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Know when to say “no”

“Be careful.  Like a fish caught in a net, you can become entangled in a toxic relationship, trying to support or fix someone else’s problems. Some people are more loyal and trapped in their story and identity of victimization more than they are open to experience healing, restoration, and peace.
You may find yourself saying “no” or distancing yourself from loved ones to protect your peace. This doesn’t mean you don’t care… however, it gives the other person space to develop their own problem solving muscles, faith, and healing.

You may feel a disconnect or exhausted from arguing, saving, or pretending you are not hurt.  Misery is contagious. We become drained when we take on assignments that God didn’t give us. Know your limits. Know when to say “no”.

Develop the courage to guard your heart. This helps you to avoid the lines in your relationship becoming blurred causing you to feel discomfort, invisible, unloved, anger, disrespected, resentment, and frustration.” By Jewel Diamond Taylor

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, text that says 'LIFE CHANGES WHEN YOU become brave. JewelDiamondTaylor.com'

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Isolation and being alone can be addicting

“Loneliness and isolation are dangerous.  They can be addicting.  Once you get used to how peaceful it is, you can begin to dread and avoid dealing with people anymore. When you get upset, it is a set up for depression and isolation.  I have had to pray and encourage myself many times out of the cave of depression, grief, isolation, and disappointments from other people’s treatment and loss of my son.

Active fellowship and positive communication are keys to your mental and emotional health.  Living and serving in my purpose has been so helpful in pulling me out of my cave.

Even though you may have been hurt and lost trust in people, experienced loss (e.g. death, job, or divorce), or simply tired from the drama some people bring… do not fall into the pit of isolation. Your past implicit memories can trigger you around certain people or environments to have anxiety or isolate.
Believe that there are still good people who can enrich your life. And believe there are people who will benefit from knowing you.  Begin to believe in new beginnings, new opportunities,  and new possibilities.

To seek help and support is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
It is not good for your emotional, spiritual or mental health to be alone.
Pray for discernment and the courage to trust again, and create love and social connections into your life.”

by Jewel Diamond Taylor, conference speaker, author, life coach, and emotional wellness educator

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Women on the Grow 501(c)(3)

facebook wordpress cover           As Founder of Women on the Grow, Inc. 501(c)(3), I offer life coaching, personal development materials and programs to empower women with life coping skills, emotional wellness, stress management, and self-esteem to be successful and NOT a statistic.

     If you would like to make a donation of any amount, use this paypal link.  Thank you so much for believing in my mission to serve, minister, empower, educate, and encourage women from many walks of life.

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Women of all ages learn;
. leadership skills
. emotional wellness
. entrepreneurship
. self-care
. parenting skills
. goal setting
. self-esteem
. self-sufficiency
. relationship/communication skills
. time management
. cognitive behavior awareness to
. heal from past trauma and abuse.

Jewel audience blank     Your donations make it possible for women with hardship cases to attend the retreats, programs and conferences, receive life coaching, and materials for women who desire to overcome life issues e.g. divorce, breast cancer, homelessness, unemployment, single parenting, stress, domestic abuse, grief, depression, and adverse childhood experiences of abuse and dysfunction.  Emotional pain lasts longer than physical pain.

    So many women miss opportunities, success, and peace because they never learned coping skills or experienced the unique, life changing and long lasting results gained from Women on the Grow materials, events, support, coaching, sisterhood, love and non-judging atmosphere.

Capturei am resilient   audience 3

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     If you are an advocate for women’s health, the healing of families and your see the value of Women on the Grow that builds up countless women to not only achieve success…but also sustain it…this organization is a great place to add your energy, contributions, resources, prayers, and suggestions.

       If you would like to make a donation of any amount, use this paypal link.  Thank you so much for believing in my mission to serve, minister, empower, educate and encourage women from many walks of life.

                  Jewel Diamond Taylor, Founder of Women on the Grow 501c3

323.964.1736

email – WOTGrow@gmail.com

Testimony

A few years ago a young woman sat in my Women on the Grow life enrichment support group classes, How to Be an “E-7 Woman“. I congratulate and celebrate with my Women on the Grow Dream Team Member Arnetha because she followed through by applying the principles from my E-7 Woman Class and my book Shift Happens: The Main Thing is to KEEP the Main Thing…The Main Thing. Enjoy and be inspired by her testimony below:

“I am an E7 Woman on the Grow!!! Hello Jewel Diamond Taylor, This notification is to share with you the good news that I met my goal on June 9, 2012. I graduated from University of Phoenix and received my Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology. It was a long journey. I overcame many challenging obstacles; issues in my marriage relationship, struggling to stay focused and committed to my family and friends (I had to say NO to numerous social activities in order to “Keep the Main Thing ~ The Main Thing. “ My obstacles became my stepping stones for success and strengthened me in areas that I felt I could not persevere. There were times I felt that I would not be able to accomplish my goals because I was too busy trying to balance work and family. I recall at so many of your Super Goal Saturday events that I would say this is my year to graduate only to fall short a few credits (take a break to avoid a breakdown). Well here I am stronger and wiser and more knowledgeable. Yes, I was tired many of nights, sleep deprivation and unprepared family meals; needless to say I lost a few points on assignments due to poor planning of time management better known as procrastination. I will continue to grow and work towards my Masters in Psychology.”

