If you have a cold, the flu, a cut, stomach ache, head ache or nausea… you probably have some of these in your medicine cabinet. But do you have the tools to deal with your emotional pain of worry, shame, childhood abuse, anger, depression, regrets, grief, disappointments, loneliness, feeling unworthy, fears, doubts, low self-esteem, procrastination or feeling stressed? When we are hurt physically in our bodies…we don’t hesitate to seek relief. But why do we ignore our emotional pain (mind/heart)? Fear of being judged and ridiculed by your family, friends, church, job, and society can make feel shame…which only complicates and prolongs your ability to heal and thrive. Did you realize your emotional pain undiagnosed, not treated, denied, suppressed, or ignored could be the cause of your unhappiness, sickness, broken relationships, addictions, weight gain, insomnia, and joyless living? What’s in your “wellness cabinet?” What emotional wounds do you have?
Cuts, nausea, depression and headaches from caused by rejection and heart ache.
The relationship muscle weakness of loneliness. The longer you go without relating closely to others, the more difficult it becomes to reestablish contact with new people, or even get back in touch with the old friends you’ve drifted away from.
Broken bones of loss and trauma can shatter and destroy your life, relationships, career, and health. Your post traumatic stress untreated can cause you to make assumptions about the world and feel that it’s not as safe a place as you once thought. I will continue sharing more of my list 7 points about this message of emotional healing next week in my Master Class “The Filling Station” Sunday, April 25, 3:00 PM (Pacific)…6 PM (Eastern) Today, Sunday, April 18, my topic is “The 12 Seats in God’s Waiting Room” to register, email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com
Upcoming speaking engagements
Wednesday, February 21 – FDIC Administrative Professional Day
God has been “growing” my mind. I have been learning some rough and beautiful life lessons.
I love being a woman on the grow! I am learning to reflect on my past with “Kindsight”, to be compassionate, real, and patient with myself.
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with those areas in your life where you need to grow.
Don’t ever wander so far away from your true self just to get close to someone else.
A SHIP is designed to take you places. So if your friendSHIP, partnerSHIP, or relationSHIP isn’t taking you anywhere positive and helpful…think…is it time to abandon SHIP?
Some people like to stay busy and distracted or stay in a blame/victim mentality instead of sitting still to reflect, sit with their pain, and heal. Once you are courageous enough to live with the reality of your pain, loss, setback, heartache, regrets, or disappointments, and patterns … you will be in a position to walk the emotional path of acceptance, healing, renewal, and restoration of self-worth and faith.
Too often I hear people saying they are fighting their demons when the reality is they’re fighting and resisting the consequences of their choices.
Could it be life is inviting you to build spiritual stamina, mental health, and emotional wellness?
Until YOU heal…you will be toxic to anyone who tries to hire you, collaborate with you, befriend you, or love you.
Are you willing to examine your thoughts, patterns, relationships, choices, and emotional capacity to cope with stress?
Positive thinking and faith do not work unless you understand the roots of your beliefs and behaviors. You can’t ignore your past conditioning, experiences, trauma, fantasies, expectations, and cultural programming. Once you accept your shadow self and all the many versions of YOU, your AWARENESS becomes your superpower to begin transforming your life.
For that someone who has the courage to speak up, armor up, and NOT return to that person or habit which is your “Egypt” (a place of bondage, i.e. addiction, shame, anger, dishonesty, debt, pride, abuse, self-harm, family secrets, or a dysfunctional relationship)… I encourage you to keep walking into your place of promise, freedom, and peace. Stay in the light. Getting help can help you overcome the darkness and break unhealthy patterns.
call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to reserve your one-on-one video conference with Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Speaking Calendar
March 21 – She is Well Book Launch and Virtual Summit (Maryland)
At first, you may feel selfish, embarrassed, stress, or mean when you start to have boundaries. It will take time and determination. Protect your self-esteem, time, body, energy, goals, money, and peace of mind. One day you will thank yourself for finding your voice and value.
1. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I am not comfortable talking about my; past, weight, lifestyle, grief, decisions, surgery, emotional pain, recent conflict, job, etc. right now.
b. (In the case of avoiding drama, conflict, or awkwardness…”I will not be able to attend, but thank you for asking me.”) c. I do not deserve to be treated or talked to like that.
d. Gossip, secrets, drama, trash talk and intense conversations are emotional dumping. I am not your dumping ground.
