5 Personalities – Which one are you?

In my experience as a woman, wife, daughter, mother, sister, friend, life coach and counselor for thousands of women, I have discovered the following 5 common profiles.  I continue to grow to identify my own blind spots, personality tendencies, strengths and self-worth.
These are just some of the most common personalities I see either in myself or others. I hope this helps you to better understand the relationships around you and to better understand yourself.

1. PEACEMAKER PATRICIA you are flexible, adapt easily, good listener, you enjoy soothing others and making connections.       Blind spot: Trying to make others happy can cause you to overlook what you really want and need. Loyal to a fault while neglecting your own needs and opinions eventually creates resentment.
     Remedy: Start spending time alone periodically to hear your voice. Take off your superman(woman) cape and allow situations to work themselves out. Let go and let God.

2. STRIVING SHARON: Sharon is intense about pursuing accomplishment,. You have something to prove, you have a to-do-list, and a strong “all or nothing” focus. You have a high and sometimes hard expectation of yourself and others. This profile mask is “Excellence/perfect performance”.
      Blind spot: Developing relationships is not your strong suit and the relationships that you do have… suffer. Relaxation doesn’t come easy. Your personal achievements can give you a view of life that doesn’t allow for diversity and different points of view.
      Remedy: Be willing to grow out of your zone of routine and predictability and create more balance and spontaneity. Your books sometimes cannot teach what being around people who don’t share your experiences, status or pedigree can teach about life.

3. NURTURING NANCY: Nancy is very present, caring, empathetic and available as the “911” person in your tribe…ready to rescue others.
      Blind spot: You don’t realize you are being burned out, sick, resentful and that people are sometimes taking your kindness and availability for granted.
      Remedy: Begin to prioritize. Create more balance. Say “no” to unrealistic and unnecessary requests of your time, energy, talent, money and gifts. Develop ways to recharge your battery and nurture your soul, body, dreams and purpose without guilt.

4. I DON’T CARE CARRIE: This profile is someone who has been so independent, burned out and disappointed in the past that you have become apathetic, numb, isolated and frozen by choice to survive.                                                                           Blind spot: You are missing out on real connections that are not fake, users and abusers. You don’t see how people see you as someone who is cold, cruel, distant and without feelings. Their assessment is not true, but your body language, distance and attitude has become frozen without feeling.                                                                                                               Remedy: Begin to thaw out! Begin to trust happiness again. Begin to see that there are people around you who care and can bring some healing, joy, connection and positive experiences.

5. I NEED ATTENTION ANNIE: This profile is someone desperate, wounded and needy for any kind of attention (good or bad). Mask “I am a victim” “Nobody loves me.” “I can’t help it.”
      Blind spot: They think they are the only one experiencing pain. They don’t hear the voices of help. They feel stuck in the past. They do not see people pulling away from them. They don’t see how their “poor me” attitude, anger or whining repels the possibility of real loving relationships.
      Remedy: Be willing to hear from people who care about you even if it feels uncomfortable. Realize, through professional or authentic counseling, that your insecurity is based on fear and unresolved issues. Work on learning how to enjoy your own solitude without needing the type of relationships that only reinforce your sense of low self-worth. Learn to tend to your own needs in a healthy way without blaming and making others feel responsible for your happiness.

You may not see yourself in any of these profiles.  Of course there are many more.  Maybe this information will help you to see and understand some of the relationships in your life that are point of pain, confusion, stress or in need of help.  To schedule a one-on-one life coaching session with the Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor, call 323.964.1736 or email – Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net

Prepare To Answer Job Interview Questions

hired 5

Humble

  1. How do you feel about this opportunity?
  2. What work experiences have you had that prepare you to be successful in this position?
  3. What do you see as your three greatest strengths?
  4. What do you think is your biggest weakness?
  5. How do you learn best? How would you describe your learning style?
  6. You’ve obviously accomplished a great deal. To what do you attribute that success?
  7. We all make mistakes. When you discover that you have made one, how do you handle it?

