5 Types of Female Entrepreneurs

Michele DeKinder-Smith is the founder and CEO of Linkage Research, Inc, a marketing research firm with Fortune 500 clients such as Starbucks, Frito Lay, Tropicana, Texas Instruments, Hoover Vacuums and Verizon Wireless.  She is an author of See Jane Succeed:  Five Types of Entrepreneurial Women Reveal What it Takes to Win in Business and in Life and co-author of the award-winning See Jane Collaborate: Your Essential Guide to Joyful and Prosperous Business Partnerships, Michele is guiding women to build better businesses, brands, and lives, one Jane at a time.  Below are the 5 types of entrepreneurs she describes:

Accidental Jane

Representing 1 in 5 female entrepreneurs and about 20% of their expenditures, Accidental Jane is that she didn’t really intend to start a business.  She ended up owning her own company when she was laid off, got frustrated with traditional employment, or when she developed an interest that lent itself well to becoming a business.  Accidental Jane is usually a solo-preneur who appreciates the work as it comes without driving for significant growth.

Go Jane Go

The smallest group at just 14%, Go Jane Go is four times more likely than the average female entrepreneur to own million dollar plus enterprise.  Because her business is thriving, she spends twice as much as the average female entrepreneur on goods and services to help her business run.  She has the highest personal income drawn through her business as well, in part because she’s keeping more money in-house by doing much of the work herself.  She’s in demand and continually busy – often feeling pulled in many directions at once.

Jane Dough

When you think of the quintessential female entrepreneur, odds are you’re thinking of Jane Dough, though she’s just 18% of the total market.  She’s a visionary, actively growing her business. Jane Dough is five times more likely than the average female entrepreneur to have a million dollar plus business and her spending reflects that fact.  She’s working longer hours but sees doing so as a means to an end of creating an asset she can use to “cash out” or leave as a legacy to future generations of her family.

Merry Jane

Merry Jane accounts for 19% of female entrepreneurs and her spending is lower than other groups.  Merry Jane is enjoying running her business in and around other priorities in her life – whether they be her full-time career, being a stay-at-home-mom, or serving as caretaker for someone she loves.  Her business is an outlet, allowing her to utilize her talents when she has time available while also bringing in some income.  She loves being a business owner because it gives her the freedom to work when and how she wants – and she’s consciously making a tradeoff for less money to be able to enjoy the control she has over her time.

Tenacity Jane

The largest single segment, Tenacity Jane represents a third of female entrepreneurs, whose businesses are not performing as well as they’d like – particularly financially.  As a result, she under-spends compared to other segments because resources are tight.  Though she may be struggling right now, she’s determined to do what it takes to turn her business into a thriving enterprise.  Most successful women business owners we’ve interviewed have experienced a Tenacity Jane phase at some point in their entrepreneurial careers and say the lessons learned during those times were invaluable.

You can take her assessment quiz here to determine your entrepreneurial type.

Healing Relationship Rejection

As the Self-esteem Dr. I counsel with so many women with depression.  I hear so often “it’s hard being a single woman.”  These women are doing what R&B singer Brandy sings about in one of her songs...“Sitting up here in my room waiting for you to invest in my happiness.  I must confess I’m just a mess sitting up here in my room.”  Whether the man in your life is a friend, lover or husband… men like women who like themselves.  Women who have a very low self-esteem are dangerous.  Men tend to think they are hysterical, stalkers, whiners, weak, clingy and needy.

I believe that too many times women don’t have the courage, faith and self-esteem to end a one-sided, abusive, neglectful or adulterous relationship.  The idea of being alone or starting over is too scary.  I believe sometimes when we don’t know how to protect and guard our hearts, God will end the relationship for us.  And then I hear women say…”I don’t understand why he left me…I don’t understand why he won’t return my calls….I wonder what I did wrong?”

