God, can we talk?!

OK now…please listen God! You got me up writing all these messages and feeling a lot of “aha” moments.  Am I writing these messages for others…or is it really helping me!  I think it’s both.

The revelations and insights are helping me and making me feel some kinda way.  Why didn’t I know these things before?  How many people have I hurt?  How many people have I helped?  Have I been my own worst enemy and saboteur?  Will I get better?  Will I have the right words to express what I am discovering?

I am learnig to process my past poor choices and emotional pain, mourn, feel, deal, heal, grieve, repent, and grow from them.

Everytime I feel I have grown on one level of my life, I find myself back in Your operating room to remove a cancerous thought, unrealistic expectation, belief, or habit.

I am no longer resisting the spiritual surgery.  I am healing and learning at the same time.  The process hurts at first before I begin to feel better.  I have to give up denial, worry, procrastination, and doubts.

It’s hard sometimes to fight a battle when I’m still limping from the last shot, cut, fall, kick, loss, or wound.  Yes, God, I’m learning to be resilient and practice what I teach.

I am reading this morning Isaiah 42:3 and encouraged by this scripture that says, “a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not quench because even though many of us are heavy laden with doubts, fears, and wounds…we will bend but not break, because of Your divine love.  Even though our inner candle is smoldering and about to go out, Your grace revives the flame of purpose, hope, and strength within us.

Lord, I need Your guidance to share the essential pearls of wisom I have excavated from the depths of my soul, experience, self-awareness, prayer, and study.

I thank you Lord for Your grace, mercy, and marvelous light which are accelerating my growth and peace.

Thank you for my “aha” moments enabling me to see more clearly how to overcome bitterness, depression, doubts, worry, and unrealistic expectations from others.

I get it God…every marriage needs a balance between intimacy and independence.  Beginnigs and endings will happen…friends, customers, and business associates will come and go.  My body needs healthy foods, water, and exercise.  I must see, seek, and seize opportunities beyond my comfort zone.  Continue learning so I can pass any of my tests (i.e. patience test, wilderness test, grief test, character test, courage test, faith test). Trust in Your divine order.  Remember my prosperity commandments.  My thoughts and words have power to create what I focus on.  I must keep the main thing…the MAIN THING!

Thank you for placing so many wonderful people in my life who see me and value my journey and purpose.  I will stay in the light.

 

 

When “depression” really means something else

Have you noticed how the word “love” is often overused for all types of relationships?

The following are words to be more specific in regards to that warm feeling of love…

favor, like, partial, preference, relish, craving, crush, desire, infatuation, longing, lust, yearning, eagerness, enthusiasm, fervor, zeal. appreciation, esteem, estimation, regard, respect, adoration, adulation,

I also believe the word “depressed” is often overused or a person’s emotional state of mind can be misunderstood and misdiagnosed.

I saw a Jeff Foster quote on-line stating, “The word “depressed” is spoken phonetically as “deep rest”.  (Stop and say “depressed” out loud.)

WOW…this quote triggered my thoughts about depression. Many times I have quickly labeled myself as depressed when actually I was really feeling spent, exhausted, overwhelmed, and in great need for time to; rest, decompress, unwind, detox my mind, let go, get off the hamster’s wheel, process my anger, grief, and disappointments, cancel some appointments, unplug and fast from social media, delegate some tasks, say “no” to one more request, take a nap, meCation, stayCAtion, or vaCation.  When you have gone through some significant life changes i.e. divorce, death in the family, job loss, health issues, caregiving, new job, business owner, new city, marriage, etc…the stress in your body keeps track.  If you don’t rest periodically to regoup and renew…you will be forced to stop because of illness, accidents, or anxiety.

I have noticed when I am avoiding conflict, decision-making, resisting change, or in denial about situations I cannot control or change, the default story in my head says, “I am depressed.”  No Jewel.  Stop Jewel!

There comes a time when I need to rest my mind from; worry, anger, the woulda, coulda, shoulda thoughts, delays, disappointments, doubts, demands of my time, and the constant streaming of violence and hatred in the news.  I need to remind myself to recite the Serenity Prayer.

