and disappointment rob you of the wonder, blessings, favor, love and supernatural breakthroughs God can bring. God has given us the divine power to demolish strongholds. He is Baal-Perazim. He is the God of Breakthroughs. He wants to see us free. He wants to see us victorious, but we have to “grow” through the process.

I have been a Life Coach to hundreds of women over the years. I have heard painful stories of dysfunction, divorce, debt, disappointments and dreams deferred. Some of their stories sounded like mine. So many women, including myself, became burned out and had to WAKE UP to sadly realize we have been; asleep… living on auto-pilot… sleep walking through love-less marriages… struggling with child-rearing… grieving the loss of a parent child or friend… being silent suffers never speaking up… settling for a part-time relationship… tolerating selfish friends/relatives… walking on eggshells people-pleasing and just getting by hoping our man would change, our job would get better or our lives would just magically get better. Waking up and recovering from an emotional hangover is bitter and sweet. You can feel shocked and ashamed. But you also will feel free and finally exhale. You begin to breathe new oxygen. You begin to create a new normal for yourself.

Surfers Teaching Life Lessons

 “Lord speak to my heart. Tranquilize my soul. Let your balm heal my grief. I inhale your peace and exhale my stress. Renew my mind. Wash away my fears and tears. I want to learn the secret of the surfers who balance themselves and ride out the high waves. Instead of fighting the unavoidable strength and immensity of the ocean, through practice, resiliency and determination they learn to stand and balance themselves. Let me feel your rhythm Holy Spirit and experience the mystery and beauty of your creation.” ~ I AM a “Life Surfer” Jewel Diamond Taylor
take me to the ocean 2

I have never surfed in my life. But when I see the surfers waiting patiently for the right wave, I learn about patience. When I see them crash and get back on the board again, time after time, I learn about resiliency and perseverance. When I see them learn how to balance the huge waves, I am reminded to be strong. When I see them fluid and not resisting the strength of the waves, I’m reminded that I am not in control. Resisting what is happening is foolish. The master surfers don’t fight and resist the giant waves. The waves can be dangerous, scary, unpredictable, beautiful and deadly. It takes courage to ride a wave. They learn how waves work, where to look, where to sit on their board, how to position themselves, and sense when they should move in because the tide is changing. They don’t fight the force of nature. The big waves of life can destroy and swallow you or you can learn to ride the waves. Surfers don’t suffer from the illusion of control. They learn to relax and ride out the wave.
The ocean can be calm, rough, immense, scary, chaotic and beautiful. There is another whole world beneath. The world is covered with more ocean than land. I am continually intrigued and attracted to the message of the ocean and it’s surfers. I feel calm and renewed when I see the ocean.
I AM a “life surfer.” I am learning to ride out the tough times. I am learning to work on more balance. My courage is getting stronger to face the “waves” (e.g. loss, hurt, disappointment, grief, setbacks and frustration). I am not in control when the waves come. However, I am learning how to sit on my board and position myself to ride out the wave. I will stand even when it feels unsure, awkward and scary. I will plant my feet firmly in my faith and life purpose. I am patient and watch for the right wave (opportunity) to carry me to my destination. I will go out to the shore and see the beauty of life. I will breathe in God’s peace.

How to Get Relief from Emotional Pain

numbing“We don’t like to feel pain. That is why pain killers, alcoholism, drug abuse, excessive eating, excessive spending, excessive busyness or isolation ruins a lot of lives. Numbing the pain doesn’t make it go away. Attempts to numb any pain is a temporary escape and band aid. People in emotional pain from loss, trauma, or loneliness can become reckless in their life choices by choosing or staying in toxic relationships, neglecting important things like paying their bills, showing up for work, neglecting their health or neglecting their family. Some people cope with their pain with denial, becoming armored, and building walls instead of bridges to connect with others. Pain is a signal that something needs our attention…something needs to be changed …something needs to be healed … something needs to be confronted or accepted.

smoke alarmPain is like a smoke alarm. If you take out the batteries because you don’t like the noise, or you never put in new batteries, your house could burn down. Don’t let your life be destroyed into ashes because you are ignoring the pain you feel in your heart, body, relationships, finances or job situation. If there is smoke, there is a fire starting. Put out the fire with action, courage and faith. Pay attention to the “alarm signals” or you will pay a heavy price.” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Interviewer: Why do you think women seek life coaching/counseling?

Jewel: I have discovered most of the women I coach/counsel have issues with their relationships, loneliness, feeling battle weary from their job, feeling isolated, experiencing too much stress/demands or too little time, money, love, support or sense of purpose.
Many of my counseling/coaching mentees are inspired to; stop procrastinating, find their voice to make key decisions, amp up their actions and confidence, deepen their faith and focus more on the real priorities that can change their lives in a positive way. They are renewed to have hope again to believe their future holds promise and possibilities.

Interviewer: Do you believe your style of mentoring/coaching/counseling supersedes the power of prayer?

Jewel: Absolutely not. What I offer only supplements and strengthens one’s personal development and spiritual faith. I believe one’s personal and spiritual strength are interwoven. It is very evident to me that the popularity of social media like Facebook and Instagram proves that people crave to be seen, heard, successful, celebrated, connected and significant. My coaching/counseling, books and my signature events gives women an opportunity to be seen, heard, understood, validated and challenged to GROW beyond their comfort zone, shame, fears and sabotaging behavior.

