It will not be easy…but it is possible

Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive tough times and remain silent. Some people deal with unimaginable pain in their own life.

So, the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, or feel your life is inadequate compared to their life…remember you may not be able to endure their experience.  You may not know the cost of their alabaster box. So, while someone sits before you looking calm like an ocean on a sunny day, think about this.  The ocean is vast and wide.  One part of the ocean can be calm while another part of the ocean could be experiencing a colossal storm. It’s happening on the same ocean.

The voice of shame and low self-esteem say, “I’m not good enough.” “Who do you think you are?” I’m not worth it.” “I’m not lovable, beautiful, smart, good, capable, etc.”

Are you frustrated and feel your progress of healing from a broken relationship, financial setback, job loss, trauma, or illness, depression, or setback in your life is not happening fast enough? Your breakthrough and healing are NOT linear.  There will be ups and downs. In order to heal, you have to become comfortable facing your uncomfortable reality.  Don’t depress your feelings, express your feelings. Let the feelings come. Don’t run, hide, deny, numb, or minimize your feelings.  There will be moments of feeling stagnant and triggers that may cause you to feel defeated or fearful.

The support I offer through my one-on-one sessions and books are curated to inspire others to find the hope, courage, will, and strength to discover the depths of their faith, courage, and resiliency they never knew they possess. 

I pray you learn to create a sanctuary within yourself, not a prison.  Create inside yourself a place, a knowing, a safe  place where the pain, anger, grief, and world news cannot disturb your peace.
It will not be easy, but it is possible. You can’t be rushed, forced, or manipulated to start or stay with it.
Your mind can come up with a lot of ways to protect you (e.g. blame, avoidance, denial, feeling helpless, ashamed and guilty, fake smiles, minimization, isolation, busyness, suppress or medicate your feelings with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, helping others). 

You have to be ready and hopeful. You must feel worthy of healing. One day you will thank yourself for not giving up. Ready, set, grow!  Stay in the light. – Jewel Diamond Taylor

May be an image of text that says 'If you don't love yourself, you'll always be chasing after people who don't love you either.'

“Jewel my session with you today helped me tremendously to cope in a more productive way with the harassment and racism I am experiencing on my job. I have been so angry, stressed, and fearful of losing my job. You helped me to see how to manage my emotions, guard my heart and self-worth, and to see how the game of micro-aggressions were trying to push my buttons and give them justification to fire me. With each session you have been empowering me to find my voice and stand my ground.” – K. A., Los Angeles, CA

Good morning Jewel,

On behalf of the Administrative Professionals Day planning committee, thank you for speaking during our 23nd annual FDIC Administrative Professional Day Program. We appreciated your encouraging words and advice on how to protect our mental health and adjust to change in a constantly changing world. We have received lots of great feedback and people are asking for the recording to watch it again! Again thank you for speaking at the 2021 Administrative Professionals Day Program. We truly appreciate it.

Human Resources Branch/ DOA Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Arlington, VA

May be an image of 3 people, including Jewel Diamond Taylor and text

Click this link and choose a topic from over 200 podcasts https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1739379.rss

Updates April 18, 2021

Change is – a different way of doing

Transformation is – a different way of being

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image.png

If you have a cold, the flu, a cut, stomach ache, head ache or nausea… you probably have some of these in your medicine cabinet. But do you have the tools to deal with your emotional pain of worry, shame, childhood abuse, anger, depression, regrets, grief, disappointments, loneliness, feeling unworthy, fears, doubts, low self-esteem, procrastination or feeling stressed?
When we are hurt physically in our bodies…we don’t hesitate to seek relief. But why do we ignore our emotional pain (mind/heart)?
Fear of being judged and ridiculed by your family, friends, church, job, and society can make feel shame…which only complicates and prolongs your ability to heal and thrive.
Did you realize your emotional pain undiagnosed, not treated, denied, suppressed, or ignored could be the cause of your unhappiness, sickness, broken relationships, addictions, weight gain, insomnia, and joyless living? What’s in your “wellness cabinet?” What emotional wounds do you have?

