Imagine you are on a beach. As you approach the crashing waves and scent of the salt water…you notice 3 men.
- The first man is constructing the most elaborate sand castles. He is intentional, focused, and feeling good about his work. He is not aware that the incoming tide will destroy all that he’s built. This man ignores the reality of the situation and is constantly surprised, upset, angry, disappointed, and feels like a victim when the sand castles return to their source.
- The second man sees the inevitability of the incoming tide and decides not to build any sandcastles–he stands unyielding and discouraged. What’s the point? His overthinking and preoccupation with the inevitable ending prevents him from enjoying the process of playing in the sand and appreciating what’s right in front of him.
- The third person is aware of the incoming tide. He knows that nothing he builds will last forever, and yet decides to build sand castles anyway. His awareness of the end sweetens his enjoyment of the present moment and increases his passion for the creative process…living and celebrating the NOW.
Attitude and perspective are everything! In fact … YOU and everything you are attached to and own will return to it’s source.
“To whom it may concern, this endorsement is my letter of reference about Jewel Diamond Taylor, but it’s really about your life, it’s about your relationship, your marriage, what you want, and how hard you’re willing to work at it. When you make a decision that it matters and that your significant other matters, you matter, and your family matters… reach out to Jewel. She can help you. She helps me and my wife. But you got to want it. You got to be willing to try hard. Be benevolent, loving, and understanding. If any of those adjectives describe you …give her a shot. She can help you. Imagine real peace in your life. It is obtainable. say this from the bottom of my heart.” – Yours truly K.L.
” I enjoy holding a space for my counseling clients to feel safe to take off their mask, armor, and boxing gloves. ” – Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
“I cannot say enough about one of Gods angels, Mrs. Jewel Diamond Taylor, Therapy Practitioner, Life Coach/Counselor, she has helped me put a ” voice” to my pain, take off the mask and start the process of healing that little girl inside of me who felt so unworthy for so long.No matter how many degrees or achievements I may have accomplished, I kept apologizing because I could not see my “value”.Dr. Jewel has helped me get to the core of my pain, where I am no longer feeling the need to apologize for who I am and that I do not need to keep trying to make everyone else happy because “my” happiness is important too. Thank you Dr. Jewel. You were born to healed hearts.” – T. S.
“Hello Mrs Jewel; I want the world to know what an amazing person you are. You are a mentor, life coach, public speaker, and a woman of character. It’s through your experiences and blessings that have allowed you to become a beacon of light for so many.I would like to share how you how you saved my marriage. My husband and I are both type “A” personalities. He sometimes moves and speaks in a way that makes me question his love for me. Dr. Taylor you showed me how to understand my husband and interpret his language of love. I almost gave up on my marriage. I mistook my husband’s actions as controlling and overbearing when all along he was trying to protect me and keep me safe. If it were not for you Dr. Taylor I would have lost the love of my life. Marriage is work and it’s not always easy but when you have tools like you gave us to navigate through your issues it’s manageable. Thank you Dr. Taylor for wisdom and understanding.” – D. T. ( Los Angeles)
May is Mental Health Month. If you have a headache, stomachache, or toothache … it’s normal to seek relief to stop the pain. No one would shame you for seeking relief. In fact, people who care about you would encourage you to seek help. Mental health doesn’t need to be discussed in whispers. It is ok to talk about it. It is ok to need help to stop the pain. We all need help sometimes. You are not alone. Help is available. I invite you to ask yourself …”How am I really doing?” “How can I get the support I need?” “Am I allowing shame and guilt to keep me silent, isolated, and hurting?” “Am I minimizing, hiding, and denying the changes in my personality during this pandemic or from a recent loss or trauma?” Please talk with your support circle. Talk with your loved ones. You are not alone. Help is available. Love, Jewel Diamond Taylor
6 Necessary Boundaries to Maintain Your Peace
Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive tough times and remain silent. Some people deal with unimaginable pain in their own life.
So, the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, or feel your life is inadequate compared to their life…remember you may not be able to endure their experience. You may not know the cost of their alabaster box. So, while someone sits before you looking calm like an ocean on a sunny day, think about this. The ocean is vast and wide. One part of the ocean can be calm while another part of the ocean could be experiencing a colossal storm. It’s happening on the same ocean.
The voice of shame and low self-esteem say, “I’m not good enough.” “Who do you think you are?” I’m not worth it.” “I’m not lovable, beautiful, smart, good, capable, etc.”
Are you frustrated and feel your progress of healing from a broken relationship, financial setback, job loss, trauma, or illness, depression, or setback in your life is not happening fast enough? Your breakthrough and healing are NOT linear. There will be ups and downs. In order to heal, you have to become comfortable facing your uncomfortable reality. Don’t depress your feelings, express your feelings. Let the feelings come. Don’t run, hide, deny, numb, or minimize your feelings. There will be moments of feeling stagnant and triggers that may cause you to feel defeated or fearful.
The support I offer through my one-on-one sessions and books are curated to inspire others to find the hope, courage, will, and strength to discover the depths of their faith, courage, and resiliency they never knew they possess.
