Wake Up! Pain is your friend

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“Believe it or not, pain can be a great motivator!

Pain is the brain’s way of telling you to CHANGE something. It could be as simple as lifting your hand off the hot stove, a constant headache or being in an abusive or unfulfilling relationship. Both physical and emotional pain are signals to wake you up to change your behavior. Pain can be your friend to alert you to something that is not in alignment.

I had painful headaches all the time and didn’t want to accept the fact that I might have to take medication and stop eating French fries, bacon and cheetos.  I had stress and sleepless nights.  I ignored the wake up calls. I hit my “emotional snooze button” even though I was having excruciating headaches. Eventually I got sick and tired of being sick and tired from sleepless nights. My headaches and possibility of a stroke were my wake up call. I decided to start dealing with stress in more positive ways and reduce my salt intake. I went to the doctor and finally decided to confront this issue and starting taking low doses of medication which stopped my headaches.  I started exercising.  I was stubborn. I was procrastinating. Are you in denial about any habits that are stealing your sleep, health, confidence, joy, peace of mind and success?

If life is painful in any area of your life, do not numb yourself. Shifts and changes could be your wake up call to do something different. It could be your wake up call to wake up from denial, procrastination and paralysis of analysis.
If a relationship or job is changing…if your life is experiencing sudden shifts…if your weight is increasing and your energy is decreasing…if your body is in pain…if you are experiencing trust issues in your relationship… if you keep losing things, forgetting things and have accidents… if trouble and drama seems to constantly show up in your life… if people continually take advantage of you…if you keep missing opportunities…if you are losing money, sleep, relationships and your peace of mind…WAKE UP…GET UP and don’t go back to sleep. Don’t hit the snooze button. Life is shaking beneath your feet to get you to walk by faith and do something new.”
excerpt from “SHIFT HAPPENS” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

snooze button or wake up

Dealing with Emotional Pain

“How do you metabolize the pain and difficult passages in your life?  Inner peace and maturing in our faith happens when we learn how to be reasonably comfortable with the uncontrollable.  Our culture teaches us to run from failure and sorrow instead of teaching us how to embrace and endure the adversity and loss.

Entering into the space of grief and loss teaches us that there is a legitimate place for sorrow as well as gratitude and hope.

We think we can avoid pain and be protected by our good deeds, pedigree, religious standing, accomplishments, acquisitions and masks.  Christians become saved and believe they are immune from problems. None of us can escape our appointed time of loss, disappointment, grief and emotional pain.  Pain, loss and sorrow are the admission price we pay for the privilege of living.

What discomfort are you avoiding?
Are you willing to confront your fears? Are you learning to cope, adapt, heal, let go and surrender?
Are you resisting loss, change and pain?
Are you making permanent decisions about temporary situations?
Are you isolating to avoid feeling ashamed, embarrassed, vulnerable or feeling insecure?
Do you think acknowledging your pain makes you weak?
Are you wearing a mask to survive and fit in?
Are you afraid people will judge you?
Have you lost confidence in yourself and faith in God?
Are you willing to break open your heart and allow the pain, fears and uncertainties flow out?
Are you willing to connect with others and have the courage to tell your story and speak up? What is your pain trying to tell you?

I’m becoming friends with pain so I don’t become hostage to the pain. I’m learning to let it pass through me like a visitor but not a resident that can move in and stay. The more courage I have to see and accept the pain…the less power is has to control and defeat me.”

~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, www. DoNotGiveUp.net

Jewel’s book “Thank You Lord I Don’t Look Like What I Have Been Through”

thank you Lord book promo

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EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK

Helplessly watching my son fade away in pain from cancer so quickly, I know we were all in a battle to save his life. We were stressed, weary, in shock, sad and felt helpless and disoriented. These are the same symptoms that describe what military soldiers feel when they return home from battle, especially when the events felt unpredictable and uncontrollable. Their anxiety is called Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I don’t look like what I have been through.  Because of God’s grace I have “post-traumatic strength.”

The amazing gift of grace that I have experienced and want to share with you is that…even though I went through the most stressful and painful battle in my life (my son dying from cancer), I have not experienced post-traumatic stress. God has given me post-traumatic strength! I am resilient. I’ve been able to remain productive through my tears. Yes, there are overwhelming moments of feeling empty, nauseous, sad or bewildered… but I’m still standing. My faith was not robbed. I realized that the Lord can be with us where family and friends cannot. When you have grown in God’s grace through a spiritual battle you receive the gift of spiritual transformation. You begin to realize bad things do happen to good people. We will suffer in life. Strength comes from realizing you don’t have to suffer from your suffering. My spiritual transformation and feeling raw in my vulnerability revealed some insights which gave me strength instead of stress.

Through the bitter and sweet, the joy and pain, the bad and the good… we must learn how to ACTIVATE our faith in and out of season. We must learn how to MOTIVATE ourselves so the enemy does not overtake our gratitude, joy, health, peace, faith, hope, praise and trust in God. We must learn how CELEBRATE each day with thanksgiving, love, service to mankind and forgiveness. ”
Each time that I’ve been stretched to grow beyond my comfort zone, God was there. Each time I was stretched; I tapped into my power of creative problem solving, my flexibility, my sense of humor, my intelligence, my ability to let go, my inner strength and yes, stretched to give, be and do more than I ever knew was possible. I don’t look like what I have been through. And you don’t have to look like the abuse, dysfunction, grief, stress, sickness, struggle or heartache you have been through.