I’m not saying that the drama, disappointments, divorce and demise of relationships is always the man’s fault.  Men hurt also.  There are good men who give their all and get wounded also.  This message is specifically written to empower women who need to boost their Relationships I.Q.   This message is for women who want to heal and guard their hearts.  So ask I women, “Are you one link in a chain of fools?”  Are you living with hopeless devotion, waiting and waiting in a one-sided relationship?  Your head probably knows it doesn’t make sense to keep trying, hoping, crying, waiting and wasting your time on someone who can’t return your love.  It’s your heart that needs to see the truth.  Your heart will keep remembering the good times and keep you in denial about the bad times.

Don’t be someone’s down-time, spare-time, part-time or sometime girl.  If they can’t be there for you all of the time, then they’re not even worth your time.

Sometimes you’re not meant to make up after a breakup…it could be your wake up call to show you that you are not meant to be a couple.   Love when you’re ready… not when you’re lonely.   Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.   You can’t see your next if you’re too busy looking at your Ex.  Your EX should stay an EX.  They’re the EXample of false love and an EXplanation for why you deserve better.  Don’t search for a man that will solve all your problems, he won’t.  Find one that won’t let you face them alone.  Lust, loneliness, superficial love and a Saturday only kinda of love can make you blind.  When someone shows  you who they are, believe it.  Take off your “pink” sunglasses.  Notice the red flags waving that warn you he not the one.  Follow your heart…but take your brain with you.   If you are attracted to the unavailable, “bad boy”, selfish, controlling or player type, you won’t be with a prayer.   Don’t just ask for a “good man”…seek a God man.  Rushing into emotional or sexual intimacy causes us to fast forward and skip over the real process of building a relationship based on time, dating, communication, trust, asking qualifying questions, honesty, disciplining our hormones, shared values, boundaries and friendship.

Brandy’s song musically warns women to not put their life on layaway waiting or someone to invest in your happiness.  It may sound hard and too cliche, but you’ve got to make your own self happy.  When the door closes on a relationship and it wasn’t your choice, why would you want someone back who doesn’t love, respect, honor or want you?

I have heard women in my one-on-one life coaching sessions tell me how they prayed asking the Lord to reveal to them what they needed to know about their boyfriend or husband.  “Lord let me know if he is cheating.  Lord let me know if he is the one for me.  Lord show me any flaws so I can decide if this relationship should go to the next level. Lord reveal to me if he is a controller…is he addicted to porn…will he be a good father to my children…does he have anger issues?   Lord let me know if he is gay, a liar, on drugs, married and just playing with my emotions.”

     When these ladies continued with their stories they told me their prayers were answered and they didn’t like what was revealed.  They didn’t like seeing the truth because now they needed the courage, faith and self-esteem to make a decision.   It’s better to be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie.  A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want … but it won’t go any where.  Guard your heart by keeping your eyes, ears and spirit open to guidance from God and those you trust.

With permission I share a recent email received and the response from the Self-esteem Dr. regarding relationships…

“I enjoyed your recent “Love Smart”  presentation on relationships in Chicago.  It is always such a blessing to hear from God as HE continues to utilize his magnificent gifts bestowed to you.  We are all gifted.  Sometimes it feels like the prize in the crackerjack box. I feel somewhat successful with my modest profession as a special education teacher.  I have always dedicated my life to giving and being ever so thankful for every little thing that comes to me.   I’ve isolated myself and have no confidence.  I feel somewhat embarrassed that I can not move on from an issue that haunts me and I believe has hindered me from the full potential I can achieve.  I’m in love with someone, who I know loves me with the capacity he can love.  It isn’t enough.   I feel a failure because I can’t believe :1) it didn’t work out.  2) I’m stuck  3) I’ve isolated and have torn my self-esteem to scraps of little self worth  4) I’m craving the co-dependency willing to settle for creeping and one-night interludes.  A MESS!!

