In my coaching and counseling sessions I’m hearing a lot of conversations from women who are feeling unworthy, unhappy, depressed, and questioning their lives. Social media posts of weddings, travel vacations, books sales, events, cars, people booed-up, new homes, college graduates, entrepreneurs, marriages, proposals, weight loss, clothes, eyelashes, shoes, etc. are creating a new phenomena of toxic comparison. The pressure to perform and produce to keep up and cover up a sense of “not enoughness” is leading to relationship and marriage breakups, high debt, multiple harmful surgeries, depression, and self-esteem crash and burns.
With the overexposure of social media and people posting their managed image and often exaggerated posts…we are seeing a dramatic increase of people feeling inadequate, stressed, and in high-gear driven to have more and do more.
One must ask these questions. 1) Is what I’m seeing authentic and real? 2) If it is, why am I unable to be happy for other people’s success? 3) Am I realizing I am insecure and need to work on my personal growth? 4) Do I live in fear, lack, and jealousy? 5) Am I practicing good habits of productivity or procrastination? 6) Am I more concerned about what other people think and strive for perfection instead of progress? 7) If what I am coveting is real, am I willing to sacrifice, work, study, and cope with the responsibility that comes with any new level of well-being, satisfaction, success? Social media tends to show the success and finish line… but not show the back story… the mess, the struggle, the heart ache, losses, the setbacks and attacks, the sacrifice, the bumps, bruises, and the obstacles that were behind the posted photos.
The feelings of comparison is spreading like a cancer and steals a person’s peace, gratitude, contentment, joy, and self-esteem.
Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive tough times and remain silent. Some people deal with unimaginable pain in their own life.
So, the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, or feel your life is inadequate compared to their life…remember you may not be able to endure their experience. You may not know the cost of their alabaster box. So, while someone sits before you looking calm like an ocean on a sunny day, think about this. The ocean is vast and wide. One part of the ocean can be calm while another part of the ocean could be experiencing a colossal storm. It’s happening on the same ocean.
The voice of shame and low self-esteem say, “I’m not good enough.” “Who do you think you are?” I’m not worth it.” “I’m not lovable, beautiful, smart, good, capable, etc.”
Are you frustrated and feel your progress of healing from a broken relationship, financial setback, job loss, trauma, or illness, depression, or setback in your life is not happening fast enough? Your breakthrough and healing are NOT linear. There will be ups and downs. In order to heal, you have to become comfortable facing your uncomfortable reality. Don’t depress your feelings, express your feelings. Let the feelings come. Don’t run, hide, deny, numb, or minimize your feelings. There will be moments of feeling stagnant and triggers that may cause you to feel defeated or fearful.
The support I offer through my one-on-one sessions and books are curated to inspire others to find the hope, courage, will, and strength to discover the depths of their faith, courage, and resiliency they never knew they possess.
I pray you learn to create a sanctuary within yourself, not a prison. Create inside yourself a place, a knowing, a safe place where the pain, anger, grief, and world news cannot disturb your peace.
It will not be easy, but it is possible. You can’t be rushed, forced, or manipulated to start or stay with it.
Your mind can come up with a lot of ways to protect you (e.g. blame, avoidance, denial, feeling helpless, ashamed and guilty, fake smiles, minimization, isolation, busyness, suppress or medicate your feelings with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, helping others).
You have to be ready and hopeful. You must feel worthy of healing. One day you will thank yourself for not giving up. Ready, set, grow! Stay in the light. – Jewel Diamond Taylor
“Jewel my session with you today helped me tremendously to cope in a more productive way with the harassment and racism I am experiencing on my job. I have been so angry, stressed, and fearful of losing my job. You helped me to see how to manage my emotions, guard my heart and self-worth, and to see how the game of micro-aggressions were trying to push my buttons and give them justification to fire me. With each session you have been empowering me to find my voice and stand my ground.” – K. A., Los Angeles, CA
Good morning Jewel,
On behalf of the Administrative Professionals Day planning committee, thank you for speaking during our 23nd annual FDIC Administrative Professional Day Program. We appreciated your encouraging words and advice on how to protect our mental health and adjust to change in a constantly changing world. We have received lots of great feedback and people are asking for the recording to watch it again! Again thank you for speaking at the 2021 Administrative Professionals Day Program. We truly appreciate it.
