9 steps to forgive yourself

forgive yourself shadow    Are you holding yourself hostage, feeling stuck, feeling ashamed or feeling unworthy because of your past?
    You may have; ​trusted the wrong person, made poor financial choices, ​mistreated someone, didn’t complete your studies, had serial meaningless relationships, mismanaged your money, hold grudges, misjudged others, walked away too soon from a relationship, business or job.
     You may have; a poor credit score, babies by different fathers, had a history of addiction, never learned to speak up in an abusive relationship, misused your body, ashamed of your family, been divorced several times, lied, abused or cheated on someone, or continually beat yourself up with negative self-talk about your body image or past poor choices.  It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
     If you can’t forgive yourself, you are doomed to live in shame.  When you can’t forgive others, you live in blame. Holding grudges, shame and blame can only block your blessings.  Don’t waste your power, time and energy on dead issues.  Let go of the negative garbage in your life.   Empty your mental trash can.  Begin to write in your journal about your feelings.  Working on patterns of your behavior is often more helpful than ruminating about your regrets.
     As I began to think about mistakes I made in my marriage, parenting, spending habits, real estate I shouldn’t have sold, food I shouldn’t have eaten, things I shouldn’t have bought, places I shouldn’t have gone to, people I shouldn’t have trusted, things I shouldn’t have said, or opportunities and money I lost because of doubt, procrastination, fear or feeling unworthy…I knew I had to learn how to forgive myself.
conference speaker author workshop     Once I no longer lived in denial and had the courage to face and own up to my harmful behavior and lack of information…I was able to forgive myself.  Once I knew better, I did better.  Once I stopped blaming others or seeking quick fixes when my emotional buttons were being pushed…I began to see a “better me”.  I began to recognize the unrealistic expectations I had of myself and others.  I learned how to repent, respect and repair broken promises and relationships.  I learned to reduce ruminating about past mis-takes (e.g. thinking about it over and over again).  I resolved in my mind, heart, and choices to continually grow in every area of my life.  I am more aware of my habits and mindsets so I can learn from past mis-takes so I won’t repeat them.  I learned to reach out to others to give and receive love, compassion, and connections…which helped me to realize I am not alone and creates accountability.  Once I remembered the mercy and grace of God in my life…wow!  I knew I was the only harsh judge of myself.  Rejoice in knowing you have God’s unconditional love.
     Don’t let the past rob you of your present or future.  Peaceful and productive days will come as you make up your mind to only focus on thinking, speaking and acting in a positive way.  Work on healing any areas in your life of shame and guilt.  You must feel worthy.  This clears the path for you to experience more love, more success, more breakthroughs, more blessings and more peace.   Always remember prayer cannot change your past but it can change your heart.

Jewel Diamond Taylor, ready to speak for your conference, campus, retreat, workshop, church or workplace training323.964.1736

To schedule your one-on-one life coaching/mentoring session with Jewel aka “EmpowHERment Life Coach” call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

A Time to Dance with God

As you wake up and stretch your body and mind to prepare for the new day…remember to guard your heart from the joy and peace blockers.

Don’t take people’s criticism to heart.  Don’t be embarrassed about your past fumbles.  Remember to dance in your heart before the Lord because you are grateful for this new day.

Look carefully and you will see “dance” at the end of the word “guidance“.  When two people try to lead,  the movement is clumsy and doesn’t flow with the music.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.  The lead dancer gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

 

When someone is learning to dance for fun, they may start off feeling self-conscious, embarrassed and falling over their feet.  Some people prefer to dance without a partner and just have fun line dancing the wobble wobble or the electric slide.  Yes, it’s fun line dancing because you don’t have to wait for someone to ask you to dance. I see more and more solo dancers and fewer couples dancing in rhythm together. But to dance with a partner, it takes practice and a willingness to follow their lead.  To dance with God takes surrender and willingness.

You may feel like you are dancing alone in life, but God is dancing with you…just get in rhythm with your faith.  When I see the word “guidance” I see “G” (God), followed by “u” and “i”. “God,” “u” and “i” dance.” God, you and I dance.

When you are willing to follow the Lord’s lead and guidance, the dance with the Lord will get easier with practice.  The more you lean in, trust and dance with the Lord, the more you will stop worrying. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. 

The word of God tells us there is a time to dance and a time to cry.  As I healed through the process of grief and crying from losing my 38 yr. old son to cancer…I began to understand this scripture.  It was OK to be joyful again, in spite of my pain, without feeling guilty.  As I counted my blessings, it was time to dance again.  As I slayed the enemy of depression, worry and grief, my heart began to dance again. “You changed my mourning into dancing…” Psalm 30:12

Just like David returned from killing the Philistines and everyone was dancing (1 Samuel 18:6), you can dance as you conquer and kill the enemy within of doubt, procrastination, temptation, anger, fear, worry, addictions or hatred.  Your family and friends will dance with you and for you as you grow in your courage to slay the tricks, traps and tribulations of the enemy.

Prayer:  Today Lord I praise your Holy name.  I’m in a new season of my life. I stand on your word that  “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (Romans 8:5)

Image result for black women dancing art

I choose You heavenly Father as my partner, provider and protector.  Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and enduring love and abundance in every season of my life.   I want to follow your lead and guidance.  Thank you for endowing me with power, dominion and authority to conquer my enemies. Thank you for new life and a new season.  Thank you for lighting my path as I daily walk out of sin and into salvation.