This brother is a good guy but he and I have such a bitter history.   Dr. Jewel drugs play a serious part in this matter.  And I know that is an immediate red flag but it is so complicated.

Today, I want to call him and apologize for sharing my views.  Then I remember how ridiculous that is.  He needed to know that I am loving and loved, an important creation to this planet, sent by God with a design that no man can and/or should change.  Today, I want to celebrate loving and being loved, even and especially because it didn’t work out.  Surely, he needed to learn how to treat a woman, and respect a lady.  I am seeking an answer as to what the life lesson was to teach me.  Because today I am still alone.  Today, I feel the conflict of heart and mind.  I have no willpower whatsoever.  For this reason, I have become lazy, out of shape, lacking the energy for my ambitions.  I am angry with myself because this is over someone whom I cannot control.  Would we want to share a life with someone who you can control? I think not!  When I know that he is there just loving me, from a distance, I am so secure.  As soon as we confronted the finality of our relationships, I became broken inside.  Strange……Help with a word, a mantra, to move on.  You see it’s been a year of creeping, back and forth, professing our love to one another without making the sacrifices needed to solidify a commitment.  Does love exist?  Am I deluded?  I’m an intelligent woman, but I keep making stupid mistakes.  Please send me your book because you ran out of them when you here teaching on this subject.  Thank you again, for your ear.” E. S. Hopeless Romantic

Click here to order your copy of the e-book to download and review often on your computer, ipad, tablet, android (PDF format)

Women on the Grow

A few years ago a young woman sat in my Women on the Grow life enrichment support group classes, How to Be anE-7 Woman“. I congratulate and celebrate with my Women on the Grow Dream Team Member Arnetha because she followed through by applying the principles from my E-7 Woman Class and my book Shift Happens: The Main Thing is to KEEP the Main Thing…The Main Thing.  Enjoy and be inspired by her testimony below:

“I am an E7 Woman on the Grow!!! Hello Jewel Diamond Taylor, This notification is to share with you the good news that I met my goal on June 9, 2012. I graduated from University of Phoenix and received my Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology. It was a long journey. I overcame many challenging obstacles; issues in my marriage relationship, struggling to stay focused and committed to my family and friends (I had to say NO to numerous social activities in order to “Keep the Main Thing ~ The Main Thing. “ My obstacles became my stepping stones for success and strengthened me in areas that I felt I could not persevere. There were times I felt that I would not be able to accomplish my goals because I was too busy trying to balance work and family. I recall at so many of your Super Goal Saturday events that I would say this is my year to graduate only to fall short a few credits (take a break to avoid a breakdown). Well here I am stronger and wiser and more knowledgeable. Yes, I was tired many of nights, sleep deprivation and unprepared family meals; needless to say I lost a few points on assignments due to poor planning of time management better known as procrastination.  I will continue to grow and work towards my Masters in Psychology.

Arnetha Booth

My accomplishments and goals as an E7 woman include the following:

1)      Empowered – plugged into God’s energy, standing in authority of God’s power

2)      Emotional Intelligence – manage my own emotions so others don’t manage me

3)      Economic Strength – wise with spending money and prosperous in health, multiple streams of income

4)      Enlightened – relationship with God and understanding His word

5)      Encouraged – empty the negative and fill myself with positivity, appreciation & gratitude (listening and reading materials by Jewel Diamond Taylor) my mentor and greatest inspirational teacher

6)      Education – Returned to school in 2007, one class and one course at a time, focused on the area that I was interested in growing (With God all things are possible)

7)      Self Esteem – I am worthy and loved. I am enough. I know who I am and know that I am truly a worthy child of God. (This was a long process to accept of myself).”