Life circumstances may be pressing you right now. Are you going to allow your challenges to stop you, stress you, strengthen you or stretch you?

Life circumstances may be pressing you right now. Are you going to allow your challenges to stop you, stress you, strengthen you or stretch you?
Miracles happen every day. Don’t let the spirit of defeat, depression and disappointment rob you of the wonder, blessings, favor, love and supernatural breakthroughs God can bring. God has given us the divine power to demolish strongholds. He is Baal-Perazim. He is the God of Breakthroughs. He wants to see us free. He wants to see us victorious, but we have to “grow” through the process.

I have been a Life Coach to hundreds of women over the years. I have heard painful stories of dysfunction, divorce, debt, disappointments and dreams deferred. Some of their stories sounded like mine. So many women, including myself, became burned out and had to WAKE UP to sadly realize we have been; asleep… living on auto-pilot… sleep walking through love-less marriages… struggling with child-rearing… grieving the loss of a parent child or friend… being silent suffers never speaking up… settling for a part-time relationship… tolerating selfish friends/relatives… walking on eggshells people-pleasing and just getting by hoping our man would change, our job would get better or our lives would just magically get better. Waking up and recovering from an emotional hangover is bitter and sweet. You can feel shocked and ashamed. But you also will feel free and finally exhale. You begin to breathe new oxygen. You begin to create a new normal for yourself.

How to Get Relief from Emotional Pain

numbing“We don’t like to feel pain. That is why pain killers, alcoholism, drug abuse, excessive eating, excessive spending, excessive busyness or isolation ruins a lot of lives. Numbing the pain doesn’t make it go away. Attempts to numb any pain is a temporary escape and band aid. People in emotional pain from loss, trauma, or loneliness can become reckless in their life choices by choosing or staying in toxic relationships, neglecting important things like paying their bills, showing up for work, neglecting their health or neglecting their family. Some people cope with their pain with denial, becoming armored, and building walls instead of bridges to connect with others. Pain is a signal that something needs our attention…something needs to be changed …something needs to be healed … something needs to be confronted or accepted.

smoke alarmPain is like a smoke alarm. If you take out the batteries because you don’t like the noise, or you never put in new batteries, your house could burn down. Don’t let your life be destroyed into ashes because you are ignoring the pain you feel in your heart, body, relationships, finances or job situation. If there is smoke, there is a fire starting. Put out the fire with action, courage and faith. Pay attention to the “alarm signals” or you will pay a heavy price.” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Interviewer: Why do you think women seek life coaching/counseling?

Jewel: I have discovered most of the women I coach/counsel have issues with their relationships, loneliness, feeling battle weary from their job, feeling isolated, experiencing too much stress/demands or too little time, money, love, support or sense of purpose.
Many of my counseling/coaching mentees are inspired to; stop procrastinating, find their voice to make key decisions, amp up their actions and confidence, deepen their faith and focus more on the real priorities that can change their lives in a positive way. They are renewed to have hope again to believe their future holds promise and possibilities.

Interviewer: Do you believe your style of mentoring/coaching/counseling supersedes the power of prayer?

Jewel: Absolutely not. What I offer only supplements and strengthens one’s personal development and spiritual faith. I believe one’s personal and spiritual strength are interwoven. It is very evident to me that the popularity of social media like Facebook and Instagram proves that people crave to be seen, heard, successful, celebrated, connected and significant. My coaching/counseling, books and my signature events gives women an opportunity to be seen, heard, understood, validated and challenged to GROW beyond their comfort zone, shame, fears and sabotaging behavior.

Interviewer: How long have you been offering your life coaching and counseling for women? Do you only coach women?

Jewel: I’m glad the popularity of life coaching has reduced the negative stigma of people seeking support and mentoring.  Long before “life coach” was even heard of and became mainstream in our culture and on TV, I was mentoring and counseling women by phone, in my retreats and my women’s life enrichment gatherings (e.g. The Enlightened Circle and now my Women on the Grow Organization). I started in 1986. Because I share my mistakes, pain, successes, stories, wisdom and experiences as a; wife, mother, sibling, author, ordained minister, self-employed speaker, life coach, columnist, media personality, author and someone who has learned to cope with the loss of both parents and my son from cancer… I believe my life journey allows me to be more relevant in connecting with women’s issues and needs. I have discovered that when a person has no hope, encouragement, faith or vision…they are more likely to return to their past unhealthy and destructive patterns of coping and living.

Interviewer: What are you planning in the near future to engage and empower women to be stronger and encouraged?

Jewel: I am known as the Self-esteem Dr. so I will be offering my “Open Heart Surgery” Relationships Clinic Saturday, July 11 in Los Angeles. I will be teaching from my book “Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain with You.” In August I will continue with my “Diamond Lane Mentoring Class for Women” in the Los Angeles area. Every October I host a women’s retreat getaway. This year it will be in Northern Las Vegas.

Interviewer: Do you only speak in California?

Jewel: Oh no!!! Over the years I have been invited to speak all over the United States, London, Jamaica, Brazil, the Bahamas, Cancun, the Virgin Islands, St. Kitts and Turks and Caicos Islands. I’m ready to travel and bring the inspiration and encouragement around the globe. Below are the states where I have been a guest speaker over the years. My goal next is to speak and/or host a women’s retreat in Hawaii. I’m seeking any contacts in Hawaii to make that happen.
Contact me by email – Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net

my speaking map

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