Break this stronghold

In my coaching and counseling sessions I’m hearing a lot of conversations from women who are feeling unworthy, unhappy, depressed, and questioning their lives. Social media posts of weddings, travel vacations, books sales, events, cars, people booed-up, new homes, college graduates, entrepreneurs, marriages, proposals, weight loss, clothes, eyelashes, shoes, etc. are creating a new phenomena of toxic comparison. The pressure to perform and produce to keep up and cover up a sense of “not enoughness” is leading to relationship and marriage breakups, high debt, multiple harmful surgeries, depression, and self-esteem crash and burns.

With the overexposure of social media and people posting their managed image and often exaggerated posts…we are seeing a dramatic increase of people feeling inadequate, stressed, and in high-gear driven to have more and do more.

One must ask these questions. 1) Is what I’m seeing authentic and real? 2) If it is, why am I unable to be happy for other people’s success? 3) Am I realizing I am insecure and need to work on my personal growth? 4) Do I live in fear, lack, and jealousy? 5) Am I practicing good habits of productivity or procrastination? 6) Am I more concerned about what other people think and strive for perfection instead of progress? 7) If what I am coveting is real, am I willing to sacrifice, work, study, and cope with the responsibility that comes with any new level of well-being, satisfaction, success? Social media tends to show the success and finish line… but not show the back story… the mess, the struggle, the heart ache, losses, the setbacks and attacks, the sacrifice, the bumps, bruises, and the obstacles that were behind the posted photos.

The feelings of comparison is spreading like a cancer and steals a person’s peace, gratitude, contentment, joy, and self-esteem.

Counselling

It will not be easy…but it is possible

Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive tough times and remain silent. Some people deal with unimaginable pain in their own life.

So, the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, or feel your life is inadequate compared to their life…remember you may not be able to endure their experience.  You may not know the cost of their alabaster box. So, while someone sits before you looking calm like an ocean on a sunny day, think about this.  The ocean is vast and wide.  One part of the ocean can be calm while another part of the ocean could be experiencing a colossal storm. It’s happening on the same ocean.

The voice of shame and low self-esteem say, “I’m not good enough.” “Who do you think you are?” I’m not worth it.” “I’m not lovable, beautiful, smart, good, capable, etc.”

Are you frustrated and feel your progress of healing from a broken relationship, financial setback, job loss, trauma, or illness, depression, or setback in your life is not happening fast enough? Your breakthrough and healing are NOT linear.  There will be ups and downs. In order to heal, you have to become comfortable facing your uncomfortable reality.  Don’t depress your feelings, express your feelings. Let the feelings come. Don’t run, hide, deny, numb, or minimize your feelings.  There will be moments of feeling stagnant and triggers that may cause you to feel defeated or fearful.

The support I offer through my one-on-one sessions and books are curated to inspire others to find the hope, courage, will, and strength to discover the depths of their faith, courage, and resiliency they never knew they possess. 

I pray you learn to create a sanctuary within yourself, not a prison.  Create inside yourself a place, a knowing, a safe  place where the pain, anger, grief, and world news cannot disturb your peace.
It will not be easy, but it is possible. You can’t be rushed, forced, or manipulated to start or stay with it.
Your mind can come up with a lot of ways to protect you (e.g. blame, avoidance, denial, feeling helpless, ashamed and guilty, fake smiles, minimization, isolation, busyness, suppress or medicate your feelings with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, helping others). 

