The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound.

Sometimes you need to seek counseling and help because the wounded or stressful people in your life won’t seek counseling. What words did someone say to you that keep ruminating in your head? Did someone mock you and you began to think you were unworthy, stupid, unlovable, undesirable, ugly, or a failure? Did someone cause you to feel invisible, unheard, or crazy? Did somone think of you as their default relationship and only with you when it was convenient for them?

A wound is a wound. The pain of words lasts longer than a physical wound. The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. I’m counseling a young lady now who is devastated and almost suicidal because the man she loves broke her heart, used her, took her money, and pride. She is finding it difficult to understand that the one who broke her … can’t be the one to fix her. She is caught up in a spell. Her love hangover has her doubting herself, hiding in shame, and constantly replaying in her mind the lies and disappointments. It takes time to heal and gain a new perspective and insight about yourself from being betrayed and/or abused. Taking back your power, joy, value, and your true identity is a process. You can’t change the experience from your past but you can learn to live in the now. You can learn to change the emotion attached the experience. You can smile again. You can see yourself through a lens of compassion, worthiness, victorious, beautiful, smart, strong, and resilient.

You can go without oxgen for 3 minutes. You can go without water for 3 days. You can go without food for 3 weeks. But every waking moment you are thinking, feeling, and choosing all day. Your thoughts and imagination can be digging you deeper into a pit of despair, self-pity, shame, depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem. Once you start recognizing your train of thoughts, habits, and behaviors … you can begin to observe and redirect your thoughts to create a new narrative. Positive affirmations are good…but not enough to create lasting change. Talk therapy, meditation, healthy food choices, some form of creativity, journaling, reading, and associating with people who can help you grow are prescriptions for your mental and emotional wellness. As a counselor/life coach, I have been supporting so many women on their journey of reclaiming their personal power and breaking generational patterns of abuse, neglect, secrets, shame, guilt, depression, dysfunction, and emotional thugs.

I talk to many people who are seriously committed to their physical fitness (e.g. the gym, counting calories, running, walking, etc.). Just know for sure, It’s also important to gain mental and emotional fitness. This is especially critical in these times as stress factors like racism, violence, increase in care giving for the elderly, and the disruption of lives and livelihood from the pandemic are happening.

My strengths in offering life coaching are from my experience as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, entrepreneur, women’s retreat leader, my studies in psychology, and being seasoned international conference speaker.

I focus on self-esteem issues, relationships, pursuing your purpose, overcoming strongholds of procrastination, fear, shame, anger, grief, and past trauma.

The sessions are by phone or video conferencing. I offer you a fresh perspective, encouragement, clarity, wisdom, non-judgment and a call to action towards your peace, self-worth, purpose and goals. My purpose is to help you build up your faith, confidence, focus, and take steps for what you want to achieve. I accomplish this by helping YOU discover what coping skills, limiting beliefs, emotional masks, or sabotaging habits you have which are hindering your growth and happiness.

Feel free to call me to ask specific questions, 323.964.1736.

I can facilitate your session with me by phone or Zoom. Listen to my recent podcast conversation with a young lady who grew up with abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic parents, a mother with mental illness, and moved over 20 times. Her youth was very disruptive, unstable, and traumatic. She shares in this podcast how she made a choice to break out of the cycle and benefited from learning from my sessions, conferences, books, counseling, and mentoring. click here

To view a list of over 100 of my podcasts to help GROW your mind click here

Wake Up! Pain is your friend

Click above arrow to listen to audio message.

“Believe it or not, pain can be a great motivator!

Pain is the brain’s way of telling you to CHANGE something. It could be as simple as lifting your hand off the hot stove, a constant headache or being in an abusive or unfulfilling relationship. Both physical and emotional pain are signals to wake you up to change your behavior. Pain can be your friend to alert you to something that is not in alignment.

I had painful headaches all the time and didn’t want to accept the fact that I might have to take medication and stop eating French fries, bacon and cheetos.  I had stress and sleepless nights.  I ignored the wake up calls. I hit my “emotional snooze button” even though I was having excruciating headaches. Eventually I got sick and tired of being sick and tired from sleepless nights. My headaches and possibility of a stroke were my wake up call. I decided to start dealing with stress in more positive ways and reduce my salt intake. I went to the doctor and finally decided to confront this issue and starting taking low doses of medication which stopped my headaches.  I started exercising.  I was stubborn. I was procrastinating. Are you in denial about any habits that are stealing your sleep, health, confidence, joy, peace of mind and success?