Human Resources Branch/ DOA Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Arlington, VA
Click this link and choose a topic from over 200 podcasts https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1739379.rss
Feedback from a MARRIED COUPLE who are receiving weekly counseling with the Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor:
I’m realizing the dysfunctional relationship I have had for so many years of rejections and criticism from mother has effected my marriage. You have helped me to understand why I am so hard on myself and constantly trying to prove my love to my wife.
My wife and I learned some real good communication skills. We can see a difference in the way we are dealing with our disagreements…I am learning to respond and not react.
I can really see a difference in my husband. I can see he is really tryiing to change and think before he blows up with anxiety and impatience.
We are learning how to be more honest about our feelings and triggers. Thank you Dr. Jewel for these weekly sessions. We are telling other couples about your counseling service.
Feedback from SEVERAL WOMEN who share their takeway from their sessions with The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor:
. I am more of an avoidant mom than a smothering mom. I don’t like feeling smothered or too bothered and I get overwhelmed with conflict or responsibility because I was such a young mom and I was a single mom for most of my children’s lives so I avoid stuff to protect my self.
. My parents did they best they could but I didnt have a perfect model of parenting and I am parenting from some of those same flawed parenting techniques.
. I may have wrong expectations about the type of parent I can be and I need to practice more self compassion.
. I am struggling to confront and draw boundaries with my mother who is manipulative, emotionally distant, and shows me no respect. You are helping me to accept the reality of her personality and this dysfunctional relationship. I am drained emotionally and it is affecting other areas of my life.
. As a young woman who had a lot of bad decisions with men, you are giving me guidance and helping me to move forward after some deep depression, feeling suicidal, angry, and ashamed. I’m so glad my Grandmother referred me to you for counseling and coaching. I now have 2 new jobs and accepted to go go to community college.
. I can feel the pain but I don’t have to feed it. (For me the feeding is with shopping and eating, and I buying my kids stuff so they wont feel pain and I wont feel guilty.)
. No more secrets I don’t have to be ashamed of my past. I can be vulnerable and transparent, it is freeing!
. I am gaining so much clarity and feeling free from guilt, shame , and always being the giver, fixer, and go-to person in my family. It’s my time now to start finding out what I want, need, and deserve. My life has been about helping everybody for so many years and now these sessions are strengthening my self-esteem and I’m taking some positive actions to let go and reduce the drama and stress I’ve been feeling for years.
. Generational patterns are repeating themselves, I’m seeing my daughters are making some of my same mistakes. Divorce, unwed mom, being with men that are broken and don’t value selves and finding men that don’t value them.
. I share too much business with my children because I haven’t had a spouse for many years.
. You helped me to see that we can shine on our jobs and fail at home.
. I need to recognize and acknowledge the things I was running from or I will leave a trail behind me.It may make me uncomfortable at first but it is liberating.
To contact The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor for one-on-one life coaching or counseling, email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com or call 323.964.1736
Wednesday, April 28,4:00 pm (Pacific) onThe Blend Talk Show facebook page. Season 2 is everything you need to know to start healing from the impact that #covıd 19 has had on your mind, body, and spirit.
The Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor will be a speaker for The Wellness Group – Breast Health Awareness celebrating 20 Years of Empowering Women! The Wellness Group presents our 20th Annual Healthy Lifestyle Forum, “Embrace the Woman You Are,” on Saturday, May 1, from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., via Zoom. The event will offer dynamic and powerful presentations, educational materials, product samples, gifts and prizes. Admission is free with registration. To register, visit https://twg20thannualhealthylifestyleforum.eventbrite.com
Space is Limited! Register Today!
Remember to listen to Jewel’s over 100 podcasts. They will GROW your mind! https://jewelspodcasts.buzzsprout.com/
Sometimes you need to seek counseling and help because the wounded or stressful people in your life won’t seek counseling. What words did someone say to you that keep ruminating in your head? Did someone mock you and you began to think you were unworthy, stupid, unlovable, undesirable, ugly, or a failure? Did someone cause you to feel invisible, unheard, or crazy? Did somone think of you as their default relationship and only with you when it was convenient for them?
