- Pray for discernment to know when someone is fake and abusing you. A person’s words and actions should line up. The adversary/trickster can use many fiery arrows, disguises, words, and emotional traps to get you in a web of doubting yourself, abuse, lies and stress. Love should not hurt. Stay prayed up and surround yourself with healthy relationships that are drama-free.
- Learn that “no” is a complete sentence. Establish and honor your own boundaries which teaches others how to treat you.
- Recognize when you are people pleasing and stop it.
- Speak up when someone disrespects you.
- Delete the phone number or at least distance yourself from people who drain you and rob you of your peace, money, time and trust.
- Realize you can’t fix and change people. Remember Maya Angelou’s quote, “When somebody shows you who they are … believe it.” We all eat lies, empty promises and quick snacks of “fast food love” when our hearts are hungry. Guard your heart from the blurred lines of desperation, loneliness and a healthy self-esteem.
- Overcome desperation, blind spots or being naive. It’s painful to admit, but your job, church, family and friends may be taking your kindness for weakness. Be careful about discussing your finances, love life, marriage, and past blunders because unfortunately some people lacking integrity will use the information against you or try to get money from you. It’s also important to not be defensive and blind when the people who have your back are pointing out some of the blind spots you are ignoring about your relationship (especially abuse).
- Do the people around you have anger issues? Walk away from unnecessary arguments and power struggles. Choose your battles wisely.
- Practice and embrace the “serenity prayer.”
- Remember your worth and don’t compromise your self-esteem, values, voice or faith.
- Get emotionally strong and resilient so people won’t see you as a push over. Forgive yourself for the blindness that let others deceive, use and betray you. Sometimes a good heart like yours … doesn’t see the bad in others.
- Confide in your safe place of friends, peers or family member so you can release the anger, resentment and stress.
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These are lessons I had to learn the hard way. I share these 12 gems with you to strengthen your heart and emotional well-being. ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr., 323.964.1736, e-mail me- JewelMotivates@gmail.com