Take Yourself Off the Hook

QUESTION FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM DR. FROM SHELLEY: “Dr. Jewel I’m in my 50’s now and I feel like a failure. I feel like many opportunities for love, money, career advancement and my weight image have passed me by. I feel stuck, lonely and embarrassed when I see what other people around me have accomplished. I was recently laid off my job and too ashamed to tell my family and friends about my fears and financial struggles. I even missed going to our family reunion to avoid the questions and judgment. Just to get out of the bed each day is a struggle.  Thank you so much for your web site and the weekly newsletters you send out. I have been saving them for years but now I need to know how to start applying what you write about. I’m sorry I missed your recent speaking engagement in Atlanta but this heavy depression has me on lock down. Did you record your message?”

JEWEL DIAMOND TAYLOR’S RESPONSE: Thank you Shelley for writing me. No, my recent Atlanta message was not recorded. Based on the feedback from my audience, I believe you would have been inspired and blessed to pull yourself out of this pit. We all make mistakes, fail, procrastinate, make the wrong turn, miss golden opportunities and make wrong decisions at some point. We all go through a painful time of reassessing our lives and realizing we were either misinformed, uninspired, in denial, busy helping others, lazy, disconnected from the right people, scattered our time, love and money on the wrong things or wrong people, hoping someone would come along and save us or do what needed to be done for us.
downward spiral of emotions     If you internalize, obsess and judge yourself based on a failed marriage, being single, your bank account, your education, your dress size, your past of missed opportunities or social/economic status, you will never grow out of your negative self-evaluating patterns, self-loathing and down spiraling emotions.

You will only grow out of this from desperation or inspiration. Unfortunately, most people are not motivated by pleasure but their painful circumstances.      Your message sounds like your pain is motivating you to seek help. It’s time to take yourself off the hook. You gain nothing by being angry with yourself, resentful, depressed, critical or defeated.  The opposite of beating yourself up is practicing self-care, compassion and self-motivation. I promise you…you are not alone. Shame is a powerful stronghold, but this chain can be broken. You have new choices and new steps you can take. I pray you TAKE YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK.off the hook

Read inspirational/motivational books like mine and other authors. Declare that you will encourage yourself.  Your worth is not just measured by what you own or accomplished or your marital status.  You are worthy in God’s sight. You can still leave your mark. You can still touch lives and find inner peace.  You can still move forward, not on a broken road, but a blessed road of faith, action, courage, purpose, humility and love.  If you can’t get excited and motivated about your own goal…enlist to help, assist, volunteer and share your experiences, time and talents as a dream pusher for a person/organization you believe in. Open your windows, listen to some upbeat music, make your gratitude list, nurture new relationships, make an appointment with me for some awesome, life changing, effective and healing coaching/counseling.  I know how it feels to grieve in your heart for people and opportunities lost.   Shake out your garment of despair that’s been hanging on that hook. Put on a garment of praise.  The book of Isaiah says to those who grieve in Zion that God will give you a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  Thank God for His grace and mercy which as brought you this far.  You are still here.

morgan freeman

As Morgan Freeman’s character says in the movie Shawshank Redemption,“Get busy living or get busy dying…..there ain’t nothing in between.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Stay in the light.”                ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, http://www.DoNotGiveUp.net, 323.964.1736, e-mail me Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net

You Have 2 Brains – Which one are you listening to?

Did you know your body has two (2) brains?  I was reminded of this medical revelation from an experience I had 20 years ago.  I was invited to inspire women living with HIV/Aids but I was the one who left encouraged after my brief encounter and hug from a sightless man who was there as one of the social workers.  I will always remember what this blind man said to me after finishing my keynote speech at a large health conference on a Tuesday in Southern California.  This sightless man stood patiently in my long book signing line to tell me something that has remained with me for 20 years.  When I doubt my purpose or ask God if I should stick with my passion when times are difficult or the speaking invitations come in slow… I remember what he said.  When I question my decision to quit my human resources job with a pay check every week to become self-employed…I remember what he said to me.  He did not see the dress I was wearing.    He did not see my performance of sign language to a Yolanda Adam’s song “Never Give Up.”  He did not see my handouts.   He did not see all the things I prepared to visually inspire and educate my audience.  He didn’t see all the external things that I took so much time planning for or worrying what other people saw or thought about me (e.g. how I looked, how I stood, what I was wearing, my printed handouts, my hair, my jewelry, my shoes, my nails, etc.)  This sightless man standing alone without any assistance but his cane said to me, “Thank you Jewel for following your golden gut.  You have touched my spirit.  I felt your energy and I am encouraged to go on.”  WOW!!  My golden gut!