As a public speaker standing in front of all types of audiences, counselor, life coach, wife, mother, grandmother, founder of my Women on the Grow 501c3 ministry, a prayer warrior, a frequent flyer, a sensitive and empathic person, I must remember that my mind is like an emotional sponge absorbing a lot of mixed energy.  Because of my sensory overload … on a regular basis, I need to squeeze out all the stimulation, toxic energy, thoughts, and feelings that are weighing heavy on my mind.

You may be working hard, volunteering, parenting, care giving, traveling a lot, and studying which leads to sleep deprivation.  Taking time to re-evaluate your lifestyle choices, habits, pace, relationships, faith, and priorities can be your time of spiritual and emotional renewal.

Before you turn to medication to numb your feelings or shut down and isolate yourself….rethink your choice.  What you think is depression could really be an invitation for deep rest, renew, and restore your mind, body, and spirit.

Jewel please send me your e-book to continue reading more of your inspiration.  Click to offer donation 

Contact info to book speaker or book one-on-one counseling/coaching, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

When there is GOOD in GOOD BYE

Click arrow to listen to the audio message

It’s hard to realize you got blind-sided, bamboozled, tricked, manipulated, or kicked in your heart by someone you trusted or that someone took your kindness for weakness, that you were ill-prepared to deal with dysfunctional, untrustworthy manipulators, abusers, or didn’t know how to cope with conflict.

Its hard to face the truth that a relationship or job is futile, hopeless, or even dangerous to your emotional, mental, or physical health.

I have come to realize that people are really my life teachers. Most of my growth and hard lessons in self-esteem and finding my voice I learned from my marriage.  The past friends that hurt me … I now see as my teachers.  My children are my teachers.  I had to learn a lot about parenting, boundaries, respect, and self-worth from my own family and friends.  Some lessons were hurtful and some helpful.

Believe it or not…all of your relationships are your teachers.

The joy and the pain from your family, friends, co-workers, lovers, marriages, haters, helpers, energy vampires, besties,  supporters, business partners, boss, role models, leaders, pastors, mentors, parents, and children are your teachers.

You will either feel hurt, hindered, or helped by them. Hopefully you will learn and grow from them.

Did you learn from your “life teachers” to:

. have boundaries

. build your self-esteem

. speak up and find your voice

. speak a new language, new professional skills

. be more discerning in choosing friends

. have more courage and determination from the people who said “no” to you

. pay more attention to the red flags that are warning signs

. cook, dance, travel, improve your money habits

. ask more questions and be less impulsive when dating

. family traditions, communication, trust issues

. guard your heart from narcissistic, selfish, insecure, abusive, and dysfunctional people?

Do not beat yourself up for getting involved with a  narcissist, manipulator, abusor, untrustworthy, or immature person.  Wake up from the denial and gaslighting that made you think you were crazy, unworthy, stupid, unlovable, invisible, or damaged goods.

When you have been told you are no good or when you have felt invisible, incompetent, and insignificant, it is like being hypnotized and put under a spell.

Yes, I know it’s hard to break the spell…but it’s possible.  Yes, I know it’s difficult to admit you got caught and feel trapped in a painful relationship walking on eggshells.  Your mind wants to protect you from feeling pain, so your mind will resist the truth.  You will be stubborn at first to see and hear the truth because your mind doesn’t want to feel the pain of acceptance, surrender, being vulnerable, or separation.

Emotional freedom comes when you have the courage to face the truth or you finally say, “I’ve had enough.  I deserve better.  I am worthy of love, peace, and safety.”

Because of your kind heart, a strong desire for belonging, the fear of leaving or living alone, or lack of positive coping life skills, you may find it difficult to say good bye.  You may find yourself being in the role of a servant and slave to your abuser’s desires, demands, and emotional roller coaster rides.  You may be unconsciously trying to prove your worth or prove your love.  You may have expectations that don’t line up with your reality.  You may have invested so much time, effort, money, sacrifice, and prayer into your toxic relationship that you feel like a loser or a failure if you say good-bye.  Once you hit that wall of truth that your efforts are futile, be very careful of your self-talk that can be abusive.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Give yourself credit for the courage to face the truth and protect your soul, mind, body, money, well-being, and self-respect.