If life is painful in any area of your life, do not numb yourself. Shifts and changes could be your wake up call to do something different. It could be your wake up call to wake up from denial, procrastination and paralysis of analysis.
If a relationship or job is changing…if your life is experiencing sudden shifts…if your weight is increasing and your energy is decreasing…if your body is in pain…if you are experiencing trust issues in your relationship… if you keep losing things, forgetting things and have accidents… if trouble and drama seems to constantly show up in your life… if people continually take advantage of you…if you keep missing opportunities…if you are losing money, sleep, relationships and your peace of mind…WAKE UP…GET UP and don’t go back to sleep. Don’t hit the snooze button. Life is shaking beneath your feet to get you to walk by faith and do something new.”
excerpt from “SHIFT HAPPENS” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

snooze button or wake up

Dealing with Emotional Pain

“How do you metabolize the pain and difficult passages in your life?  Inner peace and maturing in our faith happens when we learn how to be reasonably comfortable with the uncontrollable.  Our culture teaches us to run from failure and sorrow instead of teaching us how to embrace and endure the adversity and loss.

Entering into the space of grief and loss teaches us that there is a legitimate place for sorrow as well as gratitude and hope.

We think we can avoid pain and be protected by our good deeds, pedigree, religious standing, accomplishments, acquisitions and masks.  Christians become saved and believe they are immune from problems. None of us can escape our appointed time of loss, disappointment, grief and emotional pain.  Pain, loss and sorrow are the admission price we pay for the privilege of living.

What discomfort are you avoiding?
Are you willing to confront your fears? Are you learning to cope, adapt, heal, let go and surrender?
Are you resisting loss, change and pain?
Are you making permanent decisions about temporary situations?
Are you isolating to avoid feeling ashamed, embarrassed, vulnerable or feeling insecure?
Do you think acknowledging your pain makes you weak?
Are you wearing a mask to survive and fit in?
Are you afraid people will judge you?
Have you lost confidence in yourself and faith in God?
Are you willing to break open your heart and allow the pain, fears and uncertainties flow out?
Are you willing to connect with others and have the courage to tell your story and speak up? What is your pain trying to tell you?

I’m becoming friends with pain so I don’t become hostage to the pain. I’m learning to let it pass through me like a visitor but not a resident that can move in and stay. The more courage I have to see and accept the pain…the less power is has to control and defeat me.”

~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, www. DoNotGiveUp.net

Coping with Stress and Pressure

“When you are feeling under the pressure of life, be careful not to lose your way, your faith or your identity.  When I see the word “pressure”… I see two (2) words, PRESS and SURE.

The heavy weight of maintaining your family, business, ministry, job, studies, finances and meeting deadliness can PRESS down on you so hard that you can begin to question God and yourself.  You could begin to ask, “Are you sure God I’m supposed to be doing this? Are you sure I am anointed, blessed, talented, covered, called and destined to do this?  The phone isn’t ringing. The sales are slow. My progress is slow.  I feel stuck.  No one seems interested in keeping the family, the team, business or ministry together. You may begin to question yourself under the pressure and ask yourself, “Am I sure I can do this?  Am I sure God will show up?  Am I sure things will work out?  Am I sure I am qualified and ready? I’m not sure I can cope and handle this difficult situation.

When you are confused and discouraged because of the pressures in your life you could begin to give up.  You could easily give up your calling or decide to change your direction and do something different because your identity in God has been stolen.

These questions under pressure can cause you to experience Identity Theft.  External and internal voices, feelings and situations can cause you to lose your confidence and trust in God and trust in yourself.

   The term “identity theft” comes from the escalating criminal acts of finances, identification and credit being stolen. Those who fight against identity theft and arrest the criminals, warn people to do three (3) things to avoid identity theft.

I think the three steps can also be applied to protecting your spiritual identity. 1) DETER – minimize risk and safeguard important information and documents.

2) DETECT suspicious activity by routinely monitoring your financial accounts and billing statements.  3) DEFEND your identity and alert creditors to follow certain procedures before they open new accounts in your name or make changes to your existing accounts.

Everyone needs to realize they are vulnerable to financial and spiritual identity theft.  Thieves are cunning.  They study your habits and routine.  They look for easy access to your information.  The enemy knows when you are feeling down, discouraged, hopeless and dePRESSed.  The enemy knows when you are vulnerable.