2. TIME BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I can’t help you right now. I need to stay on schedule and focus. I have some commitments to keep. Is Thursday a good time for you?
b. If you are going to be late, text or call me.
c. I would love to attend, but I have a prior commitment I want to honor.
3. PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say
a. If you need to use my things, please ask first.
b. I feel disrespected and uncomfortable, you can’t touch me there. c. Thank you, but I am uncomfortable hugging or shaking hands. I’m not ready for intimacy.
4. MONEY BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. Because of my money priorities and obligations, I cannot answer your request. I will be praying with you that your needs will be met.
b. If I do choose to help, it is a loan and not a gift. c. I do not discuss my income with others. I will not ask about yours.
5. RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. My relationship with my spouse, children, boo, ex, or parents are not open for discussion.
b. I know you care, but it is my personal business.
6. TOPIC BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I don’t discuss my politics, religion, or personal business here.
b. I don’t think that was funny or appropriate.
written by Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
click arrow to watch your “Success PushUPs video” less than 2 minutes
I appreciate Jewel’s personal and spiritual development messages and wish tosend a donation
to herCashApp… $gratefulJDTor click this linkpaypal
Remember to save the date for this Sunday. I continue to offer my weekly webinar in my signature zoom room.
For 8 months now, the ladies attending have experienced new levels of understanding about ; their gifts, breaking strongholds, creating success habits, healing issues of shame, worry, doubt, procrastination, and unhealthy relationships, making progress with their goals and life purpose, gaining insight about past pain, trauma, and childhoood experiences which keeps them living in fear, low self-esteem, and cycles of arrested development. The “Filling Station (Romans 15:13)” has created a space for women to avoid burnout and refill their mind, heart and soul with hope and encouragement. They are feeling seen, heard, and connected to others seeking empowerment and ways to strengthen their faith and personal development. This experience is helpful, healing, and a positive resource for you to be able to endure this historic pandemic. YOU are invited to be with us.
Meet and greet 2:30 pm Pacific/ 5:30 pm Eastern
The webinar begins 3:00 pm Pacific/ 6:00 pm Eastern
Once you register, the link and password will be sent to your email address.
“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. “
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.”—Rosa Parks
“We all have dreams. In order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” ~ Jesse Owens, world record setting Olympic athlete
click the arrow to watch a short video message
Here is a great lesson to learn. If you squeeze a lemon, what comes out? Lemon juice right! Not apple juice, cranberry juice, or orange juice. The pressure on the outside releases only what’s inside. If you have fear, doubt, and anger on the inside of you…then when life brings you stress and pressure…the only thing that comes out is fear, worry, doubt, and anger. “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
The more one watches or listens to rubbish on TV, gossip, music, movies, or social media…it shapes the inner man. What you feel, say, and do is determined by what is going into your eyes, ears, mind, and heart. What comes out of your mouth is determined by what goes into your mind. Garbage in…garbage out. What is spilling out of you when you are feeling stressed and under pressure? Are your words and conversations full of hate, fear, worry, lack, doubt, shame, anger, and jealousy? It is a law of nature… that what goes in must come out. So grateful to know from my readers that my books has helped to infuse faith, peace, hope, resiliency, and courage inside of them. Guard your heart, eyes, ears, and thoughts. The more you read God’s word and other inspirational books, the more you will have a reserve of faith, courage, love, and hope inside of you. So whenever life squeezes you with the pressures of bills, relationships, loss, disappointments, and setbacks…your faith, hope, and courage will be released.
The word encourage is derived from the word courage which means “heart.” It takes courage (heart) to face your problems (i.e. passing a test, providing for your family, interviewing for a job, going into surgery, admitting you need help to become clean and sober, to deal with the bill collectors, resolving or asking for what you want, or going through the stressful process of buying a home or business).
this blog is an excerpt (pages 6-8) from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s book “You Are Too Blessed to Be Stressed” available in e-book format
Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. (see below).
When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body. … Breathing exercises are a good way to relax, reduce tension, and relieve stress.
The next time you’re feeling anxious try this simple relaxation technique:
Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. …
Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly, but keep your jaw relaxed. …
Repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes.
I continue to offer my coaching/counseling (phone or video) by sharing coping skills, my experience, prayer, and emotional wellness support.
During this crisis there NO fee. A love offering is available by cash app or paypal.
