Imagine you are on a beach. As you approach the crashing waves and scent of the salt water…you notice 3 men.
- The first man is constructing the most elaborate sand castles. He is intentional, focused, and feeling good about his work. He is not aware that the incoming tide will destroy all that he’s built. This man ignores the reality of the situation and is constantly surprised, upset, angry, disappointed, and feels like a victim when the sand castles return to their source.
- The second man sees the inevitability of the incoming tide and decides not to build any sandcastles–he stands unyielding and discouraged. What’s the point? His overthinking and preoccupation with the inevitable ending prevents him from enjoying the process of playing in the sand and appreciating what’s right in front of him.
- The third person is aware of the incoming tide. He knows that nothing he builds will last forever, and yet decides to build sand castles anyway. His awareness of the end sweetens his enjoyment of the present moment and increases his passion for the creative process…living and celebrating the NOW.
Attitude and perspective are everything! In fact … YOU and everything you are attached to and own will return to it’s source.
“To whom it may concern, this endorsement is my letter of reference about Jewel Diamond Taylor, but it’s really about your life, it’s about your relationship, your marriage, what you want, and how hard you’re willing to work at it. When you make a decision that it matters and that your significant other matters, you matter, and your family matters… reach out to Jewel. She can help you. She helps me and my wife. But you got to want it. You got to be willing to try hard. Be benevolent, loving, and understanding. If any of those adjectives describe you …give her a shot. She can help you. Imagine real peace in your life. It is obtainable. say this from the bottom of my heart.” – Yours truly K.L.
” I enjoy holding a space for my counseling clients to feel safe to take off their mask, armor, and boxing gloves. ” – Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
“I cannot say enough about one of Gods angels, Mrs. Jewel Diamond Taylor, Therapy Practitioner, Life Coach/Counselor, she has helped me put a ” voice” to my pain, take off the mask and start the process of healing that little girl inside of me who felt so unworthy for so long.No matter how many degrees or achievements I may have accomplished, I kept apologizing because I could not see my “value”.Dr. Jewel has helped me get to the core of my pain, where I am no longer feeling the need to apologize for who I am and that I do not need to keep trying to make everyone else happy because “my” happiness is important too. Thank you Dr. Jewel. You were born to healed hearts.” – T. S.
“Hello Mrs Jewel; I want the world to know what an amazing person you are. You are a mentor, life coach, public speaker, and a woman of character. It’s through your experiences and blessings that have allowed you to become a beacon of light for so many.I would like to share how you how you saved my marriage. My husband and I are both type “A” personalities. He sometimes moves and speaks in a way that makes me question his love for me. Dr. Taylor you showed me how to understand my husband and interpret his language of love. I almost gave up on my marriage. I mistook my husband’s actions as controlling and overbearing when all along he was trying to protect me and keep me safe. If it were not for you Dr. Taylor I would have lost the love of my life. Marriage is work and it’s not always easy but when you have tools like you gave us to navigate through your issues it’s manageable. Thank you Dr. Taylor for wisdom and understanding.” – D. T. ( Los Angeles)
May is Mental Health Month. If you have a headache, stomachache, or toothache … it’s normal to seek relief to stop the pain. No one would shame you for seeking relief. In fact, people who care about you would encourage you to seek help. Mental health doesn’t need to be discussed in whispers. It is ok to talk about it. It is ok to need help to stop the pain. We all need help sometimes. You are not alone. Help is available. I invite you to ask yourself …”How am I really doing?” “How can I get the support I need?” “Am I allowing shame and guilt to keep me silent, isolated, and hurting?” “Am I minimizing, hiding, and denying the changes in my personality during this pandemic or from a recent loss or trauma?” Please talk with your support circle. Talk with your loved ones. You are not alone. Help is available. Love, Jewel Diamond Taylor
6 Necessary Boundaries to Maintain Your Peace
Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive tough times and remain silent. Some people deal with unimaginable pain in their own life.