When it comes to proactive steps to protect your spiritual identity 1) DETER – minimize risk by protecting your heart and who you share your time, dreams, goals and conversations with.  2) DETECT suspicious activity by monitoring on a regular basis your relationships, what you say, how you feel and what you believe. Check your spirit to avoid depression, pity parties, sabotaging behavior like shame, guilt and procrastination.  3) DEFEND yourself.  Block the enemy from stealing your joy and purpose.  Before you slip into darkness and want to give up, remind yourself who you really are in God.  Speak your declarations and affirmations.  Proclaim again that you are worthy, qualified, blessed and resilient. Go for it.  Stick with it.  Don’t let internal or external enemies discourage you with doubt. Defending your dreams and goals is like hiding a priceless jewels so potential robbers won’t find them and steal them. Defend your purpose and those dreams and goals which are precious to you.  Defend and protect your identity in the Lord.  You are who God says you are. Encourage yourself and defend your worthiness, talents, dreams, purpose and faith in God.  Read Psalm 139:17-18 and remember how precious you are to God.

1 Peter 3:15 says, “Always  be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” ~ by Jewel Diamond Taylor

How to Get Relief from Emotional Pain

numbing“We don’t like to feel pain. That is why pain killers, alcoholism, drug abuse, excessive eating, excessive spending, excessive busyness or isolation ruins a lot of lives. Numbing the pain doesn’t make it go away. Attempts to numb any pain is a temporary escape and band aid. People in emotional pain from loss, trauma, or loneliness can become reckless in their life choices by choosing or staying in toxic relationships, neglecting important things like paying their bills, showing up for work, neglecting their health or neglecting their family. Some people cope with their pain with denial, becoming armored, and building walls instead of bridges to connect with others. Pain is a signal that something needs our attention…something needs to be changed …something needs to be healed … something needs to be confronted or accepted.

smoke alarmPain is like a smoke alarm. If you take out the batteries because you don’t like the noise, or you never put in new batteries, your house could burn down. Don’t let your life be destroyed into ashes because you are ignoring the pain you feel in your heart, body, relationships, finances or job situation. If there is smoke, there is a fire starting. Put out the fire with action, courage and faith. Pay attention to the “alarm signals” or you will pay a heavy price.” by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Interviewer: Why do you think women seek life coaching/counseling?

Jewel: I have discovered most of the women I coach/counsel have issues with their relationships, loneliness, feeling battle weary from their job, feeling isolated, experiencing too much stress/demands or too little time, money, love, support or sense of purpose.
Many of my counseling/coaching mentees are inspired to; stop procrastinating, find their voice to make key decisions, amp up their actions and confidence, deepen their faith and focus more on the real priorities that can change their lives in a positive way. They are renewed to have hope again to believe their future holds promise and possibilities.

Interviewer: Do you believe your style of mentoring/coaching/counseling supersedes the power of prayer?

Jewel: Absolutely not. What I offer only supplements and strengthens one’s personal development and spiritual faith. I believe one’s personal and spiritual strength are interwoven. It is very evident to me that the popularity of social media like Facebook and Instagram proves that people crave to be seen, heard, successful, celebrated, connected and significant. My coaching/counseling, books and my signature events gives women an opportunity to be seen, heard, understood, validated and challenged to GROW beyond their comfort zone, shame, fears and sabotaging behavior.

Interviewer: How long have you been offering your life coaching and counseling for women? Do you only coach women?

Jewel: I’m glad the popularity of life coaching has reduced the negative stigma of people seeking support and mentoring.  Long before “life coach” was even heard of and became mainstream in our culture and on TV, I was mentoring and counseling women by phone, in my retreats and my women’s life enrichment gatherings (e.g. The Enlightened Circle and now my Women on the Grow Organization). I started in 1986. Because I share my mistakes, pain, successes, stories, wisdom and experiences as a; wife, mother, sibling, author, ordained minister, self-employed speaker, life coach, columnist, media personality, author and someone who has learned to cope with the loss of both parents and my son from cancer… I believe my life journey allows me to be more relevant in connecting with women’s issues and needs. I have discovered that when a person has no hope, encouragement, faith or vision…they are more likely to return to their past unhealthy and destructive patterns of coping and living.

Interviewer: What are you planning in the near future to engage and empower women to be stronger and encouraged?

Jewel: I am known as the Self-esteem Dr. so I will be offering my “Open Heart Surgery” Relationships Clinic Saturday, July 11 in Los Angeles. I will be teaching from my book “Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain with You.” In August I will continue with my “Diamond Lane Mentoring Class for Women” in the Los Angeles area. Every October I host a women’s retreat getaway. This year it will be in Northern Las Vegas.

Interviewer: Do you only speak in California?