Honest

  1. Do you think that telling a “white lie” is ever justified “for the greater good”?
  2. If things go wrong with a project, what obligation if any do you feel compelled to share with your boss?
  3. If someone else has wronged you in some way, how do you deal with the situation?
  4. Can you tell me about a recent situation where you had to share bad news with someone? How did you handle it?
  5. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to make good on a commitment that you wished you hadn’t made?

Hungry

  1. Are you satisfied with what you have accomplished in your life so far?
  2. Where do you see yourself in three years?
  3. What are your biggest personal goals? career goals?
  4. Would you consider yourself a reader? What kinds of things do you like to read?
  5. What was the last book you have read? What are you reading now?
  6. How do you make sure that you follow-up on your assignments? Do you have a system?
  7. How do you typically prepare for meetings?

Smart

  1. How well did you do in school? If you had to do it over again, how would you have done it differently?
  2. What do you wish they had taught you in school that they didn’t?
  3. Do you consider yourself a smart person? If so, why?
  4. What’s your general approach to problem-solving?
  5. How would you describe your learning style?
  6. What are some of your interests outside of work?

Divorce Survival Tips

divorce

Divorce can be a very messy, costly and stressful time.  I just wanted to share some helpful strategies for those in this dilemma from  experienced civil and family attorney Areva Martin  who offers her tips for how to protect yourself if you’re getting a divorce. Know your rights when it comes to spousal support, child support and marital assets — you’re not as powerless as you may feel.

Divorce proceedings are like war in most cases. You need to be prepared for the battle.
Before you even consider filing, consult with at least three attorneys in your area to find out upfront fees, etc. Seek good advice early on. Most cities have legal aid societies, and many lawyers offer free 30-minute consultations. Also, meet with your accountant to understand tax consequences and other issues related to valuation of property, retirement plans, stocks, etc.
Consider the timing of your divorce. If your spouse is due a bonus or raise, wait until it is paid out before filing, to avoid any claim that its not marital property. If you have been in long-term marriage, stick it out to the 10-year mark. This will help you get more of your spouse’s social security. Once you decide to get a divorce, file first. There are some advantages in a divorce proceeding for the person who files first.
Make yourself indispensible. Make sure your name is on all bank accounts, investment accounts, deeds of trust, utilities, etc. and that joint signatures are needed. This will prevent your spouse from raiding your bank accounts.
Make copies of all documents (tax returns, bank statements, credit card bills, W-2 forms, mortgage statements, loan agreements, etc.)
Track down the assets. You need to know where every penny is. This includes bank accounts, stocks, bonds, jewelry, etc. In a divorce, each spouse has to disclose all assets, but often individuals are less than forthcoming. Know what is out there as half, or some portion of it, is yours.
Protect your credit. You will need your credit to start your new lifestyle. Don’t co-sign for your spouse.
Stash some cash. You need to start saving your money well before you file. Your spouse probably already has money tucked away.
Try to negotiate temporary support payments. If you and your spouse are able to talk, try to negotiate temporary alimony and child support payments that will tide you over until divorce is final.
Separate your money. Take half of the money out of your accounts so that you will have some money to live on and so that your spouse won’t beat you to it.
Dust off your resume. Even though you may be entitled to alimony, it’s discretionary, and it won’t last forever.
Custody is decided by the courts when contested. It’s better to try to work something out before getting the courts involved. The courts have an obligation to determine who is in the best position to care for the children and what is in the best interest of the children. In most cases, assuming both parents are fit, the court will award joint custody, as law assumes children need both parents.
Don’t put the kids in the middle. Keep your kids out of it. Don’t involve them in the decision to get a divorce or any of the particulars. It’s bad for the kids, and it makes you look bad in a custody battle.
Don’t alienate your children from your spouse. Judges hate this, and it’s bad for the children.
Child support is mandated by law ” don’t worry. If your spouse has a job, and you have the kids, he or she will pay child support, and it can be garnished from his or her wages.
Document any type of abuse.
Decide who to confide in. During this planning stage, keep your discussions limited to one or two people you can trust and who you know won’t talk to your spouse.
Don’t fall for the hype. Don’t let your spouse convince you that you will end up with nothing, or you will be kicked out of the house. Your spouse doesn’t make these decisions, the judge does. Half of everything your spouse owns belongs to you.

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