Author: Jewel Diamond Taylor

6 TYPES OF BOUNDARIES to KEEP YOUR PEACE OF MIND AND MONEY

Jewel Diamond TaylorLeave a comment

Watch out for the “boundary bullies”.

At first, you may feel selfish, embarrassed, stress, or mean when you start to have boundaries.  It will take time and determination.  Protect your self-esteem, time, body, energy, goals, money, and peace of mind.  One day you will thank yourself for finding your voice and value.
1. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I am not comfortable talking about my; past, weight, lifestyle, grief, decisions, surgery,  emotional pain, recent conflict,  job, etc. right now.
b. (In the case of avoiding drama, conflict, or awkwardness…”I will not be able to attend, but thank you for asking me.”)
c. I do not deserve to be treated or talked to like that.
d. Gossip, secrets, drama, trash talk and intense conversations are emotional dumping. I am not your dumping ground.
2. TIME BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)

a. I can’t help you right now. I need to stay on schedule and focus. I have some commitments to keep. Is Thursday a good time for you?

b. If you are going to be late, text or call me.

c. I would love to attend, but I have a prior commitment I want to honor.

3. PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say
a. If you need to use my things, please ask first.
b. I feel disrespected and uncomfortable, you can’t touch me there.
c. Thank you, but I am uncomfortable hugging or shaking hands.  I’m not ready for intimacy.
4. MONEY BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. Because of my money priorities and obligations, I cannot answer your request. I will be praying with you that your needs will be met.

b. If I do choose to help, it is a loan and not a gift.
c. I do not discuss my income with others. I will not ask about yours.

5. RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. My relationship with my spouse, children, boo, ex, or parents are not open for discussion.

b. I know you care, but it is my personal business.

6. TOPIC BOUNDARIES (examples of what you can say)
a. I don’t discuss my politics, religion, or personal business here.
b. I don’t think that was funny or appropriate.
written by Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.

click arrow to watch your “Success PushUPs video” less than 2 minutes

I appreciate Jewel’s personal and spiritual development messages and wish to send a donation
to her CashApp… $gratefulJDT or click this link paypal
To hear the thought for the day call.  310.526.2552
Call 323.964.1736 or email – Jewelmotivates@gmail.com to schedule one-on-one coaching/counseling by phone or zoom.

Momma didn’t believe me

Jewel Diamond TaylorLeave a comment

RECENT COUNSELING SESSION WITH

THE SELF-ESTEEM DR.

CALLER: Jewel I am used to giving and showing up for others but I find it difficult to let others in and see my hurts.
JEWEL: Unfortunately, many women like you are used to being the giver and ignoring their own needs. How are you feeling? What shall we focus on today?
CALLER: I feel like I am not enough in so many areas in my life.
JEWEL: Did something happen to you recently or in your past that caused you to feel this way?
CALLER: When I was a child I was sexually molested. I told my mother but she didn’t believe me. I was dismissed.
JEWEL: No wonder you feel invisible and lack trust in others. Your inner child adapted to her trauma, betrayal, and feeling unheard by shutting down and not feel worthy of asking for help…especially when you felt unprotected by the main person you thought would help you and she didn’t. So why would you expect total strangers to help you?
CALLER: I tried so many ways to earn her love and they never seemed to be enough. I have college degrees and other achievements and I still felt like I was never good enough. She was a drama queen and my siblings and I were like a stage for her performances. Later as an adult, she did apologize for not being the best parent when I was a child. I do forgive her.
JEWEL: In spite of your “gold stars” you became a people pleaser and silent sufferer. You buried your hurts alive and now they are surfacing because you need to transform your thinking and re-parent yourself. You’re not alone in becoming an adult craving your mother’s love and attention to no avail. As you pour your time, money, energy, achievements, hopes, and tears into someone who is also hurting, it is like pouring into a bucket that has a hole. You can never do enough to fill or satisfy her. Many of us suffer from multigenerational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, separation anxiety, etc. It didn’t start with you. It started with your mother, her mother, and her mother and so on. We have some work to do and I am grateful and honored you trust me, my experience, and my dedication to empower my sisters.