You have to be ready and hopeful. You must feel worthy of healing. One day you will thank yourself for not giving up. Ready, set, grow!  Stay in the light. – Jewel Diamond Taylor

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“Jewel my session with you today helped me tremendously to cope in a more productive way with the harassment and racism I am experiencing on my job. I have been so angry, stressed, and fearful of losing my job. You helped me to see how to manage my emotions, guard my heart and self-worth, and to see how the game of micro-aggressions were trying to push my buttons and give them justification to fire me. With each session you have been empowering me to find my voice and stand my ground.” – K. A., Los Angeles, CA

Good morning Jewel,

On behalf of the Administrative Professionals Day planning committee, thank you for speaking during our 23nd annual FDIC Administrative Professional Day Program. We appreciated your encouraging words and advice on how to protect our mental health and adjust to change in a constantly changing world. We have received lots of great feedback and people are asking for the recording to watch it again! Again thank you for speaking at the 2021 Administrative Professionals Day Program. We truly appreciate it.

Human Resources Branch/ DOA Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Arlington, VA

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Click this link and choose a topic from over 200 podcasts https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1739379.rss

Updates April 18, 2021

Change is – a different way of doing

Transformation is – a different way of being

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If you have a cold, the flu, a cut, stomach ache, head ache or nausea… you probably have some of these in your medicine cabinet. But do you have the tools to deal with your emotional pain of worry, shame, childhood abuse, anger, depression, regrets, grief, disappointments, loneliness, feeling unworthy, fears, doubts, low self-esteem, procrastination or feeling stressed?
When we are hurt physically in our bodies…we don’t hesitate to seek relief. But why do we ignore our emotional pain (mind/heart)?
Fear of being judged and ridiculed by your family, friends, church, job, and society can make feel shame…which only complicates and prolongs your ability to heal and thrive.
Did you realize your emotional pain undiagnosed, not treated, denied, suppressed, or ignored could be the cause of your unhappiness, sickness, broken relationships, addictions, weight gain, insomnia, and joyless living? What’s in your “wellness cabinet?” What emotional wounds do you have?

  1. Cuts, nausea, depression and headaches from caused by rejection and heart ache.
  2. The relationship muscle weakness of loneliness. The longer you go without relating closely to others, the more difficult it becomes to reestablish contact with new people, or even get back in touch with the old friends you’ve drifted away from.
  3. Broken bones of loss and trauma can shatter and destroy your life, relationships, career, and health. Your post traumatic stress untreated can cause you to make assumptions about the world and feel that it’s not as safe a place as you once thought. I will continue sharing more of my list 7 points about this message of emotional healing next week in my Master Class “The Filling Station” Sunday, April 25, 3:00 PM (Pacific)…6 PM (Eastern)
    Today, Sunday, April 18, my topic is “The 12 Seats in God’s Waiting Room” to register, email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Upcoming speaking engagements

Wednesday, February 21 – FDIC Administrative Professional Day

Saturday, May 1 – Wellness Group 20th Annual Virtual Healthy Lifestyle Forum – Free – register at https://twg20thannualhealthylifestyleforum.eventbrite.com

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Saturday, June 5 – Being About My Sister’s Business, Azure Hotel and Suites, Ontario, CA

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Remember to listen to my popular podcast. Additional audios are added frequently. Thank you for listening, supporting, and sharing this link https://jewelspodcasts.buzzsprout.com

To schedule your one-on-one counseling or coaching by phone or video, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

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The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound.

Sometimes you need to seek counseling and help because the wounded or stressful people in your life won’t seek counseling. What words did someone say to you that keep ruminating in your head? Did someone mock you and you began to think you were unworthy, stupid, unlovable, undesirable, ugly, or a failure? Did someone cause you to feel invisible, unheard, or crazy? Did somone think of you as their default relationship and only with you when it was convenient for them?

A wound is a wound. The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound. The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. I’m counseling a young lady now who is devastated and almost suicidal because the man she loves broke her heart, used her, took her money, and pride. She is finding it difficult to understand that the one who broke her … can’t be the one to fix her. She is caught up in a spell. Her love hangover has her doubting herself, hiding in shame, and constantly replaying in her mind the lies and disappointments. It takes time to heal and gain a new perspective and insight about yourself from being betrayed and/or abused. Taking back your power, joy, value, and your true identity is a process. You can’t change the experience from your past but you can learn to live in the now. You can learn to change the emotion attached the experience. You can smile again. You can see yourself through a lens of compassion, worthiness, victorious, beautiful, smart, strong, and resilient.