A wound is a wound. The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound. The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. I’m counseling a young lady now who is devastated and almost suicidal because the man she loves broke her heart, used her, took her money, and pride. She is finding it difficult to understand that the one who broke her … can’t be the one to fix her. She is caught up in a spell. Her love hangover has her doubting herself, hiding in shame, and constantly replaying in her mind the lies and disappointments. It takes time to heal and gain a new perspective and insight about yourself from being betrayed and/or abused. Taking back your power, joy, value, and your true identity is a process. You can’t change the experience from your past but you can learn to live in the now. You can learn to change the emotion attached the experience. You can smile again. You can see yourself through a lens of compassion, worthiness, victorious, beautiful, smart, strong, and resilient.
You can go without oxgen for 3 minutes. You can go without water for 3 days. You can go without food for 3 weeks. But every waking moment you are thinking, feeling, and choosing all day. Your thoughts and imagination can be digging you deeper into a pit of despair, self-pity, shame, depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem. Once you start recognizing your train of thoughts, habits, and behaviors … you can begin to observe and redirect your thoughts to create a new narrative. Positive affirmations are good…but not enough to create lasting change. Talk therapy, meditation, healthy food choices, some form of creativity, journaling, reading, and associating with people who can help you grow are prescriptions for your mental and emotional wellness. As a counselor/life coach, I have been supporting so many women on their journey of reclaiming their personal power and breaking generational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, shame, guilt, depression, dysfunction, and emotional thugs.
I talk to many people who are seriously committed to their physical fitness (e.g. the gym, counting calories, running, walking, etc.). Just know for sure, It’s also important to gain mental and emotional fitness. This is especially critical in these times as stress factors like racism, violence, increase in care giving for the elderly, and the disruption of lives and livelihood from the pandemic are happening.
My strengths in offering life coaching are from my experience as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, entrepreneur, women’s retreat leader, my studies in psychology, and being seasoned international conference speaker.
I focus on self-esteem issues, relationships, pursuing your purpose, overcoming strongholds of procrastination, fear, shame, anger, grief, and past trauma.
The sessions are by phone or video conferencing. I offer you a fresh perspective, encouragement, clarity, wisdom, non-judgment and a call to action towards your peace, self-worth, purpose and goals. My purpose is to help you build up your faith, confidence, focus, and take steps for what you want to achieve. I accomplish this by helping YOU discover what coping skills, limiting beliefs, emotional masks, or sabotaging habits you have which are hindering your growth and happiness.
Feel free to call me to ask specific questions, 323.964.1736.
I can facilitate your session with me by phone or Zoom. Listen to my recent podcast conversation with a young lady who grew up with abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic parents, a mother with mental illness, and moved over 20 times. Her youth was very disruptive, unstable, and traumatic. She shares in this podcast how she made a choice to break out of the cycle and benefited from learning from my sessions, conferences, books, counseling, and mentoring. click here
To view a list of over 100 of my podcasts to help GROW your mind click here
God has been “growing” my mind. I have been learning some rough and beautiful life lessons.
I love being a woman on the grow! I am learning to reflect on my past with “Kindsight”, to be compassionate, real, and patient with myself.
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with those areas in your life where you need to grow.
remember to visit http://www.WomenOnTheGrow.org
Don’t ever wander so far away from your true self just to get close to someone else.
A SHIP is designed to take you places.
So if your friendSHIP, partnerSHIP, or relationSHIP isn’t taking you anywhere positive and helpful…think…is it time to abandon SHIP?
Some people like to stay busy and distracted or stay in a blame/victim mentality instead of sitting still to reflect, sit with their pain, and heal. Once you are courageous enough to live with the reality of your pain, loss, setback, heartache, regrets, or disappointments, and patterns … you will be in a position to walk the emotional path of acceptance, healing, renewal, and restoration of self-worth and faith.
Too often I hear people saying they are fighting their demons when the reality is they’re fighting and resisting the consequences of their choices.
Could it be life is inviting you to build spiritual stamina, mental health, and emotional wellness?