Call to Action:

  1. Do not hold grudges or hold onto things that are out of your control. Let go of the past and forgive those that have caused you pain. Not only will you be more stressed out but you will carry an unnecessary burden upon your shoulders. Seek God for guidance and let go of the past.
  2. Be honest with yourself.  Before David asks for joy in Psalm 51:8 and 51:12, he acknowledges the weight of his wrong doing: “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:4).  The joy of repentance flows directly out of its grief.  Some people never dance because their feet are heavy with sin, guilt and shame.  If you are battling a habitual sin and you have not held yourself accountable in any way, be honest with yourself: You might feel badly about your sin, but you are not actually repenting of it. Repentance is more than remorse — it means change.
  3. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for.  Listen to some upbeat music that makes you want to tap your feet and move your body.  Dance before the Lord. Your physically body movements can change your emotional body from sadness to gladness.

Are you dying on the inside?

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http://donotgiveup.net/MotivationAudioArchives.htm

I have known of a couple of people who told me clearly they had a “near-death” experiences. This phenomena is usually reported after an individual has been pronounced clinically dead or very close to death.  They speak clearly about how they felt and what they saw.  They report feeling a sense of peace, well-being, painlessness, positive emotions and a sense of removal from the world.

But I also know of people who have had “near-life” experiences.  They came close to experiencing joy, passion, new beginnings, love, vibrancy and optimism.

Instead of doing…they are distracted, dreaming and focusing on disappointments.  Instead of living and acting on their spiritual impulse to create…their courage dies,  their faith dies, their trust dies and their confidence dies.  Depression and pain can numb you and place you in an emotional coma or paralysis of analysis.

Indictments, hurt, abandonment, rejection or jealousy from your past can cripple you and you eventually flat line emotionally…no joy, no dreams, no confidence, no purpose, no worth and no faith.Emotional and Spiritual CPR

One of the ways to breathe life into your dreams and purpose is to surround yourself with people who are fully alive.   Build your faith and sense of worth by dealing with any sense of shame, guilt or fears.

Arrest the thief called procrastination.  Get out of any comfort zone of defeat, a rut or what’s the use attitude.  Don’t just stick your toe in the water.  Jump in!  The water will be cold and startling at first.  But the longer you stay in, the more your body will adjust.  Become super-intentional with your thoughts, emotions and actions to be resilient and proactive after any season of challenges, loss, setbacks or pain.   Open up your lungs and breath.  Open up your mind and believe again.  Open up your journals and inspirational books.   Give yourself spiritual and emotional CPR before you flatline.   Life is calling you.  Life is a gift. Endure it, embrace it, enjoy it, excel it and exhale all the hurt so you can inhale all of God’s power.

Broken to be blessed

     glass blowing

“The glass blower knows in the heat of the beginning, any shape is possible.  Once hardened, the only way to change… is to break.” ~ Mark Nepo

“This profound quote above reminds me that in the beginning of our lives as children, we can take on any shape as God, family, friends, school, church, etc. breathes life into us. They influence the shape of our lives. Our early habits, hurts and history of relationships and beliefs shapes our lives. Our hurts, setbacks, disappointments, limiting thoughts and bitterness can make us hard like glass. Life’s hurts, changes and losses can break us and re-shape our thinking, faith, and beliefs. Sometimes people only change after being broken by divorce, death, debt, disease or disappointments. Being broken by life’s circumstances should humble you and not hardened you. Suffering and pain can break your heart and soul wide open to be more alive, awake and aware of God’s grace. Everyone at some point in their lives will be broken and changed…either changed for the better or changed becoming bitter.

 I encourage you today to not let unfortunate circumstances and seasons harden your heart like glass. Be flexible. Be teachable. Be open to change. Develop courage and faith to stand. If you have been broken, allow the Master to blow new life into you, transform your thinking and reshape your life into a new vessel. Let God do a new thing in your life. (Isaiah 43:19).

You can be broken but still blessed.”  ~ by Jewel Diamond Taylor, http://www.DoNotGiveUp.net

Trust the process

    “Transforming your life in any area is a process.  Sometimes your past poor choices, past hurt or past setbacks can cause you not to trust; 1) yourself, 2) others, 3) trust God, 4) trust who God sends to help you or 5) trust the process that faith requires for your transformation.

       Healing from loss, illness, abuse, divorce, death, disease, disappointments and grief is a process.  Forgiveness is a process.  Losing weight is a process.  Recovery is a process. Finding a job/home/right relationship is a process.  Birthing your business/ministry is a process.  Writing a book,  becoming debt free or completing your studies is a process.   Don’t be easily discouraged in the process. Faith is a journey that requires  trust.  Trust that once you decide…God will provide and guide you on the path.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

journey of faith

 ” Do not falter at this critical moment, for you are in a time of specific progression to an explicit place in the Spirit.   It is important that you refuse to get discouraged in this process and that you resist and overcome the urge to quit. Be strong and take the time to renew your faith in Me, to bring you through every challenge in victory, says the Lord. I am the victorious one, and you belong to Me.  Be strong and stay focused on things that actually matter–things of eternal value.  Do not get distracted from abiding in My presence, says the Lord.  Stay present with Me.  Then, everything else will be taken care of as you move in the power of My Spirit.  Put first things first every hour.  Feed on things that have spiritual substance. 

Keep an overall sense of where you are and what I have called you to do.  Refuse to allow the enemy to get you bogged down by paying too much attention to details.  The most important thing is to maintain spiritual focus and constantly strive to put My kingdom first in your life, says the Lord.  Everything else will follow in perfect order.  ~ Marsha Burns

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Psalms 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.