You can go without oxgen for 3 minutes. You can go without water for 3 days. You can go without food for 3 weeks. But every waking moment you are thinking, feeling, and choosing all day. Your thoughts and imagination can be digging you deeper into a pit of despair, self-pity, shame, depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem. Once you start recognizing your train of thoughts, habits, and behaviors … you can begin to observe and redirect your thoughts to create a new narrative. Positive affirmations are good…but not enough to create lasting change. Talk therapy, meditation, healthy food choices, some form of creativity, journaling, reading, and associating with people who can help you grow are prescriptions for your mental and emotional wellness. As a counselor/life coach, I have been supporting so many women on their journey of reclaiming their personal power and breaking generational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, shame, guilt, depression, dysfunction, and emotional thugs.

I talk to many people who are seriously committed to their physical fitness (e.g. the gym, counting calories, running, walking, etc.). Just know for sure, It’s also important to gain mental and emotional fitness. This is especially critical in these times as stress factors like racism, violence, increase in care giving for the elderly, and the disruption of lives and livelihood from the pandemic are happening.

My strengths in offering life coaching are from my experience as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, entrepreneur, women’s retreat leader, my studies in psychology, and being seasoned international conference speaker.

I focus on self-esteem issues, relationships, pursuing your purpose, overcoming strongholds of procrastination, fear, shame, anger, grief, and past trauma.

The sessions are by phone or video conferencing. I offer you a fresh perspective, encouragement, clarity, wisdom, non-judgment and a call to action towards your peace, self-worth, purpose and goals. My purpose is to help you build up your faith, confidence, focus, and take steps for what you want to achieve. I accomplish this by helping YOU discover what coping skills, limiting beliefs, emotional masks, or sabotaging habits you have which are hindering your growth and happiness.

Feel free to call me to ask specific questions, 323.964.1736.

I can facilitate your session with me by phone or Zoom. Listen to my recent podcast conversation with a young lady who grew up with abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic parents, a mother with mental illness, and moved over 20 times. Her youth was very disruptive, unstable, and traumatic. She shares in this podcast how she made a choice to break out of the cycle and benefited from learning from my sessions, conferences, books, counseling, and mentoring. click here

To view a list of over 100 of my podcasts to help GROW your mind click here

Some lessons are caught, taught, and some are bought

 

God has been “growing” my mind.  I have been learning some rough and beautiful life lessons.

I love being a woman on the grow!  I am learning to reflect on my past with “Kindsight”, to be compassionate, real, and patient with myself.

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with those areas in your life where you need to grow.  

remember to visit http://www.WomenOnTheGrow.org

Don’t ever wander so far away from your true self just to get close to someone else.

A SHIP is designed to take you places.  
So if your friendSHIP, partnerSHIP, or relationSHIP isn’t taking you anywhere positive and helpful…think…is it time to abandon SHIP?

Some people like to stay busy and distracted or stay in a blame/victim mentality instead of sitting still to reflect, sit with their pain, and heal.  Once you are courageous enough to live with the reality of your pain, loss, setback, heartache, regrets, or disappointments, and patterns … you will be in a position to walk the emotional path of acceptance, healing, renewal, and restoration of self-worth and faith.

Too often I hear people saying they are fighting their demons when the reality is they’re fighting and resisting the consequences of their choices.

Could it be life is inviting you to build spiritual stamina, mental health, and emotional wellness?

Until YOU heal…you will be toxic to anyone who tries to hire you, collaborate with you, befriend you, or love you.

Are you willing to examine your thoughts, patterns, relationships, choices, and emotional capacity to cope with stress?

