Helping Women

“As a Life Coach/Counselor for countless women across the nation, I hear a reoccurring emotional issue that blocks their peace, joy, health and authentic living. The issue is enabling others, being manipulated and being taken advantage of in their relationships, jobs, church, organization, family members, etc. We do not lose ourselves all at once. It happens gradually as we give our power and peace away in exchange for love, acceptance, position or connection.
I pull women back to the light of their own sanity, soul, spiritual power and self-worth. In my coaching/counseling sessions (in person, by phone or Skype) together we gather clues and broken pieces of their lives to gain a new perspective, direction, self-awareness and self-motivation.

Life Coach JewelWhen too many people are plugged into your energy sucking out your finances, peace of mind and self-esteem…it’s time to unplug.  Too often we feel a sense of guilt (“I would be a bad person ( e.g. a bad Christian, bad wife, bad mother,bad sister, bad daughter) if I don’t ‘help or give.”…or “They will be in danger if I don’t help.” …”I’ve invested so much already in this relationship and I don’t know how to stop the manipulation.” …”They need me because I have always been the; e.g. giver, the fixer, the savior, the rescuer, the breadwinner, the strong one in this family.” … “I feel guilty about my past mistakes and so I feel responsible and remorseful.”

Helping is generally defined as doing something for someone else that they are not capable or are unable to do for themselves.

Enabling is commonly defined as doing something for someone else that they could and should be doing for themselves.

You know you are codependent, enabling or allowing too many people to plug into your energy if…

Repeatedly bailing them out – of jail, financial problems, other “tight spots” they get themselves into

Giving them “one more chance” – …then another…and another

Ignoring the problem – because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go away

Joining them in the behavior when you know they have a problem with it – Drinking, gambling, etc.,

Joining them in blaming others – for their own feelings, problems, and misfortunes

Accepting their justifications, excuses and rationalizations – “I’m destroying myself with alcohol because I’m depressed”.

Avoiding problems – keeping the peace, believing a lack of conflict will help

Doing for them what they should be able to do for themselves –

Softening or removing the natural consequences of the problem behavior

Trying to “fix” them or their problem

Repeatedly coming to the “Rescue”

Trying to control them or their problem

I’ve been there and I’ve done that. Thank God I’m not what I used to be.
If you find you have too many people plugged into you and draining you…give me a call to reserve your one-on-one time with the Self-esteem Dr. 323.964.1736. You want to take advantage of my holiday special today!~ Jewel Diamond Taylor,www.DoNotGiveUp.net

Stop Being a Bag Lady

 “Every time I fly I think how traveling has lost some of it’s joy and affordability for many people.  The airlines created another stream of income by charging customers for excess baggage.  The more extra baggage the airplane carries… the more fuel it uses.  I definitely became a smarter traveler because of this added fee policy.  Of course, I still take all my shoes, but there are some things I learned to travel without to avoid extra costs.   Ummm, makes me think about life.  How much does it cost you and I to carry unnecessary “emotional baggage”?
      There is a cost to our peace of mind, health,relationships and spiritual wellness when we carry baggage picgrudges, bitterness, anger, stress, grief, pride, self- righteous, rebellion, shame, fear and low self-esteem.  Emotional baggage hasa cost my friend!!! 
 
      Are you ready to let some of your baggage go?  Are you ready to feel lighter?  Are you ready to live your life better and not bitter? Are you ready to be resilient…not living with resentment and regrets?  Are you ready to live with faith…not fear?   Are you ready to live your life inspired…not sick and tired?”  ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

One-on-One Coaching/Mentoring with Jewel Diamond Taylor

One of the reasons I’m passionate and good at life coaching is because we need people to help us SEE what is not obvious to us. Life coaching is objective. Your perception of your situation and possibilities are subjective. Sometimes you are too close to your “story”, your pain, your old way of thinking, low self-worth, your anger or your impatience that you don’t SEE the obvious right in front of you. My style and expertise in life coaching empowers women to SEE more than the obvious. Do you SEE all the squares below? The answer is obvious to some and NOT to others. We all have blind spots and that is why personal life coaching/counseling can be so powerful and heart opening.

how many squares

“My particular style of counseling/mentoring/coaching offers;

. relief from isolation, procrastination, self-defeating behavior and frustration

. release off your brakes

. recognition of your gifts

. re-energizes your focus, confidence and purpose and

. reboots you into positive action.