To reserve your one-on-one time with Jewel Diamond Taylor, The Self-esteem Dr.

call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Image may contain: Jewel Diamond Taylor, text that says 'The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor'

Are you feeling the pressures of life?

Jewel Diamond Taylor2 Comments

Remember to save the date for this Sunday.  I continue to offer my weekly webinar in my signature zoom room.

For 8 months now, the ladies attending have experienced new levels of understanding about ; their gifts, breaking strongholds, creating success habits, healing issues of shame, worry, doubt, procrastination, and unhealthy relationships, making progress with their goals and life purpose, gaining insight about past pain, trauma, and childhoood experiences which keeps them living in fear, low self-esteem, and cycles of arrested development.  The “Filling Station (Romans 15:13)” has created a space for women to avoid burnout and refill their mind, heart and soul with hope and encouragement.  They are feeling seen, heard, and connected to others seeking empowerment and ways to strengthen their faith and personal development.  This experience is helpful, healing, and a positive resource for you to be able to endure this historic pandemic.  YOU are invited to be with us.

Meet and greet  2:30 pm Pacific/ 5:30 pm Eastern
The webinar begins 3:00 pm Pacific/ 6:00 pm Eastern
Once you register, the link and password will be sent to your email address.

Only $21 per person CashAppm- $GratefulJDT or

paypal.me/JewelDiamondTaylor

————————————————————————————————
I am seeking stories from my subscribers to highlight in my newsletter.
I’m interested in sharing with my audience your story of resiliency or how you are pivoting and
re-imagining your life during this historic pandemic.
Please submit your photo, contact info, and brief summary of your story to my
email address…JewelMotivates@gmail.com
—————-keep scrolling————
“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. “
Cicely Tyson
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” —Rosa Parks
“We all have dreams.  In order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” ~ Jesse Owens, world record setting Olympic athlete
————

click the arrow  to watch a short video message

Here is a great lesson to learn. If you squeeze a lemon, what comes out? Lemon juice right! Not apple juice, cranberry juice, or orange juice.
The pressure on the outside releases only what’s inside.
If you have fear, doubt, and anger on the inside of you…then when life brings you stress and pressure…the only thing that comes out is fear, worry, doubt, and anger.
“Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

The more one watches or listens to rubbish on TV, gossip, music, movies, or social media…it shapes the inner man.
What you feel, say, and do is determined by what is going into your eyes, ears, mind, and heart. What comes out of your mouth is determined by what goes into your mind. Garbage in…garbage out.
What is spilling out of you when you are feeling stressed and under pressure? Are your words and conversations full of hate, fear, worry, lack, doubt, shame, anger, and jealousy?
It is a law of nature… that what goes in must come out.
So grateful to know from my readers that my books has helped to infuse faith, peace, hope, resiliency, and courage inside of them.
Guard your heart, eyes, ears, and thoughts.
The more you read God’s word and other inspirational books, the more you will have a reserve of faith, courage, love, and hope inside of you.   So whenever life squeezes you with the pressures of bills, relationships, loss, disappointments, and setbacks…your faith, hope, and courage will be released.

The word encourage is derived from the word courage which means “heart.” It takes courage (heart) to face your problems (i.e. passing a test, providing for your family, interviewing for a job, going into surgery, admitting you need help to become clean and sober, to deal with the bill collectors, resolving or asking for what you want, or going through the stressful process of buying a home or business).

this blog is an excerpt (pages 6-8) from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s book “You Are Too Blessed to Be Stressed” available in e-book format

click here to receive your ebook – $11.99

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To inquire about scheduling a one-on-one life coaching session with Jewel Diamond Taylor, text 310.526.2552 or submit your questions in the form below.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

 

What triggers you?