Contact email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com, call 323.964.1736
Wash your hands, be safe, pray, be kind, conserve your energy, be hopeful, and practice gratitude.
I also believe the word “depressed” is often overused or a person’s emotional state of mind can be misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
I saw a Jeff Foster quote on-line stating, “The word “depressed” is spoken phonetically as “deep rest”. (Stop and say “depressed” out loud.)
WOW…this quote triggered my thoughts about depression. Many times I have quickly labeled myself as depressed when actually I was really feeling spent, exhausted, overwhelmed, and in great need for time to; rest, decompress, unwind, detox my mind, let go, get off the hamster’s wheel, process my anger, grief, and disappointments, cancel some appointments, unplug and fast from social media, delegate some tasks, say “no” to one more request, take a nap, meCation, stayCAtion, or vaCation. When you have gone through some significant life changes i.e. divorce, death in the family, job loss, health issues, caregiving, new job, business owner, new city, marriage, etc…the stress in your body keeps track. If you don’t rest periodically to regoup and renew…you will be forced to stop because of illness, accidents, or anxiety.
I have noticed when I am avoiding conflict, decision-making, resisting change, or in denial about situations I cannot control or change, the default story in my head says, “I am depressed.” No Jewel. Stop Jewel!
There comes a time when I need to rest my mind from; worry, anger, the woulda, coulda, shoulda thoughts, delays, disappointments, doubts, demands of my time, and the constant streaming of violence and hatred in the news. I need to remind myself to recite the Serenity Prayer.
As a public speaker standing in front of all types of audiences, counselor, life coach, wife, mother, grandmother, founder of my Women on the Grow 501c3 ministry, a prayer warrior, a frequent flyer, a sensitive and empathic person, I must remember that my mind is like an emotional sponge absorbing a lot of mixed energy. Because of my sensory overload … on a regular basis, I need to squeeze out all the stimulation, toxic energy, thoughts, and feelings that are weighing heavy on my mind.
You may be working hard, volunteering, parenting, care giving, traveling a lot, and studying which leads to sleep deprivation. Taking time to re-evaluate your lifestyle choices, habits, pace, relationships, faith, and priorities can be your time of spiritual and emotional renewal.
Before you turn to medication to numb your feelings or shut down and isolate yourself….rethink your choice. What you think is depression could really be an invitation for deep rest, renew, and restore your mind, body, and spirit.
It’s hard to realize you got blind-sided, bamboozled, tricked, manipulated, or kicked in your heart by someone you trusted or that someone took your kindness for weakness, that you were ill-prepared to deal with dysfunctional, untrustworthy manipulators, abusers, or didn’t know how to cope with conflict.
Its hard to face the truth that a relationship or job is futile, hopeless, or even dangerous to your emotional, mental, or physical health.
I have come to realize that people are really my life teachers. Most of my growth and hard lessons in self-esteem and finding my voice I learned from my marriage. The past friends that hurt me … I now see as my teachers. My children are my teachers. I had to learn a lot about parenting, boundaries, respect, and self-worth from my own family and friends. Some lessons were hurtful and some helpful.
Believe it or not…all of your relationships are your teachers.
The joy and the pain from your family, friends, co-workers, lovers, marriages, haters, helpers, energy vampires, besties, supporters, business partners, boss, role models, leaders, pastors, mentors, parents, and children are your teachers.
You will either feel hurt, hindered, or helped by them. Hopefully you will learn and grow from them.
Did you learn from your “life teachers” to:
. have boundaries
. build your self-esteem
. speak up and find your voice
. speak a new language, new professional skills
. be more discerning in choosing friends
. have more courage and determination from the people who said “no” to you
. pay more attention to the red flags that are warning signs
. cook, dance, travel, improve your money habits
. ask more questions and be less impulsive when dating
. family traditions, communication, trust issues
. guard your heart from narcissistic, selfish, insecure, abusive, and dysfunctional people?
Do not beat yourself up for getting involved with a narcissist, manipulator, abusor, untrustworthy, or immature person. Wake up from the denial and gaslighting that made you think you were crazy, unworthy, stupid, unlovable, invisible, or damaged goods.
When you have been told you are no good or when you have felt invisible, incompetent, and insignificant, it is like being hypnotized and put under a spell.