I pray you learn to create a sanctuary within yourself, not a prison. Create inside yourself a place, a knowing, a safe place where the pain, anger, grief, and world news cannot disturb your peace.
It will not be easy, but it is possible. You can’t be rushed, forced, or manipulated to start or stay with it.
Your mind can come up with a lot of ways to protect you (e.g. blame, avoidance, denial, feeling helpless, ashamed and guilty, fake smiles, minimization, isolation, busyness, suppress or medicate your feelings with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, helping others).
You have to be ready and hopeful. You must feel worthy of healing. One day you will thank yourself for not giving up. Ready, set, grow! Stay in the light. – Jewel Diamond Taylor
“Jewel my session with you today helped me tremendously to cope in a more productive way with the harassment and racism I am experiencing on my job. I have been so angry, stressed, and fearful of losing my job. You helped me to see how to manage my emotions, guard my heart and self-worth, and to see how the game of micro-aggressions were trying to push my buttons and give them justification to fire me. With each session you have been empowering me to find my voice and stand my ground.” – K. A., Los Angeles, CA
Good morning Jewel,
On behalf of the Administrative Professionals Day planning committee, thank you for speaking during our 23nd annual FDIC Administrative Professional Day Program. We appreciated your encouraging words and advice on how to protect our mental health and adjust to change in a constantly changing world. We have received lots of great feedback and people are asking for the recording to watch it again! Again thank you for speaking at the 2021 Administrative Professionals Day Program. We truly appreciate it.
Human Resources Branch/ DOA Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Arlington, VA
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God has been “growing” my mind. I have been learning some rough and beautiful life lessons.
I love being a woman on the grow! I am learning to reflect on my past with “Kindsight”, to be compassionate, real, and patient with myself.
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with those areas in your life where you need to grow.
remember to visit http://www.WomenOnTheGrow.org
Don’t ever wander so far away from your true self just to get close to someone else.
A SHIP is designed to take you places.
So if your friendSHIP, partnerSHIP, or relationSHIP isn’t taking you anywhere positive and helpful…think…is it time to abandon SHIP?
Some people like to stay busy and distracted or stay in a blame/victim mentality instead of sitting still to reflect, sit with their pain, and heal. Once you are courageous enough to live with the reality of your pain, loss, setback, heartache, regrets, or disappointments, and patterns … you will be in a position to walk the emotional path of acceptance, healing, renewal, and restoration of self-worth and faith.
Too often I hear people saying they are fighting their demons when the reality is they’re fighting and resisting the consequences of their choices.
Could it be life is inviting you to build spiritual stamina, mental health, and emotional wellness?
Until YOU heal…you will be toxic to anyone who tries to hire you, collaborate with you, befriend you, or love you.
Are you willing to examine your thoughts, patterns, relationships, choices, and emotional capacity to cope with stress?
Positive thinking and faith do not work unless you understand the roots of your beliefs and behaviors. You can’t ignore your past conditioning, experiences, trauma, fantasies, expectations, and cultural programming. Once you accept your shadow self and all the many versions of YOU, your AWARENESS becomes your superpower to begin transforming your life.
For that someone who has the courage to speak up, armor up, and NOT return to that person or habit which is your “Egypt” (a place of bondage, i.e. addiction, shame, anger, dishonesty, debt, pride, abuse, self-harm, family secrets, or a dysfunctional relationship)… I encourage you to keep walking into your place of promise, freedom, and peace. Stay in the light. Getting help can help you overcome the darkness and break unhealthy patterns.
call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to reserve your one-on-one video conference with Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Speaking Calendar
March 21 – She is Well Book Launch and Virtual Summit (Maryland)
March 21 – Sisters4SistersNetwork.org (Maryland)
March 24 – Lexington Housing Authority Family Sufficiency Program virtual learning series in North Carolina
March 27 – Women with Visions, Unlimited Women’s History Month Program
March 27 – San Jose Multicultural Artist Guild Girlfriend Appreciation virtual program
March 31 – North County African American Women’s Association “The Strength of a Woman” Program
April 21 – FDIC Admin. Professionals Program
May 1 – 20th Annual Breast and Whole Health Empowerment Forum
Every Sunday Jewel Diamond Taylor’s webinar “The Filling Station”, 3 pm (Pacific)
Call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to inquire about these engagements or availability for your event, program, conference, retreat, workshop, etc.
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Where does it hurt? That’s the question the doctor usually asks when you come to be healed of your back ache, head ache, muscle pain, heart problems, high blood pressure, weight issues or depression?
Your emotional and physical body are one. Your body holds memories, emotions, and unresolved issues. You probably have feelings that are unexpressed or never healed which get stored in your body (i.e. trauma from abuse, incest, rape, incarceration, homeless). You may have emotional junk in your trunk. Your heart can be heavy with emotional clutter. Maybe as a child you were never been hugged…never accepted…felt different…always punished…told to be quiet, be seen and not heard. Feelings of rejection become suppressed emotions in your body.
Your feelings from a divorce, job loss, accident, anger, incarceration, severe illness, or uncried tears from the death of a loved one can pile up boxes of emotions in your body.