  1. Cuts, nausea, depression and headaches from caused by rejection and heart ache.
  2. The relationship muscle weakness of loneliness. The longer you go without relating closely to others, the more difficult it becomes to reestablish contact with new people, or even get back in touch with the old friends you’ve drifted away from.
  3. Broken bones of loss and trauma can shatter and destroy your life, relationships, career, and health. Your post traumatic stress untreated can cause you to make assumptions about the world and feel that it’s not as safe a place as you once thought. I will continue sharing more of my list 7 points about this message of emotional healing next week in my Master Class “The Filling Station” Sunday, April 25, 3:00 PM (Pacific)…6 PM (Eastern)
    Today, Sunday, April 18, my topic is “The 12 Seats in God’s Waiting Room” to register, email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Upcoming speaking engagements

Wednesday, February 21 – FDIC Administrative Professional Day

Saturday, May 1 – Wellness Group 20th Annual Virtual Healthy Lifestyle Forum – Free – register at https://twg20thannualhealthylifestyleforum.eventbrite.com

May be an image of 6 people, including Michelle Moore Bell, Cookie May and Jewel Diamond Taylor and text

Saturday, June 5 – Being About My Sister’s Business, Azure Hotel and Suites, Ontario, CA

May be an image of 2 people, including Jewel Diamond Taylor and text

Remember to listen to my popular podcast. Additional audios are added frequently. Thank you for listening, supporting, and sharing this link https://jewelspodcasts.buzzsprout.com

To schedule your one-on-one counseling or coaching by phone or video, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

May be an image of text that says 'courageous wise grateful loving gifted empowered possibility thinker curly beautiful honest confident mahogany cinnamon chocolate joyful creative focused curvy successful praying divine active a precious jewel in God' sight loved resilient powHERfull blessed wealthy favored proactive that's ΜΕ honey healthy getting up WomenOnTheGrow.org'

6 TYPES OF BOUNDARIES to KEEP YOUR PEACE OF MIND AND MONEY

Watch out for the “boundary bullies”.

At first, you may feel selfish, embarrassed, stress, or mean when you start to have boundaries.  It will take time and determination.  Protect your self-esteem, time, body, energy, goals, money, and peace of mind.  One day you will thank yourself for finding your voice and value.
1. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I am not comfortable talking about my; past, weight, lifestyle, grief, decisions, surgery,  emotional pain, recent conflict,  job, etc. right now.
b. (In the case of avoiding drama, conflict, or awkwardness…”I will not be able to attend, but thank you for asking me.”)
c. I do not deserve to be treated or talked to like that.
d. Gossip, secrets, drama, trash talk and intense conversations are emotional dumping. I am not your dumping ground.
2. TIME BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)

a. I can’t help you right now. I need to stay on schedule and focus. I have some commitments to keep. Is Thursday a good time for you?

b. If you are going to be late, text or call me.

c. I would love to attend, but I have a prior commitment I want to honor.

3. PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say
a. If you need to use my things, please ask first.
b. I feel disrespected and uncomfortable, you can’t touch me there.
c. Thank you, but I am uncomfortable hugging or shaking hands.  I’m not ready for intimacy.
4. MONEY BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. Because of my money priorities and obligations, I cannot answer your request. I will be praying with you that your needs will be met.

b. If I do choose to help, it is a loan and not a gift.
c. I do not discuss my income with others. I will not ask about yours.

5. RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. My relationship with my spouse, children, boo, ex, or parents are not open for discussion.

b. I know you care, but it is my personal business.

6. TOPIC BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I don’t discuss my politics, religion, or personal business here.
b. I don’t think that was funny or appropriate.
written by Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.

click arrow to watch your “Success PushUPs video” less than 2 minutes

I appreciate Jewel’s personal and spiritual development messages and wish to send a donation
to her CashApp… $gratefulJDT or click this link paypal
To hear the thought for the day call.  310.526.2552
Call 323.964.1736 or email – Jewelmotivates@gmail.com to schedule one-on-one coaching/counseling by phone or zoom.

Momma didn’t believe me

RECENT COUNSELING SESSION WITH

THE SELF-ESTEEM DR.

CALLER: Jewel I am used to giving and showing up for others but I find it difficult to let others in and see my hurts.
JEWEL: Unfortunately, many women like you are used to being the giver and ignoring their own needs. How are you feeling? What shall we focus on today?
CALLER: I feel like I am not enough in so many areas in my life.
JEWEL: Did something happen to you recently or in your past that caused you to feel this way?
CALLER: When I was a child I was sexually molested. I told my mother but she didn’t believe me. I was dismissed.
JEWEL: No wonder you feel invisible and lack trust in others. Your inner child adapted to her trauma, betrayal, and feeling unheard by shutting down and not feel worthy of asking for help…especially when you felt unprotected by the main person you thought would help you and she didn’t. So why would you expect total strangers to help you?
CALLER: I tried so many ways to earn her love and they never seemed to be enough. I have college degrees and other achievements and I still felt like I was never good enough. She was a drama queen and my siblings and I were like a stage for her performances. Later as an adult, she did apologize for not being the best parent when I was a child. I do forgive her.
JEWEL: In spite of your “gold stars” you became a people pleaser and silent sufferer. You buried your hurts alive and now they are surfacing because you need to transform your thinking and re-parent yourself. You’re not alone in becoming an adult craving your mother’s love and attention to no avail. As you pour your time, money, energy, achievements, hopes, and tears into someone who is also hurting, it is like pouring into a bucket that has a hole. You can never do enough to fill or satisfy her. Many of us suffer from multigenerational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, separation anxiety, etc. It didn’t start with you. It started with your mother, her mother, and her mother and so on. We have some work to do and I am grateful and honored you trust me, my experience, and my dedication to empower my sisters.