Interviewer: How long have you been offering your life coaching and counseling for women? Do you only coach women?

Jewel: I’m glad the popularity of life coaching has reduced the negative stigma of people seeking support and mentoring.  Long before “life coach” was even heard of and became mainstream in our culture and on TV, I was mentoring and counseling women by phone, in my retreats and my women’s life enrichment gatherings (e.g. The Enlightened Circle and now my Women on the Grow Organization). I started in 1986. Because I share my mistakes, pain, successes, stories, wisdom and experiences as a; wife, mother, sibling, author, ordained minister, self-employed speaker, life coach, columnist, media personality, author and someone who has learned to cope with the loss of both parents and my son from cancer… I believe my life journey allows me to be more relevant in connecting with women’s issues and needs. I have discovered that when a person has no hope, encouragement, faith or vision…they are more likely to return to their past unhealthy and destructive patterns of coping and living.

Interviewer: What are you planning in the near future to engage and empower women to be stronger and encouraged?

Jewel: I am known as the Self-esteem Dr. so I will be offering my “Open Heart Surgery” Relationships Clinic Saturday, July 11 in Los Angeles. I will be teaching from my book “Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain with You.” In August I will continue with my “Diamond Lane Mentoring Class for Women” in the Los Angeles area. Every October I host a women’s retreat getaway. This year it will be in Northern Las Vegas.

Interviewer: Do you only speak in California?

Jewel: Oh no!!! Over the years I have been invited to speak all over the United States, London, Jamaica, Brazil, the Bahamas, Cancun, the Virgin Islands, St. Kitts and Turks and Caicos Islands. I’m ready to travel and bring the inspiration and encouragement around the globe. Below are the states where I have been a guest speaker over the years. My goal next is to speak and/or host a women’s retreat in Hawaii. I’m seeking any contacts in Hawaii to make that happen.
Contact me by email – Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net

my speaking map

Shift Happens

Marriage is in trouble…   Job is gone…?

Feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, left out, tired or stressed?

You’ve let your weight get out of control…

Struggling in your faith…seeking guidance?

Not enough money at the end of the month?

Friends no where to be found?

Rent just increased?   Family member critically ill?

You feel like your life has no purpose (feel old, feel unloved, slow business, no car, no joy)

Suffering from bad choices…   Are you tasting your own tears?

Shift happens quote change is happening

Click here to receive your autographed copy of “Shift Happens”

   When I have those days of stress…I work on reminding myself to not give up on my breakthrough and possibilities.  As I encourage myself…I encourage you also.  Face your challenges. Wake up, get up, stand up, speak up, lift up your head. cheer up, keep up, hook up with right people, boost up your confidence, show up for your commitments, count up your blessings, send up your prayers of gratitude for the gift of life and don’t give up!  This, too, shall pass.  Remember nothing stays the same.   Make a decision.  Take action.  Fight back with your faith.  Lift up your hands with praise and thanksgiving. Open up your mouth and take back what the enemy is trying to steal from you.  Remember sometimes the greatest enemy you will fight is within.

     Good music can be a positive mood changer.  Below is my current CD playlist that keeps me resilient, optimistic and strong.  Driving alone in my car can be very therapeutic and freeing. In my car…sometimes I scream. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I’m quiet. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes my pain is screaming, sometimes it is silent and sometimes it is serving a purpose to get my attention.  Sometimes my car becomes my classroom as I listen to inspirational and educational CDs. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I sing along with these songs in my car to shake off the garment of stress and put on my garment of praise and victory.

Jewel

Gloria Gaynor, “I will survive.”

Whitney Houston, “Step by Step.”

James Brown, “Get Up Off That Thing”  “I Feel Good”

Kirk Franklin, “I Smile.”

Bob Marley, “Get up, Stand up.”

The Black Eyes Peas, “Let’s Get it Started in Here.”

Rev. James Cleveland, “Lord Help Me to Hold Out”

Yolanda Adams, “Never Give Up”, “Hold On”

Hezekiah Walker, “Faithful is Our God”

Vangelis, “Chariots of Fire”

 Jonathan Nelson, “My Name is Victory”

Bill Withers, “Lovely Day”

Mary Mary, “Go Get It”

Marvin Sapp, “I Win”

      If you want to excel in life, self motivation is essential. You must know how to motivate yourself. You must be able to keep your spirit high no matter how discouraging a situation is.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

shift happens

I’m So Proud of My Heart

broken heart safety pin

I’m so proud of my heart.
There were times my heart couldn’t breathe.
It has been; played, hurt, naïve, deceived and dishonest, bruised,
cheated out of affection, broken from grief, in denial, disappointed, disrespected,
exhausted from caring too much, heavy with worry and shame, wanted to stop
beating and felt alone.
Yet, my heart has not turned to stone.
It still works! It is resilient. It is not cold.
It is warm with life, hope, love and gratitude.
It is on fire to be one of God’s vessels to pour
out love, encouragement and peace.
I love my heart. It is wiser, stronger and better … not bitter.
by Jewel Diamond Taylor, DoNotGiveUp.net