Once you stop screaming in silence or numbing yourself with busyness, bargaining, illusions/fantasy, food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, sleeping, or isolation…you can begin to see and feel the reality of your situationship.  Feel it, deal with it, and begin to heal.

You, alone, hold the key to your emotional and physical freedom.  There is some good in good-bye.  You are not giving up … you are letting go so you can grow.  Pray for the strength, guidance, and courage to fight for the good and God in you.  Seek support to keep you on track to move towards your freedom.  Remember if that relationship or job is costing you your peace, it is too expensive.

Emotional freedom to strengthen your voice, self-worth, and and self-respect is a process that promises to help you live in more peace.

Learn from your painful teachers that you don’t have to remain in their class.  You can pick up the broken pieces of your life and breath.  You can learn not to repeat the same class in future relationships.  You can learn that you are a child of God worthy of love, peace, safety, respect, and kindness.

I am available to be one of your life teachers. I am the Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor, author, conference speaker, life coach, wife, mother, sister, grandmother, minister of God’s love and founder of Women on the Grow, Inc.

Jewel please send me your e-book to continue reading more of your inspiration.  Click to offer donation 

Contact info to book speaker or book one-on-one counseling/coaching, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

What to do when SHIFT happens

The following is an excerpt from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s book “ShiFt Happens”

     Life can be a journey or a “trip” — Are you going to be a whiner or a winner in life? An African proverb teaches, “It rains on everyone’s roof.”

    The same thing can happen to two different people and they respond differently.  One person can receive troubling news about their health and feel bitter, afraid, and believe life is unfair.  Another one could receive the same diagnosis and feel hopeful and motivated to change their food choices and let go of any stressors in their life.  One can be pessimistic and the other optimistic.  One can live in fear and the other in faith.  One can feel like a victim and the other can feel victorious because of their thinking, actions, surroundings, and prayer life.  One could drown in their tears and fears and other could drop their long and strong anchor of faith.

 It’s not always the shift situation that causes unhappiness. It’s your thoughts about it. 

You may feel tired…get inspired !

Instead of thinking you are being punished…change your perspective to realize you are being PUSHED to deepen your faith, courage, resiliency, compassion, and coping skills.

 

Get equipped so you can’t be whipped by stress.

    Your shiFt could be a troubling marriage, parenting, seeking employment, illness, layoff, unexpected debt, looking for housing, slow business sales, a car accident, or suddenly you find yourself care giving for an aging parent.  Seasons of shifting, shaking, and storming may last for a long or a short time.  Your anchor of faith must be strong and long to endure your storm.  Suggested scripture Psalm 46:1-3

    You must be focused and yet know how to adapt to change and unexpected circumstances.   

     SHIFT happens!  Changes will happen without your permission.  In spite of a good plan and good intentions, you will need to know how to adjust, adapt, and regroup.   

Don’t quit because you’re alone.
Don’t quit because it’s tough.
Don’t quit because you’re out of your comfort zone.
Don’t quit because you’re mad.
Don’t quit because you’re sad.
Don’t quit because no one seems to help or care.
Don’t quit because it’s taking so long.
Don’t quit because you see no reward.
Don’t quit because you think it’s too late.
Don’t quit…stick with it.
Speak victory into your life.
Speak success into your life.
Speak determination into your life.
Speak love into your life.
Speak strength and courage into your life.

This post is an excerpt from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s e-book and audio book CD. To continue being inspired to overcome the SHIFT in your life, send your donation to Jewel’s Women on the Grow, Inc. 501c3 ministry click here.

Click arrow below to listen to brief audio message

 

7 Tips – How to Self-Care Without Apology

Self-Care Pearls of Wisdom from

Jewel Diamond Taylor

 

1. Remember “No” is a complete sentence. Teach others how to respect your personal boundaries.  Guard your heart and peace of mind.  If your next decision or a request of your time, body, money, skills, or trust will take away from your peace mind…the cost is too expensive.

2. Taking care of yourself is not selfish or a luxury, it is necessary for your emotional and mental health.  Honor your emotions and don’t deny or suppress them.  Take a deep breath and assess your body, environment, and emotional triggers.  Sometimes I just simply sit in my car for an hour in a safe parking lot or even my driveway to exhale, have a good cry, get my praise on, listen to music, pray, get still, decompress, or listen to an audio book or watch a video.  I even listen to my own inspirational CDs! 

