So I have shared this quick story from many podiums as a guest speaker. I want to share it with you now…
One day a passenger in the back seat of a taxi kept asking his taxi driver questions. His taxi driver kept jumping and looking startled every time his passenger asked him a question.
Finally, the passenger asked his driver, “Why are you so nervous?” The driver replied, “This is my first day as a taxi driver. For many years I drove a hearse car for funerals.. I’m not used to hearing voices in my car. I’m used to carrying around dead people.”
Unfortunately, there are too many people who are used to carrying “dead” things around (e.g. dead dreams, dead hope, dead faith, dead imagination, old hurts, old habits, old relationships, old beliefs, etc.). When they are offered a new opportunity, a new experience, a new relationship, a new idea, or a new way of living and thinking…it scares them. They have become accustomed to living a limited and joyless life.
I want to encourage someone today to start living with more gratitude, courage, curiosity, creativity, adventure, and grow out of any state of isolation, misery, and old stinkin’ thinkin’. Wake up, get up, try something new, go someplace new, break your routine, add some color, laughter, nature, and beauty into your day. Avoid people whose hope, joy, love, kindness, and imagination has died. You are STILL ALIVE. Live your life more fully.
Your life is NOT shaped by your circumstances. Your life is shaped by the decisions you make each day. Create some new habits and new experiences. Read Psalm 90:12 (Lord teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.)
“Be careful. Like a fish caught in a net, you can become entangled in a toxic relationship, trying to support or fix someone else’s problems. Some people are more loyal and trapped in their story and identity of victimization more than they are open to experience healing, restoration, and peace. You may find yourself saying “no” or distancing yourself from loved ones to protect your peace. This doesn’t mean you don’t care… however, it gives the other person space to develop their own problem solving muscles, faith, and healing.
You may feel a disconnect or exhausted from arguing, saving, or pretending you are not hurt. Misery is contagious. We become drained when we take on assignments that God didn’t give us. Know your limits. Know when to say “no”.
Develop the courage to guard your heart. This helps you to avoid the lines in your relationship becoming blurred causing you to feel discomfort, invisible, unloved, anger, disrespected, resentment, and frustration.” By Jewel Diamond Taylor
Our ever growing tribe grows from the retreats, one-on-one coaching, conferences, travel getaways and the Women on the Grow Academy classes. These experiences embrace women from many walks of life to connect and grow in a safe space of non-judgment, compassion, wisdom, sisterhood, and personal growth.
The fundraiser registration for the group is $20 per person. Your lunch is separate at the restaurant. Enjoy creative Italian dishes (e.g.fresh kinds of pasta, grilled meats, gourmet salads & sandwiches.) Dine among redwood casks in a beautiful historical winery. It is a buffet that ranges from $13 – $30 based on your choices.
Women on the Grow GatHERING
$20 per person
February 16, 2019, 12 noon
It is a buffet that ranges from $13 – $30 based on your choices.
The restaurant is allowing individual payment receipts.
Our color theme to wear isred and/or black.
If you have any questions, please call 323.964.1736
Do you feel guilty or stressed when you want to say “NO” to a request of your time, money, personal space, resources, etc.?
Below are various ways to master your boundaries and communicate “NO” to unreasonable, unexpected, unrealistic, or inconvenient requests of your time or money…
‘No’ as a complete sentence: “No, thank you” or “No, thank you. I won’t be able to.” (Say it, don’t apologize, then shut up.)
Vague but firm: “Thank you for asking me, but that is not going to work for me.”
Refer/Delegate: “I won’t be able to, but why don’t you ask Joe? I bet he’ll be able to.”
Last Minute Boundary: “I can’t add anything onto my calendar this month, but the next time you’re planning to go _____, let me know as soon as you can because I would love to go with you.”
It’s Not Personal: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not doing any interviews this quarter while I am focusing on starting my new project.”
Showing Gratitude: I’m so touched that you thought of me and I really appreciate your enthusiasm and support. I’m sorry I won’t be able to help out at this time.”
It’s Not Whether, But When: “I would like to, but I am unavailable until August. Could you ask me again closer to that time?” or “None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.”
Gracious: “I truly appreciate your asking, but my time is already committed.”
Word of Mouth Is the Best Recommendation: “I won’t be able to, but let me recommend someone to you who would be able to help you.”
Someone Else Asked First/Family: “I already told my partner/therapist/coach/etc. that I would not be taking on more at this time. I am working to create a more balanced life.” or “That is the day of my son’s dance recital, and I never miss those.”
Know Thyself: “No. But here is what I can do….” (Then limit the commitment to what works for you.)
Time To Assess: “Let me think about it and I will get back to you.”
Give Others a Chance: “You know, I feel like the accounting department is always organizing the office fundraisers/parties. Let’s ask the Marketing Department to help this year.”
The Pressure Valve: Author Katrina Alcorn shares: “We need a ‘safety word’ for saying no – an easy way to tell people that we can’t/won’t do the thing they are requesting, but that it’s not personal. One convenient thing about authoring a book called Maxed Out is that now I can say ‘I’m maxed out’ and people who are familiar with the book know I’m asking them to respect that I’m taking care of myself, and that I also respect their need to take care of themselves.”
“Loneliness and isolation are dangerous. They can be addicting. Once you get used to how peaceful it is, you can begin to dread and avoid dealing with people anymore. When you get upset, it is a set up for depression and isolation. I have had to pray and encourage myself many times out of the cave of depression, grief, isolation, and disappointments from other people’s treatment and loss of my son.
Active fellowship and positive communication are keys to your mental and emotional health. Living and serving in my purpose has been so helpful in pulling me out of my cave.
Even though you may have been hurt and lost trust in people, experienced loss (e.g. death, job, or divorce), or simply tired from the drama some people bring… do not fall into the pit of isolation. Your past implicit memories can trigger you around certain people or environments to have anxiety or isolate. Believe that there are still good people who can enrich your life. And believe there are people who will benefit from knowing you. Begin to believe in new beginnings, new opportunities, and new possibilities.
To seek help and support is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
It is not good for your emotional, spiritual or mental health to be alone.
Pray for discernment and the courage to trust again, and create love and social connections into your life.”
by Jewel Diamond Taylor, conference speaker, author, life coach, and emotional wellness educator