Until YOU heal…you will be toxic to anyone who tries to hire you, collaborate with you, befriend you, or love you.
Are you willing to examine your thoughts, patterns, relationships, choices, and emotional capacity to cope with stress?
Positive thinking and faith do not work unless you understand the roots of your beliefs and behaviors. You can’t ignore your past conditioning, experiences, trauma, fantasies, expectations, and cultural programming. Once you accept your shadow self and all the many versions of YOU, your AWARENESS becomes your superpower to begin transforming your life.
For that someone who has the courage to speak up, armor up, and NOT return to that person or habit which is your “Egypt” (a place of bondage, i.e. addiction, shame, anger, dishonesty, debt, pride, abuse, self-harm, family secrets, or a dysfunctional relationship)… I encourage you to keep walking into your place of promise, freedom, and peace. Stay in the light. Getting help can help you overcome the darkness and break unhealthy patterns.
call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to reserve your one-on-one video conference with Jewel Diamond Taylor, aka The Self-esteem Dr.
Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Speaking Calendar
March 21 – She is Well Book Launch and Virtual Summit (Maryland)
March 21 – Sisters4SistersNetwork.org (Maryland)
March 24 – Lexington Housing Authority Family Sufficiency Program virtual learning series in North Carolina
March 27 – Women with Visions, Unlimited Women’s History Month Program
March 27 – San Jose Multicultural Artist Guild Girlfriend Appreciation virtual program
March 31 – North County African American Women’s Association “The Strength of a Woman” Program
April 21 – FDIC Admin. Professionals Program
May 1 – 20th Annual Breast and Whole Health Empowerment Forum
Every Sunday Jewel Diamond Taylor’s webinar “The Filling Station”, 3 pm (Pacific)
Call 323.964.1736 or email – JewelMotivates@gmail.com to inquire about these engagements or availability for your event, program, conference, retreat, workshop, etc.
Click the link below to begin receiving Jewel Diamond Taylor’s inspirational on-line newsletter and updates.
A link will be sent to your text number for each new issue.
Do you feel like you are under attack?
Do you feel blocked instead of blessed?
Do you know the winning ways of spiritual warfare?
Do you know how to fight the exhaustion, fear, confusion, doubt, and emotional traps?
Are you isolating, defeated, sick, exhausted, angry, or fearful all the time?
“Master…help them to see their way out, become stronger and make it through. I pray, your gentle spirit rains down to refresh those who are weary. For You, alone, are the great comforter and our liberator from the prison of hopelessness. Remind them you correct and protect, guide, and provide. I give thanks in advance for their ability to breathe again, believe in your promises, refill their cup of faith, and experience their breakthrough.
“May the God of hope FILL you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ` Romans 15:13
Register now for my Emotional/Spiritual Wellness weekly “FILLing Station” experience via zoom.
For 9 months every Sunday, I have been pouring into women’s lives insights to gain clarity, faith, peace, courage, and steps to heal and strengthen their mind, body, and spirit.
Women on the Grow tribe sisters $15 per person – click here
General registration $21 per person – click here
Include your email address with payment and the link and password be forwarded to you after your registration has been received.
For any questions, text 310.526.2552 or email JewelMotivates@gmail.com
EVERY SUNDAY “The Filling Station”
“The Filling Station is the best way to describe this virtual webinar. Every week I look forward to “Filling Myself” spiritually and emotionally. I’m so grateful to have pulled into this station of my life to get the tools necessary for my life’s journey. Thank you Women on the Grow. Let’s keep growing together for His glory!” – Valerie Vaultz
c. I do not deserve to be treated or talked to like that.
a. I can’t help you right now. I need to stay on schedule and focus. I have some commitments to keep. Is Thursday a good time for you?
b. If you are going to be late, text or call me.
c. I would love to attend, but I have a prior commitment I want to honor.
c. Thank you, but I am uncomfortable hugging or shaking hands. I’m not ready for intimacy.
b. If I do choose to help, it is a loan and not a gift.
c. I do not discuss my income with others. I will not ask about yours.
b. I know you care, but it is my personal business.
click arrow to watch your “Success PushUPs video” less than 2 minutes