Dr. Gershon, coined the term “second brain” in 1996.  He is one of many researchers who studies brain-gut connections.  The brain controls behavior. Butterflies in your stomach (gut) rise when the brain sends a message of anxiety to the gut, which sends messages back to the brain that it’s unhappy. But the gut has been referred to as your second brain.  Your gut is where you have feelings of being; guided, warned, nervous, sad, happy, in love, or depressed.  Your stomach (gut) dictates your mood and appetite.  Your gut feelings give you warnings and sometimes you may regretfully ignore what your gut (instincts) are telling you.  Your brain and “golden gut” are connected and communicate. My golden gut feeling (instincts, emotions, true north, God’s voice) guided me to quit my job and start my public speaking career in 1984.  Sometimes I question my decision.  But for the most part I’m glad I listened to my golden gut.  That sightless man saw in me the invisible.  He helped me to remember my “why” I wanted to make a difference.  I wanted the freedom of developing my own future.  I wanted to impact people’s lives in a positive way.  I wanted to express what God had revealed to me about love, faith, courage, wisdom, healing, self-esteem, resiliency, perseverance and purpose.  I had no mentors, no web site, no clue and no money but I began following my gut.

I consulted my first brain for logic and set a goal when I should begin my new golden career.  My first brain (mental) calls it risk taking.

My second brain (emotions) calls it a leap of faith.   My first brain wanted a plan.  My first brain was full of doubt and fear.  My second brain was full of excitement and gave me courage.  My second brain compelled me to follow my dream and my heart.   If you only listen to the logic in your first brain, the fear and rational thinking may paralyze you.  If you only listen to your second brain (emotions) without consulting your first brain (logic), you may impulsively make decisions you will soon regret.

What is your “golden gut” saying to you?  I hope you are inspired to discover the golden treasures and life purpose God has for you by listening to your second brain…your golden gut.  Pray that God will guide you to find your hidden golden treasures (Proverbs 2:4) ~ by Jewel Diamond Taylor


Meet Me for Breakfast

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I have many regrets in my life.  But I do not regret following my heart, my dream, my purpose…what I think is my spiritual assignment.  I’m glad I did not stop.  I’m glad I learned how to turn my passion into a paid profession.  I have been stuck many times.  I have had shifting, shocks, sorrows, stumbles, success and surprises in my life.   I wish I could impart to everyone that I cannot motivate anyone.  All I can do is inspire others with my testimony, not just from my lips, but from my life lived in spite of the shifts.  Perseverance and remaining teachable are key.  Getting out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be stretched to cultivate the seed of greatness within you can take you to higher heights.  Association and decisions determine your destination which means the people in your life help or hinder your progress.

I will be teaching, mentoring and hosting my next “Purpose2Passion2ProfitMentoring Breakfast at the beautiful Long Beach Renaissance Hotel by the ocean, 111 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach, California.  Saturday, August 25, 2012.  I only accept 12 reservations so we can have an dynamic, up close and personal time for guests to ask me questions and for me to share my pearls of wisdom on how to turn your passion into a paid profession …especially for those in the public speaking business.

In my 25 year span of being self-employed as a conference/motivational/inspirational speaker and trainer I have gained many insights to help others shorten their learning curve.  I find many people desire to make money from their gifts, talents and passion but end up frustrated, distracted, discouraged, broke and unfulfilled.

“A note to let you know that Saturday was incredible.  On the way home I began listening to  your Pursue Your Purpose CD. I couldn’t believe how much instruction is on there.  I had to take it out of the car immediately and start over with my journal, taking small bites of the buffet of knowledge that you were offering.   Look forward to seeing you next time.” ~ Bonnie

As a Success Life Coach I have mentored hundreds of men and women on how to experience breakthroughs, clarity and success.  Here are some signs you would benefit from attending my next mentoring breakfast:

  • you’re not happy with your current life situation, but aren’t sure what to change (feeling stuck)
  • you have goals, but find it hard to keep on track, succumbing to procrastination
  • you have a passion/talent/ideas/gifts and want to be paid like a professional
  • instead of hearing me at a large conference without any contact, you prefer the personal setting where you can ask me questions and learn more
  • you are isolated and lack accountability and strategic information for growth
  • you have something important in your life that you keep thinking about, but never take any action
  • you are ready to take your life to a new level of income, creativity, purpose and super intention
Jewel speaking in front of audience
  “As one of the first women of color to speak in a male dominant speaking arena, I had no one to mentor me.  No one was willing to share or answer my questions.  I purposed in my heart that whatever mistakes I made and whatever lessons I learned, I would reach back.
One ticket $50 per person, click here to purchase your ticket
Space is limited to only 12 guests.  To register by phone call 323.964.1736 , ticket includes:
  • full delicious buffet breakfast
  • Purpose2Passion2Profit” teaching CD,
  • mentoring round table interactive teaching and Q&A with Jewel Diamond Taylor
If you have any questions call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com