Give yourself permission to push the “pause” button.   If necessary, don’t answer every phone call, delegate duties, take a nap, stop talking, or go on a fast.   If you keep giving away pieces of yourself … there will soon be nothing left of you.  You always make sure your mobile phone is charged … do the same for your mind, body, and spirit.  Recharge your soul.

Self-care is critical for those who are caregivers for family members with special needs or aging parents.  The isolation and stress can affect your health.  Seek help and carve out some time to exhale and take care of your health before you crash with exhaustion, resentment, faith fatigue, or illness.

3. You cannot help others from an empty cup. Take care of yourself with good rest, boundaries, hobbies, water, nutritious food, some form of regular body movement (e.g. walking, stretching, gym, water aerobics) and remember to take a MeCation, StayCation, Vacation or retreat.

4. Strengthen your self-esteem and guard your heart, time, goals, money, lifestyle, and peace of mind.  No more people pleasing.  Be alert to manipulators, toxic, selfish, abusive, needy people, and boundary bullies.

5. If you are always the go-to person and the giver, learn how to receive. Delegate and learn how to ask for what you want or need.  Yes, I know how being a parent or always the one who helps friends and family in a crisis can become your identity and your norm.  Be careful of those who take advantage because you are the “rescuer” or their personal ATM.  Let go and teach others how to develop their own coping skills, responsibility, and faith in God. 

6. Gain coping skills, resiliency, faith, and self-determination to recover from setbacks, loss/grief, abuse, divorce, the empty next, surgery, loneliness, or illness.  Losing both my parents, in-laws, friends, and my 38 year old son to cancer taught me that grief has no clock.  It’s important for your emotional health to give yourself the gift of good friends, time and space to heal, and coping skills so you are equipped and not whipped by those overwhelming feelings of grief and depression.  

7. Improve your inner-self talk. Think, speak, and act as an overcomer and not a victim. “God is within her and she will not fail.” Psalm 46:5

For one-on-one coaching/counseling with Jewel Diamond Taylor aka The Self-esteem Dr. and the EmpowHERment Coach, call 323.964.1736, or emailJewelMotivates@gmail.com

21 Quotes to Get Through Tough Times

1. “When your  personal storm comes, be so rooted in your faith that you stand like a palm tree…you bend, but you don’t break.” – Jewel Diamond Taylor

2.  “Family and friends can be a tonic or toxic.  You don’t have to give up on them.  Just give them UP to God.  Being a fixer and rescuer can be exhausting and unhealthy.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

3. “Dream.  Let nothing dim the light that shines in you.” – Maya Angelou

4.  When your chest is heavy with stress, anger, fear, anxiety, and grief…stop and take a few deep breaths.  Lose the weight of other people’s burdens, expectations, demands, and opinions.  Exhale stress…inhale peace.  Exhale anxiety…inhale courage.  Exhale fear and inhale faith.  You got this.

5.

6.  “Problems grab us where we are weak.  They’re a call to get strong and master that area of our life.” – Tony Robbins

7. “All relationships go through hell.  Some GROW through it.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

8.  “Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore N. Vail

9.  “Our fatigue is often caused not by work… but by worry, frustration, and resentment.” – Dale Carnegie

10. “Lighten your stress load.  Let go of people, projects, and problems that are not your assignment.” – Jewel Diamond Taylor

11.  “Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”  – Leroy Satchel Paige

12. “Your struggle is real and so is God’s grace and mercy.  At any moment, any day, you can experience a breakthrough.  Shift happens and no one said life is fair or easy.  Trust the process. Read 1 Corinthians 2:9″ – Jewel Diamond Taylor

13.  This…too…shall pass.

14. ” It`s not the load that breaks you down, it`s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne

15. Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it.  – Unknown

16.

17. “The true test of a person’s character is how they stand during test of adversity.   Are you experiencing a crisis, conflict, or unwelcomed change?  These are defining moments which reveal your true character and faith.  Will you be destroyed, defeated, or determined to be resilient?” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

18.  God’s promises He will never leave you or forsake you.  “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:19    Put feet to your faith.  You have to get up and walk by faith.  Fear leads to paralysis.  Action leads to satisfaction. ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

19.