 Sincerely, Arnetha Booth (Your Dream Team Member) Irvine, CA

To get your autographed copy of the book “Shift Happens: The Main Thing is to KEEP the Main Thing…The MAIN THING”…click here

Praise Report

Blessings Minister Jewel Diamond Taylor (June 5, 2012)

I pray all is well. Please excuse me if I am rambling but I want to inform you that meeting you for the first time in 2008 at the business meeting that took place in Greenbelt MD changed my life. It gave me the inspiration to go home and write my essay to apply for Graduate school when I had procrastinated for months(almost a year) to write it. The deadline for graduate school was approaching fast and I could never stay focus to complete one paragraph, but after that first session of hearing you speak in person I was on an inspirational high. I was able to go home and write my 5-page typed essay in three hours. 😉 I was dancing around my house, listening and singing the song “Encourage Yourself” by Donald Lawrence that you played at the event.

I was on an inspirational high and no person or thing was able to break my spirit at that moment. I felt as if I could conquer the world. I was very empowered by your message to “Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing” that it encouraged me to purchase your book so it can help me to continue to stay focus and keep moving and growing forward. You autograph the book for me and you wrote the message, “stay focused” and I did. Your message and your wonderful spirit encouraged and empowered me to finish that paper that words were flowing out of nowhere. I emailed it to my friends and family to proofread before I submitted it to the school and they loved it. They said that they were so inspired by my essay that they wanted to return to school and focus on living their dreams or if they were the dean they would accept me without any thought. I was able to write an empowering essay because God used you to empower me that day. I was so full of encouragement that the very next day I emailed you to inform you of how I felt and emailed all of my friends and coworkers who were also inspired by what you have done. After reading my email to them, they wanted to meet you because they have never heard me sound so excited and encouraged in that way before I sent them my testimony of going to see you whenever you are in town is a life changing experience.

I wanted to inform you that the day you help me take the first step to apply to graduate school. Now, I have now completed that goal. I saw myself finishing school and I completed my MBA program from the University of the District of Columbia, Saturday, May 8, 2012. Attached is a picture of me receiving my MBA degree with a concentration in Accounting. To this day, I am not sure if I would have ever written that essay if I did not meet you so thanks for always encouraging God’s people.

Blessings,  Ikisha N. Little, MBA

Feeling stuck #!?@

You and I could blame other people all day for our failures, hurts and setbacks.  We only grow when we examine ourselves and realize we often sabotage and block our own blessings and success.  We procrastinate for many reasons; self-doubt, boredom, fear of failure, perfectionism, lack of discipline and focus, being unprepared, feeling unworthy, pride, and shame.

These feelings alone don’t necessarily lead to procrastination.  What tips the scales is going after your goals or tackling a task alone with no one to help you and no one to cheer you on.

You might think you are lazy or lack faith and confidence.  The real hindrance is loneliness and lack of accountability.  The way to overcome loneliness-based procrastination is to enlist the support of other people.

Jogging buddies, college study groups and self-help recovery groups understand the secret of accountability and encouragement.  If you are tired of your own excuses and really want to see results this year, ask for support.

coaching logo      Allow me to share with YOU some solutions and accountability to help you stay the course and see results this year!

 Do you have a desire to:

.  lose weight/have more energy/better health

.  find employment

.  increase your faith

.  graduate

.  stay clean and sober

.  complete your paperwork

.  de-cluttering your office/garage/home

.  overcome depression

.  save money/get out of debt

.  get out of an abusive relationship

.  write your book, finish your project or start your business

.  discover your life purpose

. heal from being stuck in grief, shame and depression

Come out of isolation.  Let go of pride.  Create a partnership.  Be accountable to a friend, family member, life coach (like me), your co-worker, mentor, your Bible Study group, etc.  Procrastination is a thief.

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Stupid or Smart Love?

Excerpt from the book

 “Love Smart with Your Heart: Desperation is a Terrible Perfume to Wear”   by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Page 50

When the public calls the 911 emergency line, records show that many people are lonely, need attention, have misdiagnosed their pain or overwhelmed with stress.  Yes, there are legitimate calls from trauma and tragedy, but not all calls need intervention.  Some people believe they have an emergency in a situation that does not pose a risk to life, physical health, or property. In these instances, some people feel entitled to an emergency response.