Positive thinking and faith do not work unless you understand the roots of your beliefs and behaviors.  You can’t ignore your past conditioning, experiences, trauma, fantasies, expectations, and cultural programming. Once you accept your shadow self and all the many versions of YOU, your AWARENESS becomes your superpower to begin transforming your life.

For that someone who has the courage to speak up, armor up, and NOT return to that person or habit which is your “Egypt” (a place of bondage, i.e. addiction, shame, anger, dishonesty, debt, pride, abuse, self-harm, family secrets, or a dysfunctional relationship)… I encourage you to keep walking into your place of promise, freedom, and peace.  Stay in the light.  Getting help can help you overcome the darkness and break unhealthy patterns.

call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to reserve your one-on-one video conference with Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.

Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Speaking Calendar

March 21 – She is Well Book Launch and Virtual Summit (Maryland)

March 21 –  Sisters4SistersNetwork.org (Maryland)

March 24 Lexington Housing Authority Family Sufficiency Program virtual learning series in North Carolina

March 27 – Women with Visions, Unlimited Women’s History Month Program

March 27 – San Jose Multicultural Artist Guild Girlfriend Appreciation virtual program

March 31 – North County African American Women’s Association “The Strength of a Woman” Program

April 21 – FDIC Admin. Professionals Program

May 1 – 20th Annual Breast and Whole Health Empowerment Forum

Every Sunday Jewel Diamond Taylor’s webinar “The Filling Station”, 3 pm (Pacific)

Call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to inquire about these engagements or availability for your event, program, conference, retreat, workshop, etc.

Click the link below to begin receiving Jewel Diamond Taylor’s inspirational on-line newsletter and updates.

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A link will be sent to your text number for each new issue.

Sunday Filling Station – Romans 15:13

Do you feel like you are under attack?
Do you feel blocked instead of blessed?
Do you know the winning ways of spiritual warfare?
Do you know how to fight the exhaustion, fear, confusion, doubt, and emotional traps?
Are you isolating, defeated, sick, exhausted, angry, or fearful all the time?

“Master…help them to see their way out, become stronger and make it through. I pray, your gentle spirit rains down to refresh those who are weary. For You, alone, are the great comforter and our liberator from the prison of hopelessness. Remind them you correct and protect, guide, and provide. I give thanks in advance for their ability to breathe again, believe in your promises, refill their cup of faith, and experience their breakthrough.

“May the God of hope FILL you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ` Romans 15:13

Register now for my Emotional/Spiritual Wellness weekly “FILLing Station” experience via zoom.

For 9 months every Sunday, I have been pouring into women’s lives insights to gain clarity, faith, peace, courage, and steps to heal and strengthen their mind, body, and spirit.
Women on the Grow tribe sisters $15 per person  – click here
General registration $21 per person – click here
Include your email address with payment and the link and password be forwarded to you after your registration has been received.

For any questions, text 310.526.2552 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com 

EVERY SUNDAY “The Filling Station”

Meet and Greet
2:30 – 3:00 pm (Pacific)
5:30 – 6:00 pm (Eastern)
Message Begins
3:00 PM (Pacific) 6:00 PM (Eastern)
www.JewelDiamondTaylor.com
www.WomenOnTheGrow.org

“The Filling Station is the best way to describe this virtual webinar. Every week I look forward to “Filling Myself” spiritually and emotionally. I’m so grateful to have pulled into this station of my life to get the tools necessary for my life’s journey. Thank you Women on the Grow. Let’s keep growing together for His glory!” – Valerie Vaultz

“The Filling Station has ministered to me in so many circumstances in my life. I am evolving every week. I leave the Filling Station feeling filled up with a new attitude and gratitude for Jewel Diamond Taylor’s inspirational and educational message.” – Diane Hale
 
“I’ve been attending Jewel’s 💞 Filling Station on Sundays for 8 months now. She has shared so much wisdom on relationships, divorce, grief, to name a few. It’s an amazing fellowship with everyone. For me at first, a broken relationship, I was stuck from a three year break Up. She gave me tools to find my joy again. Jewel and everyone are so transparent , encouraging, and loving. I’m so thankful to be apart of the group. Thanks Jewel 💞 AMEN” –
Patricia Jacobs
 
“I’m co-signing too! The Filling Station has made such a huge difference in my life also! Thank you Jewel and all the ladies!💜“- Tracy Edmonson

6 TYPES OF BOUNDARIES to KEEP YOUR PEACE OF MIND AND MONEY

Watch out for the “boundary bullies”.