So, the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, or feel your life is inadequate compared to their life…remember you may not be able to endure their experience. You may not know the cost of their alabaster box. So, while someone sits before you looking calm like an ocean on a sunny day, think about this. The ocean is vast and wide. One part of the ocean can be calm while another part of the ocean could be experiencing a colossal storm. It’s happening on the same ocean.
The voice of shame and low self-esteem say, “I’m not good enough.” “Who do you think you are?” I’m not worth it.” “I’m not lovable, beautiful, smart, good, capable, etc.”
Are you frustrated and feel your progress of healing from a broken relationship, financial setback, job loss, trauma, or illness, depression, or setback in your life is not happening fast enough? Your breakthrough and healing are NOT linear. There will be ups and downs. In order to heal, you have to become comfortable facing your uncomfortable reality. Don’t depress your feelings, express your feelings. Let the feelings come. Don’t run, hide, deny, numb, or minimize your feelings. There will be moments of feeling stagnant and triggers that may cause you to feel defeated or fearful.
The support I offer through my one-on-one sessions and books are curated to inspire others to find the hope, courage, will, and strength to discover the depths of their faith, courage, and resiliency they never knew they possess.
I pray you learn to create a sanctuary within yourself, not a prison. Create inside yourself a place, a knowing, a safe place where the pain, anger, grief, and world news cannot disturb your peace.
It will not be easy, but it is possible. You can’t be rushed, forced, or manipulated to start or stay with it.
Your mind can come up with a lot of ways to protect you (e.g. blame, avoidance, denial, feeling helpless, ashamed and guilty, fake smiles, minimization, isolation, busyness, suppress or medicate your feelings with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, helping others).
You have to be ready and hopeful. You must feel worthy of healing. One day you will thank yourself for not giving up. Ready, set, grow! Stay in the light. – Jewel Diamond Taylor
“Jewel my session with you today helped me tremendously to cope in a more productive way with the harassment and racism I am experiencing on my job. I have been so angry, stressed, and fearful of losing my job. You helped me to see how to manage my emotions, guard my heart and self-worth, and to see how the game of micro-aggressions were trying to push my buttons and give them justification to fire me. With each session you have been empowering me to find my voice and stand my ground.” – K. A., Los Angeles, CA
Good morning Jewel,
On behalf of the Administrative Professionals Day planning committee, thank you for speaking during our 23nd annual FDIC Administrative Professional Day Program. We appreciated your encouraging words and advice on how to protect our mental health and adjust to change in a constantly changing world. We have received lots of great feedback and people are asking for the recording to watch it again! Again thank you for speaking at the 2021 Administrative Professionals Day Program. We truly appreciate it.
Human Resources Branch/ DOA Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Arlington, VA
Click this link and choose a topic from over 200 podcasts https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1739379.rss
Sometimes you need to seek counseling and help because the wounded or stressful people in your life won’t seek counseling. What words did someone say to you that keep ruminating in your head? Did someone mock you and you began to think you were unworthy, stupid, unlovable, undesirable, ugly, or a failure? Did someone cause you to feel invisible, unheard, or crazy? Did somone think of you as their default relationship and only with you when it was convenient for them?
A wound is a wound. The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound. The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. I’m counseling a young lady now who is devastated and almost suicidal because the man she loves broke her heart, used her, took her money, and pride. She is finding it difficult to understand that the one who broke her … can’t be the one to fix her. She is caught up in a spell. Her love hangover has her doubting herself, hiding in shame, and constantly replaying in her mind the lies and disappointments. It takes time to heal and gain a new perspective and insight about yourself from being betrayed and/or abused. Taking back your power, joy, value, and your true identity is a process. You can’t change the experience from your past but you can learn to live in the now. You can learn to change the emotion attached the experience. You can smile again. You can see yourself through a lens of compassion, worthiness, victorious, beautiful, smart, strong, and resilient.