This is a metaphor for life.  Love smart with your heart.  You cannot respond to every emergency call from your family, friends, lover, organization, children, etc.   As you grow in discernment, you will be able to heal from the disease to please others or try to buy their love and time with sexual favors, service or money.  Every time your child, friend, lover or family calls you, remember, not all calls of distress are an emergency or your responsibility to fix.  Some people are immature, irresponsible, co-dependent, playing games, taking advantage, manipulators, lazy, spiritually weak or lack good coping skills.

Are you trying to fix and rescue loved ones while forsaking your own health, worth, time, peace of mind, virtue and self-worth?  Are you looking for love in all the wrong places and faces because your childhood sucked!?

I have counseled many women over the years and have created a name for the profile that I see all too often.  She is the  “911 woman”.  911 women are available anytime to rescue other people, fix people, respond to the needs of other people (i.e. sexual, financial, skills, time, comfort, etc.)   sacrificing their own peace, self-esteem, virtue, money, credit, health, goals, salvation and self-worth.

Women who; had missing Fathers (emotional or physical), had a lousy childhood, abused, covered up bad behavior of alcoholic parents, had troubled or sick family members learn to endure  emotional, physical or mental pain. These women get used to numbing their own feelings and needs.  These women have a high tolerance of pain and neglect.   Feeling powerless, invisible, neglected, ignored, abused, used or acting as the savior, rescuer or punching bag for others becomes their “normal.”  These women tolerate distant and non-nurturing relationships. They become “loyal” to someone who continually disrespects, betrays, ignores or takes advantage of their relationship.  Their alarm system has been broken.  Their view of what love and safety should feel like has been distorted.  They suffer silently and suppress their own needs and values.  They don’t recognize when someone is in real need or when they must step back from creating a co-dependency relationship. These women unfortunately grow up to be “911 women.”

I am a recovering “911 woman”.  While my mother was pregnant with my sister Joy, my mother moved me, my younger sister Jamila and my grandmother from Washington D. C. to California. My father was sad all the time when we would visit him. I took on his pain.  My Mother later remarried a man who was a good provider but he was an alcoholic and very controlling.   My mother was reserved, passive and emotionally distant.  So I took on the role of taking care of my sisters.  I became a “child adult”, very serious and protective.  I learned at an early age emotional adaptive behavior to be the fixer, to cover up the dysfunction, comfort the sad, protect my sisters and numb my own feelings and silence my voice.   My inner child learned the rules of silence, secrets, high tolerance, denial, care giving and enabling to survive in our rigid home.

As a wife and mother of two wonderful sons, I continued my pattern of co-dependency and wanted to be a fixer.  I wanted to smother them with the love I didn’t experience. Allowing my sons to grow up and experience the consequences of their choices and experience the joys of life without responding to every request or emergency has been a real journey of growth for me.  I have learned the hard way that love has to evolve into letting go and being smart about the dangers of enabling, helping and rescuing too much. Learning to value my voice in a house full of testosterone was a challenge for me.  For many years I suffered in silence to avoid arguments.  Questioning my husband’s excessive drinking and lack of communication was something I tolerated instead of confronting.  My voice and confidence was never cultivated.  It was pitiful!  I never saw my mother model healthy self-esteem in her dysfunctional marriage. I wanted to help her and help my father while negating my own maturity and voice.  My subconscious emotional coping pattern birthed my inner child to fix adults and subdue my needs.  I’m sure this is why I birthed my women’s ministry, write books, facilitate retreats and have a passion to empower and encourage women to discover their voice and heal their self-esteem.

Fortunately, because of God’s grace through the spiritual fathering, model and teaching of our Bishop Kafela, my husband no longer drinks and he continues to grow in his communication skills.  His great joy is serving in our church and sharing his testimony with young men to help them avoid the traps of alcohol.  We both are products of our environment as children.