At first, you may feel selfish, embarrassed, stress, or mean when you start to have boundaries.  It will take time and determination.  Protect your self-esteem, time, body, energy, goals, money, and peace of mind.  One day you will thank yourself for finding your voice and value.
1. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I am not comfortable talking about my; past, weight, lifestyle, grief, decisions, surgery,  emotional pain, recent conflict,  job, etc. right now.
b. (In the case of avoiding drama, conflict, or awkwardness…”I will not be able to attend, but thank you for asking me.”)
c. I do not deserve to be treated or talked to like that.
d. Gossip, secrets, drama, trash talk and intense conversations are emotional dumping. I am not your dumping ground.
2. TIME BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)

a. I can’t help you right now. I need to stay on schedule and focus. I have some commitments to keep. Is Thursday a good time for you?

b. If you are going to be late, text or call me.

c. I would love to attend, but I have a prior commitment I want to honor.

3. PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say
a. If you need to use my things, please ask first.
b. I feel disrespected and uncomfortable, you can’t touch me there.
c. Thank you, but I am uncomfortable hugging or shaking hands.  I’m not ready for intimacy.
4. MONEY BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. Because of my money priorities and obligations, I cannot answer your request. I will be praying with you that your needs will be met.

b. If I do choose to help, it is a loan and not a gift.
c. I do not discuss my income with others. I will not ask about yours.

5. RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. My relationship with my spouse, children, boo, ex, or parents are not open for discussion.

b. I know you care, but it is my personal business.

6. TOPIC BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I don’t discuss my politics, religion, or personal business here.
b. I don’t think that was funny or appropriate.
written by Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.

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I appreciate Jewel’s personal and spiritual development messages and wish to send a donation
to her CashApp… $gratefulJDT or click this link paypal
To hear the thought for the day call.  310.526.2552
Call 323.964.1736 or email – Jewelmotivates@gmail.com to schedule one-on-one coaching/counseling by phone or zoom.

Momma didn’t believe me

RECENT COUNSELING SESSION WITH

THE SELF-ESTEEM DR.

CALLER: Jewel I am used to giving and showing up for others but I find it difficult to let others in and see my hurts.
JEWEL: Unfortunately, many women like you are used to being the giver and ignoring their own needs. How are you feeling? What shall we focus on today?
CALLER: I feel like I am not enough in so many areas in my life.
JEWEL: Did something happen to you recently or in your past that caused you to feel this way?
CALLER: When I was a child I was sexually molested. I told my mother but she didn’t believe me. I was dismissed.
JEWEL: No wonder you feel invisible and lack trust in others. Your inner child adapted to her trauma, betrayal, and feeling unheard by shutting down and not feel worthy of asking for help…especially when you felt unprotected by the main person you thought would help you and she didn’t. So why would you expect total strangers to help you?
CALLER: I tried so many ways to earn her love and they never seemed to be enough. I have college degrees and other achievements and I still felt like I was never good enough. She was a drama queen and my siblings and I were like a stage for her performances. Later as an adult, she did apologize for not being the best parent when I was a child. I do forgive her.
JEWEL: In spite of your “gold stars” you became a people pleaser and silent sufferer. You buried your hurts alive and now they are surfacing because you need to transform your thinking and re-parent yourself. You’re not alone in becoming an adult craving your mother’s love and attention to no avail. As you pour your time, money, energy, achievements, hopes, and tears into someone who is also hurting, it is like pouring into a bucket that has a hole. You can never do enough to fill or satisfy her. Many of us suffer from multigenerational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, separation anxiety, etc. It didn’t start with you. It started with your mother, her mother, and her mother and so on. We have some work to do and I am grateful and honored you trust me, my experience, and my dedication to empower my sisters.