Yes, I know it’s hard to break the spell…but it’s possible. Yes, I know it’s difficult to admit you got caught and feel trapped in a painful relationship walking on eggshells. Your mind wants to protect you from feeling pain, so your mind will resist the truth. You will be stubborn at first to see and hear the truth because your mind doesn’t want to feel the pain of acceptance, surrender, being vulnerable, or separation.
Emotional freedom comes when you have the courage to face the truth or you finally say, “I’ve had enough. I deserve better. I am worthy of love, peace, and safety.”
Because of your kind heart, a strong desire for belonging, the fear of leaving or living alone, or lack of positive coping life skills, you may find it difficult to say good bye. You may find yourself being in the role of a servant and slave to your abuser’s desires, demands, and emotional roller coaster rides. You may be unconsciously trying to prove your worth or prove your love. You may have expectations that don’t line up with your reality. You may have invested so much time, effort, money, sacrifice, and prayer into your toxic relationship that you feel like a loser or a failure if you say good-bye. Once you hit that wall of truth that your efforts are futile, be very careful of your self-talk that can be abusive. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself credit for the courage to face the truth and protect your soul, mind, body, money, well-being, and self-respect.
Once you stop screaming in silence or numbing yourself with busyness, bargaining, illusions/fantasy, food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, sleeping, or isolation…you can begin to see and feel the reality of your situationship. Feel it, deal with it, and begin to heal.
You, alone, hold the key to your emotional and physical freedom. There is some good in good-bye. You are not giving up … you are letting go so you can grow. Pray for the strength, guidance, and courage to fight for the good and God in you. Seek support to keep you on track to move towards your freedom. Remember if that relationship or job is costing you your peace, it is too expensive.
Emotional freedom to strengthen your voice, self-worth, and and self-respect is a process that promises to help you live in more peace.
Learn from your painful teachers that you don’t have to remain in their class. You can pick up the broken pieces of your life and breath. You can learn not to repeat the same class in future relationships. You can learn that you are a child of God worthy of love, peace, safety, respect, and kindness.
I am available to be one of your life teachers. I am the Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor, author, conference speaker, life coach, wife, mother, sister, grandmother, minister of God’s love and founder of Women on the Grow, Inc.
The following is an excerpt from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s book “ShiFt Happens”
Life can be a journey or a “trip” — Are you going to be a whiner or a winner in life? An African proverb teaches, “It rains on everyone’s roof.”
The same thing can happen to two different people and they respond differently. One person can receive troubling news about their health and feel bitter, afraid, and believe life is unfair. Another one could receive the same diagnosis and feel hopeful and motivated to change their food choices and let go of any stressors in their life. One can be pessimistic and the other optimistic. One can live in fear and the other in faith. One can feel like a victim and the other can feel victorious because of their thinking, actions, surroundings, and prayer life. One could drown in their tears and fears and other could drop their long and strong anchor of faith.
It’s not always the shift situation that causes unhappiness. It’s your thoughts about it.
You may feel tired…get inspired !
Instead of thinking you are being punished…change your perspective to realize you are being PUSHED to deepen your faith, courage, resiliency, compassion, and coping skills.
Your shiFt could be a troubling marriage, parenting, seeking employment, illness, layoff, unexpected debt, looking for housing, slow business sales, a car accident, or suddenly you find yourself care giving for an aging parent. Seasons of shifting, shaking, and storming may last for a long or a short time. Your anchor of faith must be strong and long to endure your storm. Suggested scripture Psalm 46:1-3
You must be focused and yet know how to adapt to change and unexpected circumstances.
SHIFT happens! Changes will happen without your permission. In spite of a good plan and good intentions, you will need to know how to adjust, adapt, and regroup.
Don’t quit because you’re alone. Don’t quit because it’s tough. Don’t quit because you’re out of your comfort zone. Don’t quit because you’re mad. Don’t quit because you’re sad. Don’t quit because no one seems to help or care. Don’t quit because it’s taking so long. Don’t quit because you see no reward. Don’t quit because you think it’s too late. Don’t quit…stick with it. Speak victory into your life. Speak success into your life. Speak determination into your life. Speak love into your life. Speak strength and courage into your life.
This post is an excerpt from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s e-book and audio book CD. To continue being inspired to overcome the SHIFT in your life, send your donation to Jewel’s Women on the Grow, Inc. 501c3 ministry click here.
Click arrow below to listen to brief audio message