The unexpected blessing of growing and healing my own self-esteem is the by-product of wanting to help other women for over 25 years.  The mystery for me is, “Why was it so easy to help others when I was in need also?”  The teacher and student in me merged.  I believe God can transform our mess into a message to inspire others.  I believe you can triumph over your tribulations.  I believe that you and I can transform our thinking rather than remain in deformed thinking.  I believe you and I can rise above our damaged and broken selves and experience healthy love for ourselves and others.  I believe you either remain hurt, numb, lonely and angry about your life or you learn to reach out help others.  I believe that once you know better, you can do better! The payoff is so awesome.  The more I stopped being vulnerable and volunteering to rescue others, tolerate pain or silence my voice, the more I discovered my value.  I became stronger, wiser, and more confident the more I studied, shared, opened my heart and followed the guidance of God to serve other women.   Yes, it is an on-going process of removing the layers of shame, guilt, hurt, secrets, poor choices and acceptance of the things, the past and the people you and I cannot change.  You can start to heal and change your thinking when you become desperate or inspired to change.  My goal with this book is to inspire you to want to assess your stress and be willing to truly see where you can grow smarter with the issues of your heart.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. – Proverbs 4:23

Start observing your reactions, feelings, patterns and thoughts with compassion.  Be willing to take the risk of setting personal boundaries which means learning not to be afraid of hurting others; having other people angry at you or feeling abandoned or losing a relationship.  Pray for discernment, wisdom, boundaries and learn how to say “no” to demanding requests of your body, time and money.  You can’t buy love or respect from others when you suffer from the disease to please.  There is a difference between helping someone who is disabled, incapable, or sick versus helping someone who is resisting growing up and or taking advantage of your kindness and your hunger for love.

A child growing up in a dysfunctional home and shame experiences unspoken rules which creates a foggy sense of what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior.

Some of these rules include:

1. It’s not ok to talk about or express our feelings openly.

2. Don’t address issues or relationships directly.

3. Always be strong, always be good, always be perfect.

4. Don’t be selfish.

5. Do as I say. . .not as I do.

6. It’s not ok to play.

7. Don’t rock the boat.

8.  Shhh… keep the family secrets

8. Don’t talk about sex

9.  Be a nice girl…a “good” daughter”… a “good wife”…don’t complain

Do you think that if you give enough of your time, sex, help, talent and money to someone that you will be guaranteed love in return, a wedding ring, a commitment, respect, recognition, promotion or love?

Have you settled for convenience instead of commitment and a covenant which values you as a queen, a child of God, a woman of virtue?

When a woman trusts herself and truly provides her own validation, she stops making poor choices.  When a woman stops being vulnerable and volunteering to save, fix, enable or tolerate bad behavior, she will no longer act like a victim.  Learning to love smart with your heart helps you to grow stronger in choosing your friend, date and/or mate.

Page 38

     Just like dogs can smell fear, anyone without virtue will recognize a weak and needy person and take advantage of their vulnerability.

Desperation is an invisible quality.  It’s an aura that a person can sense through your behavior, words and tolerance of bad behavior.

A good man who really cares and respects you would not take advantage of you.

If you are wearing the perfume of desperation, a dog can smell it.  Unfortunately, he will misuse your body, time, money and heart.

Being needy, naive, desperate and having low expectations will surely cause you heartache and pain.

Men who have options don’t necessarily think that sleeping together means you’re in a serious “relationship”.

You may fall in love with some one’s personality but it’s their character you really live with.  You deserve more than:

. a part time love

. a “booty call”

. shared love

. secret love

. I love you ifkind of love

. abusive love (emotional or physical)

. a date withonly fast food and fast sex

To order your copy of this book and receive the Self-esteem CD message, call 323.964.1736 to pay by phone with debit/credit card.

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e-mail JewelMotivates@gmail.com or call 323.964.1736