20.  “Quitting can become a habit.  Stick don’t quit.” ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

21.

Thank you so much for copying the link to this page and sharing on your social media.  When you send an email to JewelMotivates@gmail.com indicating you visited this web page today, you will receive a FREE e-book from Jewel Diamond Taylor.

Sister Soul Saturday – September 21, 2019

The popular conference speaker, media personality, author, aka “The Self-esteem Dr. “, “The EmpowHERment Life Coach”, and the Founder of Women on the Grow, Inc., Jewel Diamond Taylor, will be speaking and featuring a great panel of women in diverse careers. You will be inspired by the panel speakers sharing their stories of; purpose, career, resiliency, faith, family, tenacity, and reinventing their life.

1. Maria Dowd  Chief Catalyst of My Amazing Lyfe, speaker, author, coach, insurance educator, Founder of the legendary African American Women on Tour Conferences.

2. Deborah Pegues  MBA, CPA, global speaker, TV host, behavioral consultant, and bestselling author of 17 books (over 2 million copies sold) including The One-Minute Money Mentor for Women, 30 Days to a Stronger, More Confident You, and 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue.

3. Tamika Williams – Orange County Deputy District Attorney

4. Dr. Alice S. Campbell – retired middle/high school teacher, principal, district coordinator, and Founder of the Black Butterflies Book and Empowerment Circle. 

YES!  YOU CAN PURCHASE TICKETS AT THE DOOR

One ticket $35 per person or save bring a friend 2 tickets for $60

one ticket for Sister Soul Saturday

September 21, 2019 Four Points Sheraton Westside, Culver City, CA

$35.00

2 tickets for Sister Soul Saturday

September 21, 2019 Four Points Sheraton Westside, Culver City, CA

$60.00

Live out loud

 

       

    So I have shared this quick story from many podiums as a guest speaker.  I want to share it with you now…

     One day a passenger in the back seat of a taxi kept asking his taxi driver questions.  His taxi driver kept jumping and looking startled every time his passenger asked him a question.  

     Finally, the passenger asked his driver, “Why are you so nervous?”  The driver replied, “This is my first day as a taxi driver. For many years I drove a hearse car for funerals..  I’m not used to hearing voices in my car.  I’m used to carrying around dead people.”

     Unfortunately, there are too many people who are used to carrying “dead” things around (e.g. dead dreams, dead hope, dead faith, dead imagination, old hurts, old habits, old beliefs, relationships, etc.).  When they are offered a new opportunity, a new experience, a new relationship, a new idea, or a new way of living and thinking…it scares them.  They have become accustomed to living a limited and joyless life. 

     I want to encourage someone today to start living with more gratitude, courage, curiosity, creativity, adventure, and grow out of any state of isolation, misery, and old stinkin’ thinkin’.  Wake up, get up, try something new, go someplace new, break your routine, add some color, laughter, nature, and beauty into your day.  Avoid people whose hope, joy, love, kindness, and imagination has died.  You are STILL ALIVE.  Live your life more fully. 

     Your life is NOT shaped by your circumstances.  Your life is shaped by the decisions you make each day.  Create some new habits and new experiences.  Read Psalm 90:12 (Lord teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.) ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor
 
To invite Jewel Diamond Taylor to speak for your conference, church, retreat, or campus, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Know when to say “no”

“Be careful.  Like a fish caught in a net, you can become entangled in a toxic relationship, trying to support or fix someone else’s problems. Some people are more loyal and trapped in their story and identity of victimization more than they are open to experience healing, restoration, and peace.
You may find yourself saying “no” or distancing yourself from loved ones to protect your peace. This doesn’t mean you don’t care… however, it gives the other person space to develop their own problem solving muscles, faith, and healing.

You may feel a disconnect or exhausted from arguing, saving, or pretending you are not hurt.  Misery is contagious. We become drained when we take on assignments that God didn’t give us. Know your limits. Know when to say “no”.

Develop the courage to guard your heart. This helps you to avoid the lines in your relationship becoming blurred causing you to feel discomfort, invisible, unloved, anger, disrespected, resentment, and frustration.” By Jewel Diamond Taylor

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