You can go without oxgen for 3 minutes. You can go without water for 3 days. You can go without food for 3 weeks. But every waking moment you are thinking, feeling, and choosing all day. Your thoughts and imagination can be digging you deeper into a pit of despair, self-pity, shame, depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem. Once you start recognizing your train of thoughts, habits, and behaviors … you can begin to observe and redirect your thoughts to create a new narrative. Positive affirmations are good…but not enough to create lasting change. Talk therapy, meditation, healthy food choices, some form of creativity, journaling, reading, and associating with people who can help you grow are prescriptions for your mental and emotional wellness. As a counselor/life coach, I have been supporting so many women on their journey of reclaiming their personal power and breaking generational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, shame, guilt, depression, dysfunction, and emotional thugs.
I talk to many people who are seriously committed to their physical fitness (e.g. the gym, counting calories, running, walking, etc.). Just know for sure, It’s also important to gain mental and emotional fitness. This is especially critical in these times as stress factors like racism, violence, increase in care giving for the elderly, and the disruption of lives and livelihood from the pandemic are happening.
My strengths in offering life coaching are from my experience as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, entrepreneur, women’s retreat leader, my studies in psychology, and being seasoned international conference speaker.
I focus on self-esteem issues, relationships, pursuing your purpose, overcoming strongholds of procrastination, fear, shame, anger, grief, and past trauma.
The sessions are by phone or video conferencing. I offer you a fresh perspective, encouragement, clarity, wisdom, non-judgment and a call to action towards your peace, self-worth, purpose and goals. My purpose is to help you build up your faith, confidence, focus, and take steps for what you want to achieve. I accomplish this by helping YOU discover what coping skills, limiting beliefs, emotional masks, or sabotaging habits you have which are hindering your growth and happiness.
Feel free to call me to ask specific questions, 323.964.1736.
I can facilitate your session with me by phone or Zoom. Listen to my recent podcast conversation with a young lady who grew up with abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic parents, a mother with mental illness, and moved over 20 times. Her youth was very disruptive, unstable, and traumatic. She shares in this podcast how she made a choice to break out of the cycle and benefited from learning from my sessions, conferences, books, counseling, and mentoring. click here
To view a list of over 100 of my podcasts to help GROW your mind click here
There is a great myth and lie about motivation. What’s motivation got to do with you achieving your goal?… very little if you don’t take consistent action, and have the belief that what you are seeking is possible.
You may get hyped up at a conference, church, sales meeting, etc. Many times we get motivated after a keynote, seminar, or sermon and then return right back to our old way of thinking and living. The word of God teaches, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2. In order to experience transformation and success, your mind has to be transformed from stinking thinking, limitation, fear, worry, anger, shame, bitterness, resentment, selfishness, resistance, low self-esteem, past hurts, misguided and dysfunctional influences.
The energy and enthusiasm will eventually wane. Motivation dissolves and fluctuates depending on your environment, circumstances and shifts that arise. Winners develop mental toughness for discipline.
You need momentum, not motivation.
Action = momentum, feelings = motivation.
If your goal is to stay on a diet, find a job/home, save money, write a book, go to the gym, finish your college studies, meet your sales goal, save money, declutter your environment, learn a new skill set, or go on a fast…you need momentum. Consistent action, step by step, create momentum.
So you’re not feeling it … too bad. The reason so many are fascinated about amazing athletes is because they show up and push past their pain to make that touchdown, goal, slam dunk, or home run. They can’t afford to take their feelings with them when it’s game time.
You don’t have the luxury to allow your feelings to get in the way and sabotage your plan, progress, intentions, goals, purpose, blessings, rewards, and breakthroughs. Feelings will fool you and paralyze you. Feelings can lie and stop you. Feelings can put mud in your wings. No wonder Solomon taught us in the Bible to guard our hearts.
The beginning task of going after a goal may seem emotionally/physically painful, awkward, or inconvenient. You hit a psychological ceiling and sabotage your momentum to complete a task .