Encouragement and accountability helps you to engage and trust your own possibilities, power and potential. Sometimes you are unable to see your own blind spots or your possibilities.

Some of the deepest longing in you is the voice of your purpose and gift. It calls you to follow a path of action, courage, integrity and humility. Call me 323.964.1736 to set up your one-on-one coaching with me (via Skype or phone)  or email Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

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Relationship Tips

RelationSHIP steps

1. No two people are the same. Disagreements happen on a mental level.  Disapproval of your mate’s appearance, choices, work, faith and values happens on an emotional level.  Disagreements are to be expected, but constant disapproval of your mate does more damage to your relationship. Harsh words can hurt more than physical pain.  Taste your own words before you spit them out.  Words hurt and scar more than you think, so THINK before you speak.  And remember, what you say about others also says a whole lot about YOU.  Disagreements will happen in any relationship, just remember disapproval with your nasty words, attitude, physical harm, silence or rejection can create deep wounds that never heal.

2. There are so many claims for your attention and time (e.g. TVs in each room, technology, work, church, school and meetings).  Families that pray, talk, share and connect together on a regular basis, especially around the dinner table, have a better success rate for happiness and longevity.

3. Wouldn’t you rather come home to a castle…rather than a hassle?  Do you want peace or to be right.  Choose your battles wisely.

4.  When relationships are new, generally speaking…men tend to rush into physical intimacy.  Women tend to rush into emotional intimacy.  Men think connection is sex.  Women think connection happens from talking.

5.  If you both agree on three books, you can reduce problems.  They are the check book (financial harmony, goals, habits), cook book (sharing meals, talking, preparing meals for each other) and the Good Book (praying together and for each other, spiritual growth, study, maturing in God’s word together).

6.  Women experience hurt more than anger.  It’s healthy for women to learn how to express and own their feelings to avoid depression.  Men are taught to master work, wealth, war, and women.  Men are socially taught to exercise power and to refuse to surrender.  Men are socialized to be silent and would probably have a heart attack before talking about a broken heart.  The average man is socialized to deny, defending against and control his emotions.

7.  Every relationship has a decision-making style.  Poor communication in a relationship is a major cause for breakdowns and divorce.

  1. Supportive – let’s talk, we’ll decide
  2. Coaching – let’s talk, I’ll decide
  3. Delegating – you decide
  4. Controlling – I’ll decide

Relationship status 1~ by Jewel Diamond Taylor, www.DoNotGiveUp.net

Help for a Broken Heart

I’m smart in some areas of my life, but I was in the slow class of learning how to love smart with my heart.  I wasn’t alone in this class.  Many women are smart on their jobs, in college, operating their businesses, juggling schedules to care for children, aging parents, job, class, hair appointments and fitness classes.  But these same women have secretly mourned lost loves, they have; given away love, denied love, shared love, tried to buy love, been betrayed by love, got bankrupted and hurt by love.  Many were on a one-way street of love.  Many ignored the flashing red and yellow lights.  Many put their life on hold for years living with false hopes on holidays and weekends.  My slow learning classmates will tell you they were obsessed or depressed by love.  They will tell you how his “bad boy” risky behavior put her life in danger.  They will tell you how they sacrificed for their man; in prison, in a long distance relationship, the one who promised he “would get it together” or he convinced her was leaving his wife.  They will tell you they were caught by surprise when the romance stopped and mistreatment started. Many will say they chose to live in denial instead of living with truth. They will tell you they stayed in a loveless or abusive marriage.  They will tell you they were martyrs for their children or afraid of being alone so they put their heart on the “for sale” rack or even the “the clearance rack” rather than be alone. They will tell you they put their man on a pedestal and idolize him forsaking God, family and priorities for her self-presevation and peace of mind.  They will tell you took financial hits, emotional hits and physical hits from his hand instead being cherished with his heart.  They will tell you how they betrayed themselves by diminishing and dishonoring their own desires, worth, goals, virtue, time, body, heart and soul.  They will tell you how they suffered in silence as their crown of worthiness fell to the floor.  They will tell you they were not smart with their hearts.  Read “Love Smart with the Heart” in e-book/PDF format only $9.99 click here to order your copy now    If you want the book mailed to you, click here