Jewel Diamond TaylorLeave a comment

QUESTION: Why do you emphasize teaching emotional health in your talks, books, and coaching/counseling?

ANSWER: Many triggers that are not understood or healed sets off an old memory. These triggers can sabotage your relationships, job, marriage, goals, maturity, peace of mind, and create addictions. We have a tape of everything and anything in our brain that has ever happened to us. Triggers can cause a flashback of a time that was traumatic for you. Often these flashbacks are induced by your five senses. When this happens, it takes us back to a time when we first felt upset. One of my main triggers that I am aware of, developed when I was 7 years old when my mother left my father and moved our family from my birthplace in Washington DC on Otis Street to Magnolia Street in Compton, CA. The trauma of separation and seeing the very intense drama of crying, screaming, and arguing unfold and seeing the emotional pain of my father separated from his wife and children is something that still triggers me in many ways. That experience ended my childhood of playfulness. I became an “adult child” unknowingly taking on the responsibility of the peacemaker, rescuer, fixer, and nurturer. That experience is an implicit and strong memory. I am triggered when I see others in pain. This trigger, on one hand, taught me compassion for others and on the other hand, I have learned that I can’t always help and respond to everyone’s pain. The awareness of my trigger helps me to have a healthy balance.
You may have an unconscious memory (eg. divorce, abuse, rape, poverty, job harassment, fight, loss of a loved one, prison, military, foreclosure, car accident, parents addiction, embarrassment, shame, childhood neglect) that triggers you and you don’t understand why certain people, things, voices, smells, or sounds set you off or cause you to withdraw, act out, drink, eat, escape, shop, argue, or rebel.
Unresolved trauma can stunt your growth, peace, and emotional/mental stability.
My books, keynotes, and counseling/coaching style help my clients/audiences to connect the dots between their triggers, behaviors, beliefs, habits, choices, past trauma, environment, programming from family/culture/society, expectations, and results.

I am offering my webinar Saturday, Apri 25, 2020

1:00 pm (pacific time)

only $20.20 per person  click here to register

Call me for your one-on-one video or phone session, 323.964.1736 or email Jewelmotivates@gmail.com
I will return to face-to-face sessions when this shutdown is over.