Those boxes may have never been opened because you had to keep going to work, show face, be strong, survive, and hold it all together. Those boxes of pain could be stored in your knees, heart, head, stomach, back, or neck.
Your internal conflict or unresolved emotional issues can store up in your muscles. You could have bladder problems (e.g. “He pissed me off!”). Maybe you are full of anxiety, nervous, worried and can’t sleep (e.g. “They are getting on my nerves.”).
Maybe you’re realizing you’ve had denial, lapses of memory, fallen into an addiction caused by saying to yourself, “I can’t believe this is happening to me!@#!”.
Your way of coping could have been sleeping, depression, denial, lapses of memory, staying extra busy, etc.
Unresolved sadness, grief, or anger from a breakup could make you feel you like you can’t breathe causing your chest to feel heavy, (e.g. “My heart is broken.”) thus making your body more vulnerable for a heart attack or stroke.
You could be experiencing muscle pain because you have spent years avoiding dark and painful emotions. In situation where someone has experienced incarceration, abuse, incest, or rape in the past suffer from fatigue, muscle and joint pain, brain fog, and insomnia. Trauma changes the way the brain handles pain and stress. It is very important to seek help to address your past wounds stored up metaphorically as “boxes” in your brain.
I’ve had my share of depression which happens when a toxic situation builds up over time in the brain.
Recently I have allowed myself to open some boxes and stop suppressing some feelings. I’m getting rid of some emotional boxes.
I have cried, reflected, cut my losses, let go of grudges, forgiven myself, laughed, given thanks, prayed and let go. I have felt muscle tightness in my shoulders (e.g. Trying to fix other’s problems and carry the world on my shoulders…thus back and shoulder pain.)
Seek healthy ways to unpack your emotional boxes and get rid of the emotional clutter.
In my seminars and retreats I offer injections for the infection of low self-esteem, fear, stress, procrastination and emotional pain. Those boxes could be blocking your door of success, health, peace and blessings.
This article is an excerpt from Jewel Diamond Taylor’s e-book “Get Rid of the Physical and Emotional Clutter”. Download your copy today to review often and you will soon feel lighter and more peaceful.
Talk therapy, meditation, stretching, exercising, change of diet, emotionally distancing yourself from toxic people or places can help reduce your physical and emotional pain.
e-book Letting Go of Emotional Clutter
by Jewel Diamond Taylor
To schedule your one-on-one coaching/counseling session with The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor, call 323.964/1736 or email TheSelfesteemDr@gmail.com
Have you noticed how the word “love” is often overused for all types of relationships?
The following are words to be more specific in regards to that warm feeling of love…
favor, like, partial, preference, relish, craving, crush, desire, infatuation, longing, lust, yearning, eagerness, enthusiasm, fervor, zeal. appreciation, esteem, estimation, regard, respect, adoration, adulation,
I also believe the word “depressed” is often overused or a person’s emotional state of mind can be misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
I saw a Jeff Foster quote on-line stating, “The word “depressed” is spoken phonetically as “deep rest”. (Stop and say “depressed” out loud.)
WOW…this quote triggered my thoughts about depression. Many times I have quickly labeled myself as depressed when actually I was really feeling spent, exhausted, overwhelmed, and in great need for time to; rest, decompress, unwind, detox my mind, let go, get off the hamster’s wheel, process my anger, grief, and disappointments, cancel some appointments, unplug and fast from social media, delegate some tasks, say “no” to one more request, take a nap, meCation, stayCAtion, or vaCation. When you have gone through some significant life changes i.e. divorce, death in the family, job loss, health issues, caregiving, new job, business owner, new city, marriage, etc…the stress in your body keeps track. If you don’t rest periodically to regoup and renew…you will be forced to stop because of illness, accidents, or anxiety.
I have noticed when I am avoiding conflict, decision-making, resisting change, or in denial about situations I cannot control or change, the default story in my head says, “I am depressed.” No Jewel. Stop Jewel!
There comes a time when I need to rest my mind from; worry, anger, the woulda, coulda, shoulda thoughts, delays, disappointments, doubts, demands of my time, and the constant streaming of violence and hatred in the news. I need to remind myself to recite the Serenity Prayer.
As a public speaker standing in front of all types of audiences, counselor, life coach, wife, mother, grandmother, founder of my Women on the Grow 501c3 ministry, a prayer warrior, a frequent flyer, a sensitive and empathic person, I must remember that my mind is like an emotional sponge absorbing a lot of mixed energy. Because of my sensory overload … on a regular basis, I need to squeeze out all the stimulation, toxic energy, thoughts, and feelings that are weighing heavy on my mind.
You may be working hard, volunteering, parenting, care giving, traveling a lot, and studying which leads to sleep deprivation. Taking time to re-evaluate your lifestyle choices, habits, pace, relationships, faith, and priorities can be your time of spiritual and emotional renewal.
Before you turn to medication to numb your feelings or shut down and isolate yourself….rethink your choice. What you think is depression could really be an invitation for deep rest, renew, and restore your mind, body, and spirit.
Jewel please send me your e-book to continue reading more of your inspiration. Click to offer donation
Contact info to book speaker or book one-on-one counseling/coaching, call 323.964.1736 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com