You may feel like you are missing something.
You may be tempted to stop.
You may feel incompetent, ashamed, unworthy, or too afraid to ask for help, go on that interview, or make that call.
You will feel uneasy because you are out of your comfort zone.
You may hate; eating certain foods, doing certain physical exercises, meeting new people, going to new places, starting a new project or business, driving long distances, changing your routine, doing paperwork, changing who you gets your time, or downsizing your spending.
If you remain steadfast to meet your goals even though you don’t enjoy it…now that’s truly a motivated person. Be aware that your brain will resist new habits. You must be consistent and steadfast to re-map your mind to follow a new path … a path that leads to success.
If you get up and still do what you don’t like because;
you want to accomplish that bodyweight goal,
you want to increase your savings to purchase that car, home, or become debt-free,
you want to restore your health,
you want to travel,
you want to retire,
you want to increase your credit score,
you want to graduate,
you want to be a homeowner,
you want to start your business, you want to reach a sales goal… if you don’t stop anyway… then you are truly motivated.
Consistent momentum of sticking with your plan is the key. Stick, don’t quit.
Don’t believe you are a failure because you are not feeling pumped, excited, and motivated all the time to do what you need to do. Enthusiasm will come and go. You can’t have fear and focus at the same time. Procrastination is your thief. Your consistent steps and dedication are the keys to achieving your success
Redefine what motivation looks like and feels like. As you keep the main thing, the main thing, even though it is painful, and you feel like you’re missing out on that shoe sale, that party, the pizza, the candy, the donuts, or that temporary high…your discipline and consistent momentum will give you a great emotional payday.
Watch out for your landMINDs that will trip you up and destroy your momentum (e.g. distractions, procrastination, low self-worth, dream killers, energy vampires, sleep deprivation, concerned about other people’s expectations, poor nutrition, past experiences, perfectionism, feeling unworthy, too much TV, social media). One day you will thank yourself for NOT giving up.
excerpt from e-book “GOALMind Power – Pearls of Wisdom” by Jewel Diamond Taylor, click here to receive this amazing and helpful resource for your toolbox for success $11.99 click here to receive your copy
Jewel, I want to continue learning on a regular basis from your treasure chest of knowledge. I want to prioritize my time, effort, and dedication to live my best life. Please sign me up to participate in your on-line GoalMind Academy.
For info to register. email JewelMotivates@gmail.com
watch video message below
Thinking out loud,..
During my time of stillness, reflection, and missing family and friends…I have NO regrets. I am glad I already spent my life;
1. Showing my love and appreciation to others.
2. I always showed love by hugging my family and friends so I don’t feel regrets if I don’t see them for a while.
3. I didn’t procrastinate about traveling. I have a lot of travel memories to keep me warm.
4. I know how to cook. I’m not missing fast food or risking my health.
5. I always had the habit of reaching out to others.
6. I always prayed and meditated which keeps my anxiety down.
7. I am an ambivert so I am not restless staying home.
8. I learned coping skills so I don’t need a crash course.
9. I have plenty of books in my house to read.
10. I already practiced morning rituals of stretching, nasal cleanse, daily herbal supplements and drinking water without ice.
11. Losing many loved ones taught me to be resilient and appreciate each day, even in a crisis. I know life is fragile. Losing my parents, in-laws, friends and my 38 yr old son JJ taught me about the impermanence of life. My mental toughness, faith in God, and past pain have taught me to accept the uncertainties and the unpredictable suffering in life and to also expect miracles.
12. I’m grateful for the technology and awareness in the past to take many videos and pictures with my phone. Re-visiting them is my self-care and acts of self-soothing. I continue to take advantage of real-time video apps to see my loved ones.
13. Stress can bring out the worst or the best in people. I thank God for discernment, protection, peace, resiliency, emotional wellness, and feet to my faith.
Wash your hands, be safe, pray, be kind, conserve your energy, be hopeful and practice gratitude,
Jewel Diamond Taylor