The Great Lie/Myth About Motivation

Jewel Diamond Taylor2 Comments
There is a great myth and lie about motivation. What’s motivation got to do with you achieving your goal?… very little if you don’t take consistent action, and have the belief that what you are seeking is possible.
You may get hyped up at a conference, church, sales meeting, etc. Many times we get motivated after a keynote, seminar, or sermon and then return right back to our old way of thinking and living. The word of God teaches, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2. In order to experience transformation and success, your mind has to be transformed from stinking thinking, limitation, fear, worry, anger, shame, bitterness, resentment, selfishness, resistance, low self-esteem, past hurts, misguided and dysfunctional influences.
The energy and enthusiasm will eventually wane. Motivation dissolves and fluctuates depending on your environment, circumstances and shifts that arise. Winners develop mental toughness for discipline.
You need momentum, not motivation.
Action = momentum, feelings = motivation.
If your goal is to stay on a diet, find a job/home, save money, write a book, go to the gym, finish your college studies, meet your sales goal, save money, declutter your environment, learn a new skill set, or go on a fast…you need momentum. Consistent action, step by step, create momentum.
So you’re not feeling it … too bad. The reason so many are fascinated about amazing athletes is because they show up and push past their pain to make that touchdown, goal, slam dunk, or home run. They can’t afford to take their feelings with them when it’s game time.
You don’t have the luxury to allow your feelings to get in the way and sabotage your plan, progress, intentions, goals, purpose, blessings, rewards, and breakthroughs. Feelings will fool you and paralyze you. Feelings can lie and stop you. Feelings can put mud in your wings. No wonder Solomon taught us in the Bible to guard our hearts.
The beginning task of going after a goal may seem emotionally/physically painful, awkward, or inconvenient. You hit a psychological ceiling and sabotage your momentum to complete a task .
You may feel like you are missing something.
You may be tempted to stop.
You may feel incompetent, ashamed, unworthy, or too afraid to ask for help, go on that interview, or make that call.
You will feel uneasy because you are out of your comfort zone.
You may hate; eating certain foods, doing certain physical exercises, meeting new people, going to new places, starting a new project or business, driving long distances, changing your routine, doing paperwork, changing who you gets your time, or downsizing your spending.
If you remain steadfast to meet your goals even though you don’t enjoy it…now that’s truly a motivated person. Be aware that your brain will resist new habits. You must be consistent and steadfast to re-map your mind to follow a new path … a path that leads to success.
If you get up and still do what you don’t like because;
you want to accomplish that bodyweight goal,
you want to increase your savings to purchase that car, home, or become debt-free,
you want to restore your health,
you want to travel,
you want to retire,
you want to increase your credit score,
you want to graduate,
you want to be a homeowner,
you want to start your business, you want to reach a sales goal… if you don’t stop anyway… then you are truly motivated.
Consistent momentum of sticking with your plan is the key. Stick, don’t quit.
Don’t believe you are a failure because you are not feeling pumped, excited, and motivated all the time to do what you need to do. Enthusiasm will come and go. You can’t have fear and focus at the same time. Procrastination is your thief. Your consistent steps and dedication are the keys to achieving your success
Redefine what motivation looks like and feels like. As you keep the main thing, the main thing, even though it is painful, and you feel like you’re missing out on that shoe sale, that party, the pizza, the candy, the donuts, or that temporary high…your discipline and consistent momentum will give you a great emotional payday.
Land mines are concealed under or on the ground and designed to destroy or disable enemy targets.
Watch out for your landMINDs that will trip you up and destroy your momentum (e.g. distractions, procrastination, low self-worth, dream killers, energy vampires, sleep deprivation, concerned about other people’s expectations, poor nutrition, past experiences, perfectionism, feeling unworthy, too much TV, social media). One day you will thank yourself for NOT giving up.

excerpt from e-book “GOALMind Power – Pearls of Wisdom” by Jewel Diamond Taylor, click here to receive this amazing and helpful resource for your toolbox for success $11.99 click here to receive your copy

Jewel, I want to continue learning on a regular basis from your treasure chest of knowledge. I want to prioritize my time, effort, and dedication to live my best life. Please sign me up to participate in your on-line GoalMind Academy.
For info to register. email JewelMotivates@gmail.com

Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?

Jewel Diamond Taylor5 Comments
“Are you introverted? Are you the hyper one or do you feel social activities are exhausting? Are you the talker or the quiet one? Are you fine staying home or are you a social butterfly? Do you try too hard to fit in? Do you feel out of touch with the people you work with?  Does your family think you are the “odd one”?  Do you enjoy different activities than your peers around you?  Do you spend your time feeling like you don’t fit in?  Do you feel like everyone around you has a better social life? Do you feel people just don’t “get you”? Do you worry too much about what other people think? Do you feel out of place in your job, church, or family?
Start being confident about your unique personality. Own it.  Don’t apologize for your taste, talent, time, and truth.
Your emotional wellness comes from being confident in yourself and not seeking approval from others.
You can’t please everybody.  If you realize that you do have some anxieties, past trauma, self-esteem issues or have traits that create social awkwardness and isolation…be honest with yourself.  Seek help and support.  Be strong enough in yourself not to feel unworthy, invisible, defeated, rejected, or an outcast. Your tribe exists. Your personality traits, quirkiness, and strengths are your unique footprint.  So walk in it!  The more authentic you are…the more likely you will attract “your people.”  The more you honor and respect yourself, you will learn to honor and respect the differences in other people without harsh judgment.
You are uniquely created.  There is no one else like you.  It’s not your job to make people like you…learn how to like yourself.” Jewel Diamond Taylor, Conference Speaker, Author, Life Coach, Emotional Wellness Educator, The Self-esteem Dr.