Jewel: Oh no!!! Over the years I have been invited to speak all over the United States, London, Jamaica, Brazil, the Bahamas, Cancun, the Virgin Islands, St. Kitts and Turks and Caicos Islands. I’m ready to travel and bring the inspiration and encouragement around the globe. Below are the states where I have been a guest speaker over the years. My goal next is to speak and/or host a women’s retreat in Hawaii. I’m seeking any contacts in Hawaii to make that happen.
Contact me by email – Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net

my speaking map

Persevere through the hard times

      Millions of people suffer from depression (e.g. sadness, hopeless, fatigue and loss of interest). Depression is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him/her.    For some this dis-ease is treatable.  Click this link to learn about the many types of depression.
      For some people depression is short term …a temporary blue mood.  Medical and mental health support is not in my wheelhouse.  I can offer emotional and spiritual support for those not suffering from chronic disorders of depression.  
      If you have short lived episodes of anxiety feeling sad and overwhelmed, I render these thoughts below for emotional and spiritual wellness with my Depression Poster below.

Sometimes you may feel that neither faith, joy or hope can find you.  You may be in a place of dryness, uncertainty and stagnation. You may stare at your low “joy ceiling”, pace the floor, sleep all day, eat compulsively or not eat at all.  You may isolate and want to give up because you ache for a divine and loving relationship, peace in your family, better finances, a home, increase in your business/ministry, help for your child, spouse of parent.  You may just want to be left alone or you may be yearning for connections and companionship. Maybe you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    If you find that all hope is gone, I pray you breathe in hope and remember the moments of sunshine and sweetness to heal your wounds and get through your difficult times.  I pray that you will not be weary in your well doing and live with hope, gratitude and resiliency.  I pray, that just like a flower is determined to bloom no matter the circumstances, that you will also bloom in spite of the brokenness in your life.
Flower-Crack-Sidewalk
     The flower in this picture went through dirt and broken concrete seeking the sunlight. Whatever you are going through, I pray that you “grow” through it so you can see better days.  I believe with every fiber of being that you can make it!  You are stronger than you realize.  Be resilient and push through your “dirt and broken concrete”.  Push through to see the light of your possibilities.  Push through today.  Push through believing that God is with you in the joy and pain…sunshine and rain.”  ~  by Jewel Diamond Taylor, author of “I Am Resilient, www.DoNotGiveUp.net/IAMResilient  To contact Jewel call 323.964.1736 or email – Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net
depression press
Enjoy this upbeat song “Don’t give up”

Benefits of Life Coaching with Jewel aka “The Self-esteem Dr.”

    

Too often we feel a sense of shame, guilt or over responsibility ( e.g. feel like a bad Christian, bad wife, bad mother, bad sister, bad daughter). Or our inner self-talk says, “if I don’t ‘help or give.”…or “They will be in danger if I don’t help.” ….”or  “If I stay or if I prove or if I make him feel better, he will love me.” “I’ve invested so much already in this relationship and I don’t know how to stop the manipulation.” …”They need me because I have always been the; e.g. giver, the fixer, the savior, the rescuer, the breadwinner, the strong one in this family.”

I’ve been there and I’ve done that. Thank God I’m not what I used to be. Are you ready to stop playing the “rescue sheroe role”?

I empower my life coaching clients to GROW :
from procrastination to action,
from low self-esteem to a healthy worthiness,
from fear to faith,
from doubt to done, from idea to implementation, from setback to bounce back!

testimony Ollie

Is your life puzzling, problematic, painful, peaceful, productive or progressing? Life can seem like a mystery, magical, puzzling, exhausting, exciting, a battle or a blessing. The challenge for us all is to learn to trust the unknown and yet live in the present proactively planning our future.

” Jewel is an extremely astute coach, mentor, listener and guide. I had an initial Skype session with Jewel some time back. Since then I have aimed to put in to practice the clear steps she advised me to look at and work on. However, recently I hit a wall, and had an epiphany of what lay at the heart of the majority of my very long standing ‘ negative – self’mindset issues and this resulting suppressant to reach the potential God is calling me to. I knew how deeply significant this was for me and that I’d arrived at a clear watershed in my life. I immediately knew I needed to speak with Jewel. I knew she would read my situation, understand and discern with incisive authority, speaking courage, truth, honour and measured calm in the way that was necessary and fully appropriate to me. I can’t recommend her highly enough. If you are really serious in turning your damaged mindsets round in your life for good so you can move on permanently speak with Jewel to get you on the right path and beyond. Jewel is the total package and genuine spirit-filled- sent article for those of us who need genuine encouragement and a restoration of true self worth.” Emily, United Kingdom