Arnetha Booth
My accomplishments and goals as an E7 woman include the following:
1) Empowered – plugged into God’s energy, standing in authority of God’s power

2) Emotional Intelligence – manage my own emotions so others don’t manage me

3) Economic Strength – wise with spending money and prosperous in health, multiple streams of income

4) Enlightened – relationship with God and understanding His word

5) Encouraged – empty the negative and fill myself with positivity, appreciation & gratitude (listening and reading materials by Jewel Diamond Taylor) my mentor and greatest inspirational teacher

6) Education – Returned to school in 2007, one class and one course at a time, focused on the area that I was interested in growing (With God all things are possible)

7) Self Esteem – I am worthy and loved. I am enough. I know who I am and know that I am truly a worthy child of God. (This was a long process to accept of myself).”

Sincerely, Arnetha Booth (Your Dream Team Member) Irvine, CA

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Break free from dysfunctional generational patterns

What is the story you have been telling yourself?  When you are consumed with fear, grief, disappointment, rejection, shame, worry or anger it is difficult to “see” the bigger picture.  It is difficult to hear from God.

To survive…you may detach, shut down, go into denial, strive for perfectionism and live in hyperdrive to achieve, lash out to others, severely blame yourself, overeat, overspend, and define yourself by your past.  You may have blind spots and cannot see hope, your future, your value or the bigger picture.

Are you cruising on auto-pilot and not really aware of the story in your head…not aware or willing to admit you have given your power away living in fear, abuse, poor health, toxic relationships, procrastination, financial stress, depression, shame, blame, resentment, burn out, loneliness, addiction or secrets?

You can learn to change how you see and interpret your past.  You can learn to re-work your old narrative stories of being a victim, unworthy, powerless, useless and meaningless to find the lesson, peace, and renewal.

You can find something worthwhile, in what, at one point seemed unbearable, inconvenient, unfair, stressful or painful episodes in your life. 

God can write a best seller in you. Your life story is important. 

The characters in your story may be loving, mysterious, helpful, hurtful, sad, misbehave or leave you.   Each one is writing pages in your book of blessing.  Some of your chapters are long and some are short.

To survive an adverse childhood full of dysfunction, instability, abuse or neglect, you have unconsciously taken on the role of;

. The Helper, The Co-dependent, The Enabler, The Sad One

. The Comedian, The Goof off, The Slacker

. The Good Child, The Perfectionist, The Narcissist,

. The High Achiever, The Low Maintenance Child (the invisible ghost)

. The Truth Teller, The Defiant/Angry One, The Scapegoat/Black Sheep

. The Emotional Dumpster, The Drama Queen, The Addict

. The Lost Child, The Adjuster, The Caretaker, The Mascot

. The Silent Sufferer, The Responsible Child, The Family Hero

reframe

Discover your authentic self (e.g. the pain and joy, your unique strengths and gifts, talents, trials and triumphs, being lost and found, interests and purpose) WITHOUT the denial, anger, illusion, fantasies or creating another generation of dysfunction, pain, addictions, secrets, and brokenness.

Your past may be ugly, painful or traumatic.  You have to acknowledge it but you don’t have to let it define, limit or imprison you.  I help others to reframe and learn how to heal those broken places in their lives by acknowledging the truth of their past circumstances and choices. You can learn to break free from dysfunctional generational patterns.

Get self-motivated Get your own matches to get on fire to live your life of purpose, joy, truth, courage, love, peace, health and abundance.  What this brief video message…you will be glad you did.” 

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3 Things That Can Really Mess Your Life Up

I’m constantly growing every day and so thankful to learn what emotional traps to overcome, avoid, and let go of in order to have peace of mind.

I think we can burn up too many “emotional and mental calories” thinking and thinking and thinking (rumination) about these 3 emotional mindsets that can really mess up our day and ultimately our life.

We can burn up “emotional and mental calories” when our thoughts think about the future with worry, doubt, fear, and anxiety. Our thoughts can focus on the present with emotions of resentment, anger, fear, doubt, impatience, or indifference. Our thoughts can turn back to the past. That is the direction I’m focusing on today…the past. Why? Once I learned the origin of the word “regret” is from the French language which means “dead”…I realized I was spending too much energy and time revisiting things that were dead, gone, passed, never to return. I needed to learn how to “fast” from the diet of the past and burn my energy calories by enjoying the present and being more forward thinking to better prepare for my future..

There is no rewind or recalibrate button that we can push to change our past. When we spend too much energy and time about our past choices, circumstances, and consequences…we are “shoulding” on ourselves,. (e.g. I should have left that relationship, job, town, marriage, etc….I should have spoken up…I should have invested or saved more wisely…. I should have stepped up and taken action… I should have been honest about my feelings…I should have started that project…I should have never said that….I should have never done that.” I should have _____________You fill in the blank.