To reserve your one-on-one time with Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr.

call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

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Are you feeling the pressures of life?

Remember to save the date for this Sunday.  I continue to offer my weekly webinar in my signature zoom room.

For 8 months now, the ladies attending have experienced new levels of understanding about ; their gifts, breaking strongholds, creating success habits, healing issues of shame, worry, doubt, procrastination, and unhealthy relationships, making progress with their goals and life purpose, gaining insight about past pain, trauma, and childhoood experiences which keeps them living in fear, low self-esteem, and cycles of arrested development.  The “Filling Station (Romans 15:13)” has created a space for women to avoid burnout and refill their mind, heart and soul with hope and encouragement.  They are feeling seen, heard, and connected to others seeking empowerment and ways to strengthen their faith and personal development.  This experience is helpful, healing, and a positive resource for you to be able to endure this historic pandemic.  YOU are invited to be with us.

Meet and greet  2:30 pm Pacific/ 5:30 pm Eastern
The webinar begins 3:00 pm Pacific/ 6:00 pm Eastern
Once you register, the link and password will be sent to your email address.

Only $21 per person CashAppm- $GratefulJDT or

paypal.me/JewelDiamondTaylor

————————————————————————————————
I am seeking stories from my subscribers to highlight in my newsletter.
I’m interested in sharing with my audience your story of resiliency or how you are pivoting and
re-imagining your life during this historic pandemic.
Please submit your photo, contact info, and brief summary of your story to my
email addressJewelMotivates@gmail.com
—————-keep scrolling————
“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. “
Cicely Tyson
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” —Rosa Parks
“We all have dreams.  In order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” ~ Jesse Owens, world record setting Olympic athlete
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click the arrow  to watch a short video message

Here is a great lesson to learn. If you squeeze a lemon, what comes out? Lemon juice right! Not apple juice, cranberry juice, or orange juice.
The pressure on the outside releases only what’s inside.
If you have fear, doubt, and anger on the inside of you…then when life brings you stress and pressure…the only thing that comes out is fear, worry, doubt, and anger.
“Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

The more one watches or listens to rubbish on TV, gossip, music, movies, or social media…it shapes the inner man.
What you feel, say, and do is determined by what is going into your eyes, ears, mind, and heart. What comes out of your mouth is determined by what goes into your mind. Garbage in…garbage out.
What is spilling out of you when you are feeling stressed and under pressure? Are your words and conversations full of hate, fear, worry, lack, doubt, shame, anger, and jealousy?
It is a law of nature… that what goes in must come out.
So grateful to know from my readers that my books has helped to infuse faith, peace, hope, resiliency, and courage inside of them.
Guard your heart, eyes, ears, and thoughts.
The more you read God’s word and other inspirational books, the more you will have a reserve of faith, courage, love, and hope inside of you.   So whenever life squeezes you with the pressures of bills, relationships, loss, disappointments, and setbacks…your faith, hope, and courage will be released.

The word encourage is derived from the word courage which means “heart.” It takes courage (heart) to face your problems (i.e. passing a test, providing for your family, interviewing for a job, going into surgery, admitting you need help to become clean and sober, to deal with the bill collectors, resolving or asking for what you want, or going through the stressful process of buying a home or business).

this blog is an excerpt (pages 6-8) from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s book “You Are Too Blessed to Be Stressed” available in e-book format

click here to receive your ebook – $11.99

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To inquire about scheduling a one-on-one life coaching session with Jewel Diamond Taylor, text 310.526.2552 or submit your questions in the form below.