You may be perplexed by your past choices or present circumstances. You can be baffled about your next step because you are isolated or over think the process.  You may be stuck in grief, depression or a dysfunctional lifestyle. You may not understand that your problems are an invitation to grow in discernment, courage, wisdom, purpose, faith, fortitude or emotional intelligence. Sure, at times we feel confused and anxious. We wonder whether we’re making the “right decision.” Thoughts haunt us like…”What am I going to do with my life? “What have I done with my life ?@!#!” or “I’m ready to make something out of my life!” We begin to lack trust in ourselves and in the faithfulness of God.

a little progress

  As you grow in your coping skills, faith, self-esteem, relationships, anger issue and purpose you will be able to see how the pieces of your life are coming together. Nothing you have done has been a waste of time. Patience, prayer, perseverance and taking proactive steps will help you to see progress.

If you are enthusiastic about your goal, you will need direction.
If you are discouraged, you will benefit from coaching.
If you are cautious in moving forward, you will need support.
If you have a goal, you will either GIVE UP or GROW up in your commitment, endurance, faith, perseverance, and capacity for success.

Jewel Diamond Taylor puzzle

For over 25 years I have helped others to put together the pieces of their life. I’m here to serve you and/or your organization. Reply to e-mail Jewel@DoNotGiveUp.net or call me 323.964.1736 with your questions or to confirm your success coaching or counseling time with the Self-esteem Dr.”

“My decision to meet with Jewel as a Life Coach was a divine life changing decision. Jewel was so easy to talk to and I instantly felt comfortable enough to open up and share things that I had not shared before. She truly understood me which meant so much. The nuggets of wisdom that I walked away with I will forever treasure. She is truly an anointed Woman of God.” – B. W. (California)

“I took advantage of this and it was by far one of the best experiences/ coaching session ever. I was very touched that Mrs. Taylor ended our coaching session in Prayer not to mention I felt like a conqueror afterwards. I’m in desperate need of another coaching session and hopefully I can secure of of the available slots. Thank you!!” Wendy Reed

Click here to read more testimonials…women who have been impacted in a positive way!

~ Jewel Diamond Taylor, Conference Keynote Speaker, Success Coach, Author, Women’s Retreat Facilitator and Workshop Trainer

Spiritual Mood Swings

At some time in all of our lives, we will experience suffering, inconveniences, heart ache and stress. If our faith is not built up, we can find ourselves bi-polar in our faith.
I admit there are times when my faith is extremely strong and unwavering. There have been times when my faith swung to the extreme and doubt, fear and worry crept into my soul and attitude.
I can relate to the apostle Paul who wrote in Romans 7:19 how he felt confused and double minded about his actions and faith. Do you ever go from one extreme to another extreme in your moods, feelings, beliefs and faith? Have you ever gone from peace to stress in 0 – 60 seconds? Have you ever said you were going to forgive someone, stop feeling angry or stop worrying about your children, health, finances or job? Have you ever thought that because you were in a season of suffering that God had forsaken you? Has trouble ever knocked on your door but your faith did not open the door? Have you ever started the day off in peace and then something happens on your job that causes your mood and faith to swing to the extreme? Do you only have faith and peace when everything is going well in your life? When “shift happens” in your life, does your faith shift to doubt, anger and worry? Does your “pendulum of thought” swing back and forth exhausting you and robbing you of rest, peace and faith in the Lord?

James 1:8 reminds us that being double minded and indecisive makes us unstable.
As I encourage myself each day…I want to encourage you also to avoid being bi-polar in your faith. If someone is diagnosed as mentally bi-polar they are usually given some medication (which has side effects). However, to be spiritually bi-polar I prescribe meditation, not medication. When we meditate and pray, the only side effect is that our peace, rest, joy and faith are restored. We must practice this daily not just when we are in a storm or on Sunday at church. Daniel prayed three times a day and was delivered from the lion’s den.

The benefits of prayerful meditation are many;
. Strengthens your relationship with the Lord
. Deepens your faith and ability to surrender to the flow of life
. Increases gratitude and strength to endure difficult times
. Gives you insight and clarity to see purpose through your pain
. You are able to hear from clearly from God what should be your next step.
. You are able to self-correct any negative thoughts or feelings
. Lowers high blood pressure.
. Relieves stress and anger.
. Lowers the levels of blood lactate, reducing anxiety attacks.
. Decreases any tension-related pain, such as, tension headaches, ulcers, insomnia, muscle and joint problems.
. Increases serotonin production that improves mood and behavior.
Improves the immune system.
by JewelDiamond Taylor, author of “Shift Happens“, conference keynote speaker, women’s retreat leader, women’s life coach “The Self-esteem Dr.