I believe there are 3 mindsets that can eat up our time, steal our confidence, blind us to see new possibilities, paralyze us, shame us, keep us in bondage, and create more anxiety, stress, self-loathing, depression and war within ourselves.

regrets

The first one ….The regret of what I DID…(e.g. lied, cheated, quit, procrastinated, abused my body with alcohol, food, or drugs, shopped too much, misjudged a person, impulsive sex or marriage too soon, wasted time on minor things, terminated a pregnancy, gave into peer pressure, left a marriage, job or friendship too soon, missed an opportunity because of not being prepared or on time, acts of selfishness, took my health, time, people, and blessings for granted, sought revenge, held onto grudges, broke trust, broke laws, broke hearts, broke promises, misguided anger and frustrations towards the wrong people, etc.)

The second …The regret of what I DIDN’T do…(e.g. finish college, good investments, didn’t spend enough time with family and friends, didn’t ask for help, didn’t travel, missed opportunities, didn’t get out of a dead-end relationship or job, didn’t speak up, didn’t ask for what I wanted, didn’t say, “I’m sorry”, didn’t take care of myself, didn’t go to the meeting, the party, class, immaturity and poor choices in my parenting ability, didn’t take leaps of faith, didn’t listen to my intuition, didn’t acknowledge my spiritual calling or purpose, etc.)

The third…The regret of not being able to fix or help someone When you can’t help a friend or family member who is sick, dying, addicted, in prison, suicidal, mentally ill, physically challenged, homeless, etc… you may feel helpless and regret not being able to be present/available/compassionate, financially helpful, the problem solver and fixer.
“A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart… the spirit is crushed.

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~ Proverbs 15:13

written by Jewel Diamond Taylor, Conference Keynote Speaker, Author, Life Coach, Leadership Workshop facilitator, Resiliency Educator, Emotional Wellness Educator, call 323.964.1736

email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com
Here is a suggested web page to learn HOW TO STOP ruminating about your regrets and move forward in more healthier, positive, and productive ways. https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Regretting-Your-Decisions

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9 steps to forgive yourself

forgive yourself shadow    Are you holding yourself hostage, feeling stuck, feeling ashamed or feeling unworthy because of your past?
    You may have; ​trusted the wrong person, made poor financial choices, ​mistreated someone, didn’t complete your studies, had serial meaningless relationships, mismanaged your money, hold grudges, misjudged others, walked away too soon from a relationship, business or job.
     You may have; a poor credit score, babies by different fathers, had a history of addiction, never learned to speak up in an abusive relationship, misused your body, ashamed of your family, been divorced several times, lied, abused or cheated on someone, or continually beat yourself up with negative self-talk about your body image or past poor choices.  It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
     If you can’t forgive yourself, you are doomed to live in shame.  When you can’t forgive others, you live in blame. Holding grudges, shame and blame can only block your blessings.  Don’t waste your power, time and energy on dead issues.  Let go of the negative garbage in your life.   Empty your mental trash can.  Begin to write in your journal about your feelings.  Working on patterns of your behavior is often more helpful than ruminating about your regrets.
     As I began to think about mistakes I made in my marriage, parenting, spending habits, real estate I shouldn’t have sold, food I shouldn’t have eaten, things I shouldn’t have bought, places I shouldn’t have gone to, people I shouldn’t have trusted, things I shouldn’t have said, or opportunities and money I lost because of doubt, procrastination, fear or feeling unworthy…I knew I had to learn how to forgive myself.
conference speaker author workshop     Once I no longer lived in denial and had the courage to face and own up to my harmful behavior and lack of information…I was able to forgive myself.  Once I knew better, I did better.  Once I stopped blaming others or seeking quick fixes when my emotional buttons were being pushed…I began to see a “better me”.  I began to recognize the unrealistic expectations I had of myself and others.  I learned how to repent, respect and repair broken promises and relationships.  I learned to reduce ruminating about past mis-takes (e.g. thinking about it over and over again).  I resolved in my mind, heart, and choices to continually grow in every area of my life.  I am more aware of my habits and mindsets so I can learn from past mis-takes so I won’t repeat them.  I learned to reach out to others to give and receive love, compassion, and connections…which helped me to realize I am not alone and creates accountability.  Once I remembered the mercy and grace of God in my life…wow!  I knew I was the only harsh judge of myself.  Rejoice in knowing you have God’s unconditional love.
     Don’t let the past rob you of your present or future.  Peaceful and productive days will come as you make up your mind to only focus on thinking, speaking and acting in a positive way.  Work on healing any areas in your life of shame and guilt.  You must feel worthy.  This clears the path for you to experience more love, more success, more breakthroughs, more blessings and more peace.   Always remember prayer cannot change your past but it can change your heart.

~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, ready to speak for your conference, campus, retreat, workshop, church or workplace training, 323.964.1736

To schedule your one-on-one life coaching/mentoring session with Jewel aka “EmpowHERment Life Coach” call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com
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Jewel’s Audio Podcasts

bite size nuggets bling

Listen to “Guard Your Heart”

Listen to “The Cause of Your Suffering”