To reserve your one-on-one time with Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr.

call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Image may contain: Jewel Diamond Taylor, text that says 'The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor'

What triggers you?

QUESTION: Why do you emphasize teaching emotional health in your talks, books, and coaching/counseling?

ANSWER: Many triggers that are not understood or healed sets off an old memory. These triggers can sabotage your relationships, job, marriage, goals, maturity, peace of mind, and create addictions. We have a tape of everything and anything in our brain that has ever happened to us. Triggers can cause a flashback of a time that was traumatic for you. Often these flashbacks are induced by your five senses. When this happens, it takes us back to a time when we first felt upset. One of my main triggers that I am aware of, developed when I was 7 years old when my mother left my father and moved our family from my birthplace in Washington DC on Otis Street to Magnolia Street in Compton, CA. The trauma of separation and seeing the very intense drama of crying, screaming, and arguing unfold and seeing the emotional pain of my father separated from his wife and children is something that still triggers me in many ways. That experience ended my childhood of playfulness. I became an “adult child” unknowingly taking on the responsibility of the peacemaker, rescuer, fixer, and nurturer. That experience is an implicit and strong memory. I am triggered when I see others in pain. This trigger, on one hand, taught me compassion for others and on the other hand, I have learned that I can’t always help and respond to everyone’s pain. The awareness of my trigger helps me to have a healthy balance.
You may have an unconscious memory (eg. divorce, abuse, rape, poverty, job harassment, fight, loss of a loved one, prison, military, foreclosure, car accident, parents addiction, embarrassment, shame, childhood neglect) that triggers you and you don’t understand why certain people, things, voices, smells, or sounds set you off or cause you to withdraw, act out, drink, eat, escape, shop, argue, or rebel.
Unresolved trauma can stunt your growth, peace, and emotional/mental stability.
My books, keynotes, and counseling/coaching style help my clients/audiences to connect the dots between their triggers, behaviors, beliefs, habits, choices, past trauma, environment, programming from family/culture/society, expectations, and results.

I am offering my webinar Saturday, Apri 25, 2020

1:00 pm (pacific time)

only $20.20 per person  click here to register

Call me for your one-on-one video or phone session, 323.964.1736 or email Jewelmotivates@gmail.com
I will return to face-to-face sessions when this shutdown is over.


Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?

“Are you introverted? Are you the hyper one or do you feel social activities are exhausting? Are you the talker or the quiet one? Are you fine staying home or are you a social butterfly? Do you try too hard to fit in? Do you feel out of touch with the people you work with?  Does your family think you are the “odd one”?  Do you enjoy different activities than your peers around you?  Do you spend your time feeling like you don’t fit in?  Do you feel like everyone around you has a better social life? Do you feel people just don’t “get you”? Do you worry too much about what other people think? Do you feel out of place in your job, church, or family?
Start being confident about your unique personality. Own it.  Don’t apologize for your taste, talent, time, and truth.
Your emotional wellness comes from being confident in yourself and not seeking approval from others.
You can’t please everybody.  If you realize that you do have some anxieties, past trauma, self-esteem issues or have traits that create social awkwardness and isolation…be honest with yourself.  Seek help and support.  Be strong enough in yourself not to feel unworthy, invisible, defeated, rejected, or an outcast. Your tribe exists. Your personality traits, quirkiness, and strengths are your unique footprint.  So walk in it!  The more authentic you are…the more likely you will attract “your people.”  The more you honor and respect yourself, you will learn to honor and respect the differences in other people without harsh judgment.
You are uniquely created.  There is no one else like you.  It’s not your job to make people like you…learn how to like yourself.” Jewel Diamond Taylor, Conference Speaker, Author, Life Coach, Emotional Wellness Educator, The Self-esteem Dr.

Covid-19 – Deep breathing exercise tool

Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body.  (see below).

When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body. … Breathing exercises are a good way to relax, reduce tension, and relieve stress.

The next time you’re feeling anxious try this simple relaxation technique:
  • Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. …
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly, but keep your jaw relaxed. …
  • Repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes.