Creative Ways to say “NO”

Do you feel guilty or stressed when you want to say “NO” to a request of your time, money, personal space, resources, etc.?
Below are various ways to master your boundaries and communicate “NO” to unreasonable, unexpected, unrealistic, or inconvenient requests of your time or money…
‘No’ as a complete sentence: “No, thank you” or “No, thank you. I won’t be able to.” (Say it, don’t apologize, then shut up.)
Vague but firm: “Thank you for asking me, but that is not going to work for me.”
Refer/Delegate: “I won’t be able to, but why don’t you ask Joe? I bet he’ll be able to.”
Last Minute Boundary: “I can’t add anything onto my calendar this month, but the next time you’re planning to go _____, let me know as soon as you can because I would love to go with you.”
It’s Not Personal: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not doing any interviews this quarter while I am focusing on starting my new project.”
Showing Gratitude: I’m so touched that you thought of me and I really appreciate your enthusiasm and support. I’m sorry I won’t be able to help out at this time.”
It’s Not Whether, But When: “I would like to, but I am unavailable until August. Could you ask me again closer to that time?” or “None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.”
Gracious:  “I truly appreciate your asking, but my time is already committed.”
Word of Mouth Is the Best Recommendation: “I won’t be able to, but let me recommend someone to you who would be able to help you.”
Someone Else Asked First/Family: “I already told my partner/therapist/coach/etc. that I would not be taking on more at this time. I am working to create a more balanced life.” or “That is the day of my son’s dance recital, and I never miss those.”
Know Thyself: “No. But here is what I can do….” (Then limit the commitment to what works for you.)
Time To Assess: “Let me think about it and I will get back to you.”
Give Others a Chance: “You know, I feel like the accounting department is always organizing the office fundraisers/parties. Let’s ask the Marketing Department to help this year.”
The Pressure Valve: Author Katrina Alcorn shares: “We need a ‘safety word’ for saying no – an easy way to tell people that we can’t/won’t do the thing they are requesting, but that it’s not personal. One convenient thing about authoring a book called Maxed Out is that now I can say ‘I’m maxed out’ and people who are familiar with the book know I’m asking them to respect that I’m taking care of myself, and that I also respect their need to take care of themselves.”

Isolation and being alone can be addicting

“Loneliness and isolation are dangerous.  They can be addicting.  Once you get used to how peaceful it is, you can begin to dread and avoid dealing with people anymore. When you get upset, it is a set up for depression and isolation.  I have had to pray and encourage myself many times out of the cave of depression, grief, isolation, and disappointments from other people’s treatment and loss of my son.

Active fellowship and positive communication are keys to your mental and emotional health.  Living and serving in my purpose has been so helpful in pulling me out of my cave.

Even though you may have been hurt and lost trust in people, experienced loss (e.g. death, job, or divorce), or simply tired from the drama some people bring… do not fall into the pit of isolation. Your past implicit memories can trigger you around certain people or environments to have anxiety or isolate.
Believe that there are still good people who can enrich your life. And believe there are people who will benefit from knowing you.  Begin to believe in new beginnings, new opportunities,  and new possibilities.

To seek help and support is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
It is not good for your emotional, spiritual or mental health to be alone.
Pray for discernment and the courage to trust again, and create love and social connections into your life.”

by Jewel Diamond Taylor, conference speaker, author, life coach, and emotional wellness educator

Women on the Grow 501(c)(3)

facebook wordpress cover           As Founder of Women on the Grow, Inc. 501(c)(3), I offer life coaching, personal development materials and programs to empower women with life coping skills, emotional wellness, stress management, and self-esteem to be successful and NOT a statistic.

     If you would like to make a donation of any amount, use this paypal link.  Thank you so much for believing in my mission to serve, minister, empower, educate, and encourage women from many walks of life.

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Women of all ages learn;
. leadership skills
. emotional wellness
. entrepreneurship
. self-care
. parenting skills
. goal setting
. self-esteem
. self-sufficiency
. relationship/communication skills
. time management
. cognitive behavior awareness to
. heal from past trauma and abuse.

Jewel audience blank     Your donations make it possible for women with hardship cases to attend the retreats, programs and conferences, receive life coaching, and materials for women who desire to overcome life issues e.g. divorce, breast cancer, homelessness, unemployment, single parenting, stress, domestic abuse, grief, depression, and adverse childhood experiences of abuse and dysfunction.  Emotional pain lasts longer than physical pain.

    So many women miss opportunities, success, and peace because they never learned coping skills or experienced the unique, life changing and long lasting results gained from Women on the Grow materials, events, support, coaching, sisterhood, love and non-judging atmosphere.

Capturei am resilient   audience 3

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     If you are an advocate for women’s health, the healing of families and your see the value of Women on the Grow that builds up countless women to not only achieve success…but also sustain it…this organization is a great place to add your energy, contributions, resources, prayers, and suggestions.

       If you would like to make a donation of any amount, use this paypal link.  Thank you so much for believing in my mission to serve, minister, empower, educate and encourage women from many walks of life.

                  Jewel Diamond Taylor, Founder of Women on the Grow 501c3

323.964.1736

email – WOTGrow@gmail.com

Testimony

A few years ago a young woman sat in my Women on the Grow life enrichment support group classes, How to Be an “E-7 Woman“. I congratulate and celebrate with my Women on the Grow Dream Team Member Arnetha because she followed through by applying the principles from my E-7 Woman Class and my book Shift Happens: The Main Thing is to KEEP the Main Thing…The Main Thing. Enjoy and be inspired by her testimony below:

“I am an E7 Woman on the Grow!!! Hello Jewel Diamond Taylor, This notification is to share with you the good news that I met my goal on June 9, 2012. I graduated from University of Phoenix and received my Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology. It was a long journey. I overcame many challenging obstacles; issues in my marriage relationship, struggling to stay focused and committed to my family and friends (I had to say NO to numerous social activities in order to “Keep the Main Thing ~ The Main Thing. “ My obstacles became my stepping stones for success and strengthened me in areas that I felt I could not persevere. There were times I felt that I would not be able to accomplish my goals because I was too busy trying to balance work and family. I recall at so many of your Super Goal Saturday events that I would say this is my year to graduate only to fall short a few credits (take a break to avoid a breakdown). Well here I am stronger and wiser and more knowledgeable. Yes, I was tired many of nights, sleep deprivation and unprepared family meals; needless to say I lost a few points on assignments due to poor planning of time management better known as procrastination. I will continue to grow and work towards my Masters in Psychology.”

Arnetha Booth
My accomplishments and goals as an E7 woman include the following:
1) Empowered – plugged into God’s energy, standing in authority of God’s power

2) Emotional Intelligence – manage my own emotions so others don’t manage me

3) Economic Strength – wise with spending money and prosperous in health, multiple streams of income

4) Enlightened – relationship with God and understanding His word

5) Encouraged – empty the negative and fill myself with positivity, appreciation & gratitude (listening and reading materials by Jewel Diamond Taylor) my mentor and greatest inspirational teacher

6) Education – Returned to school in 2007, one class and one course at a time, focused on the area that I was interested in growing (With God all things are possible)

7) Self Esteem – I am worthy and loved. I am enough. I know who I am and know that I am truly a worthy child of God. (This was a long process to accept of myself).”

Sincerely, Arnetha Booth (Your Dream Team Member) Irvine, CA