So I have shared this quick story from many podiums as a guest speaker. I want to share it with you now…
One day a passenger in the back seat of a taxi kept asking his taxi driver questions. His taxi driver kept jumping and looking startled every time his passenger asked him a question.
Finally, the passenger asked his driver, “Why are you so nervous?” The driver replied, “This is my first day as a taxi driver. For many years I drove a hearse car for funerals.. I’m not used to hearing voices in my car. I’m used to carrying around dead people.”
Unfortunately, there are too many people who are used to carrying “dead” things around (e.g. dead dreams, dead hope, dead faith, dead imagination, old hurts, old habits, old relationships, old beliefs, etc.). When they are offered a new opportunity, a new experience, a new relationship, a new idea, or a new way of living and thinking…it scares them. They have become accustomed to living a limited and joyless life.
I want to encourage someone today to start living with more gratitude, courage, curiosity, creativity, adventure, and grow out of any state of isolation, misery, and old stinkin’ thinkin’. Wake up, get up, try something new, go someplace new, break your routine, add some color, laughter, nature, and beauty into your day. Avoid people whose hope, joy, love, kindness, and imagination has died. You are STILL ALIVE. Live your life more fully.
Your life is NOT shaped by your circumstances. Your life is shaped by the decisions you make each day. Create some new habits and new experiences. Read Psalm 90:12 (Lord teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.)
What is the story you have been telling yourself? When you are consumed with fear, grief, disappointment, rejection, shame, worry or anger it is difficult to “see” the bigger picture. It is difficult to hear from God.
To survive…you may detach, shut down, go into denial, strive for perfectionism and live in hyperdrive to achieve, lash out to others, severely blame yourself, overeat, overspend, and define yourself by your past. You may have blind spots and cannot see hope, your future, your value or the bigger picture.
Are you cruising on auto-pilot and not really aware of the story in your head…not aware or willing to admit you have given your power away living in fear, abuse, poor health, toxic relationships, procrastination, financial stress, depression, shame, blame, resentment, burn out, loneliness, addiction or secrets?
You can learn to change how you see and interpret your past. You can learn to re-work your old narrative stories of being a victim, unworthy, powerless, useless and meaningless to find the lesson, peace, and renewal.
You can find something worthwhile, in what, at one point seemed unbearable, inconvenient, unfair, stressful or painful episodes in your life.
God can write a best seller in you. Your life story is important.
The characters in your story may be loving, mysterious, helpful, hurtful, sad, misbehave or leave you. Each one is writing pages in your book of blessing. Some of your chapters are long and some are short.
To survive an adverse childhood full of dysfunction, instability, abuse or neglect, you have unconsciously taken on the role of;
. The Helper, The Co-dependent, The Enabler, The Sad One
. The Comedian, The Goof off, The Slacker
. The Good Child, The Perfectionist, The Narcissist,
. The High Achiever, The Low Maintenance Child (the invisible ghost)
. The Truth Teller, The Defiant/Angry One, The Scapegoat/Black Sheep
. The Emotional Dumpster, The Drama Queen, The Addict
. The Lost Child, The Adjuster, The Caretaker, The Mascot
. The Silent Sufferer, The Responsible Child, The Family Hero
Discover your authentic self (e.g. the pain and joy, your unique strengths and gifts, talents, trials and triumphs, being lost and found, interests and purpose) WITHOUT the denial, anger, illusion, fantasies or creating another generation of dysfunction, pain, addictions, secrets, and brokenness.
Your past may be ugly, painful or traumatic. You have to acknowledge it but you don’t have to let it define, limit or imprison you. I help others to reframe and learn how to heal those broken places in their lives by acknowledging the truth of their past circumstances and choices. You can learn to break free from dysfunctional generational patterns.
Get self-motivated Get your own matches to get on fire to live your life of purpose, joy, truth, courage, love, peace, health and abundance. What this brief video message…you will be glad you did.”
Are you holding yourself hostage, feeling stuck, feeling ashamed or feeling unworthy because of your past?
You may have; trusted the wrong person, made poor financial choices, mistreated someone, didn’t complete your studies, had serial meaningless relationships, mismanaged your money, hold grudges, misjudged others, walked away too soon from a relationship, business or job.
You may have; a poor credit score, babies by different fathers, had a history of addiction, never learned to speak up in an abusive relationship, misused your body, ashamed of your family, been divorced several times, lied, abused or cheated on someone, or continually beat yourself up with negative self-talk about your body image or past poor choices. It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
If you can’t forgive yourself, you are doomed to live in shame. When you can’t forgive others, you live in blame. Holding grudges, shame and blame can only block your blessings. Don’t waste your power, time and energy on dead issues. Let go of the negative garbage in your life. Empty your mental trash can. Begin to write in your journal about your feelings. Working on patterns of your behavior is often more helpful than ruminating about your regrets.
As I began to think about mistakes I made in my marriage, parenting, spending habits, real estate I shouldn’t have sold, food I shouldn’t have eaten, things I shouldn’t have bought, places I shouldn’t have gone to, people I shouldn’t have trusted, things I shouldn’t have said, or opportunities and money I lost because of doubt, procrastination, fear or feeling unworthy…I knew I had to learn how to forgive myself.
Once I no longer lived in denial and had the courage to face and own up to my harmful behavior and lack of information…I was able to forgive myself. Once I knew better, I did better. Once I stopped blaming others or seeking quick fixes when my emotional buttons were being pushed…I began to see a “better me”. I began to recognize
the unrealistic expectations I had of myself and others. I learned how to repent, respect and repair
broken promises and relationships. I learned to reduce ruminating
about past mis-takes (e.g. thinking about it over and over again
). I resolved
in my mind, heart, and choices to continually grow in every area of my life. I am more aware of my habits and mindsets so I can learn from past mis-takes so I won’t repeat
them. I learned to reach out to others
to give and receive
love, compassion, and connections…which helped me to realize
I am not alone and creates accountability. Once I remembered
the mercy and grace of God in my life…wow! I knew I was the only harsh judge of myself. Rejoice
in knowing you have God’s unconditional love.
Don’t let the past rob you of your present or future. Peaceful and productive days will come as you make up your mind to only focus on thinking, speaking and acting in a positive way. Work on healing any areas in your life of shame and guilt. You must feel worthy. This clears the path for you to experience more love, more success, more breakthroughs, more blessings and more peace. Always remember prayer cannot change your past but it can change your heart.
~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, ready to speak for your conference, campus, retreat, workshop, church or workplace training, 323.964.1736
To schedule your one-on-one life coaching/mentoring session with Jewel aka “EmpowHERment Life Coach” call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com